To be reluctant to hire MIL as a cleaner?

[ihaveadirtydog]

I would love a cleaner-have no qualms about employing someone to do the bits that I don't like/don't have time for.

DH isn't so keen as he doesn't see the need-he wouldn't as he doesn't appreciate that there is more to keeping the house clean than a quick wipe of the surfaces and a vacuum every so often.

He is however wiling to consider paying his mum who works as a cleaner anyway, his rationale being that she is trustworthy and he'd rather her have the money than a stranger.

I don't think it's a very good idea though-for one if I wasn't impressed with the way a cleaner had done something I'd like to think i could raise it with them and I could direct a 'stranger' more easily than mil (who I don't dislike but am not close)

Plus there is the idea that she could find things that I'd rather she not see-paperwork, private items etc-you get the idea.

My next door neighbour is my cleaner. She also cleans for another neighbour, one of the banks, a bowls club and a church. She does an excellent job, asks me to let her know if I'd like anything done differently and is totally trustworthy.
We have coffee and a chat together regularly and it suits me perfectly. She comes on Sunday morning while dh is at church and I stay in bed with the papers (I clean our bedroom myself).
She also feeds the cats if we are away and takes in parcels if needed and I do the same for her.
However, in your situation I'm not sure, you'd have to be very certain and you aren't. I wouldn't have minded but a)I have no secrets and loved my mil who often did some housework for me as did my own mum. I hate housework.

Perhaps a better idea might be to ask MIL if she can recommend someone? Yes I remember that thread as well - didnt the OP print off an application for wanted down under or something?

I would not involve MIL in any aspect (if you were to ask whom she'd recommend she may well say her own self!) of this process and find a cleaner independently. Your DHs idea is badly thought out and it could all go horribly wrong all too quickly.

NOOO!!!!!!!

I'd rather have no cleaner at all, than have my MIL or DM for that matter. Business and family never ever end well. My family have learnt that the hard way

"Reluctant" wouldn't be the way I'd describe my feelings about this. Refuse. Politely and tactfully, if possible. If not, then utter rude intransigence will have to do unfortunately.

FUCK NO

Read all the old threads about problems with cleaners. Then read the thousandshundreds of threads about issues with MILs. Imagine all of those issues and problems combined in an unholy situation where the total mess is so much greater than the constituent parts. Then make your decision.

I think you should do it

NOOO, only joking! it would be a disaster

Absolutely not.

No.

No.

No.

No.

Really, just no.

Hell no!

And for balance, wouldn't have wanted my mum to, either.

May I join the chorus of 'no frigging way' please.

No. Asking for trouble.

Erm. Some real MIL hatred here. I'm hiring my mum as a cleaner. Don't see the problem. She's also doing some childcare at my house.

How many different ways are there to mop a floor and clean the bathroom? Who cares how she does it as long as I don't have to.

I wouldn't. I think you need to keep the two things separate.

What if she starts to depend on the money, but you find it's too expensive and ask her to stop, and she can't find another cleaning job? Her income would become your responsibility because she's family.

I'd leave well alone. Tell DH your MIL would be better off having a completely independent job that meant there'd be no upset on either side if it didn't work out.

My husband suggested his (quite recently divorced) ex wife come in and do our cleaning when we moved in together. I just mention this to show that husband's probably have no clue about this kind of stuff. 'You want cleaning done, she needs money - sorted.'

No....no....no.....

Do not under any circumstances agree to employ your mil . However lovely she is there is still the issue of privacy to be thought about here . I am a mil myself so no anti - mil axes to grind. Private paperwork left lying around , different ideas on standards of cleanliness .... so many possible issues . Just say NO.

mkm

OP, I employ my step-daughter for the same reasons your DH suggested - trust. This is despite the fact that when she started 18 months ago we weren't very close.

It's been a revelation in more ways than one. Not only is she bloody good, she takes a genuine pride, and it's easier to address anything that needs discussing over a coffee than as a formal employer-employee situation.

Also, we have really started to get on, partly as I am often here (work from home) when she is. I stop for lunch and we grab a sandwich and coffee and really talk.

The only thing I do is clear away all financial paperwork, as I don't want anything getting back to DH's ex. But we wouldn't leave this, or sex toys etc, out anyway!

Try it!

Not a chance in hell here either, and also, that type of deep cleaning is what I've had trouble getting cleaners to do in the past so you will likely end up having a quite specific list and risk being labelled pedantic.

No, no, no!

I love my MIL but her house is much tidier than ours. She would find all the chaos I hide when they come- things chucked in cupboards out of the way.
And all the other things I would not want her to see- my underwear drawer, the contents of the bedside cabinets, some of our books and DVDs. Nothing is off the planet but just personal.

I would hate to have any cleaner really, we once tried it and stopped because we didn't like it. We spent more time tidying before she came.

But MIL??? No, no, no! Just no!

Mind you DH would hate it as well.

I love my MIL. We get on very well. She's helpful, tactful and super organised. Would I employ her the clean my house?

NEVER, EVER, EVER.

Never ever. Similarly not my mother either - I like to have privacy.

Apart from echoing all the previous "No. No ways." I just wanted to add that I am rather surprised your DH can't see for himself how potentially disastrous this could turn out to be for your relationship with your MIL.

Is she likely to be offended though if you do employ someone else?

mkm, sorry but that's hilarious - would truly have loved to be a fly on the wall when that suggestion came out