to think he should parent his own child?!

[Wheretostartwiththis]

can the parents who have a vested intrest in there kids please enlighten me ,,,my ikkle girl was naughty yesterday ,,so me bein a parent told her off ,,then i said im goin to tell ya mum,,which i wasnt ,it was for the shock value ,,anyway my ikkle girl told me your not tellin anyone ..so i thought im nothaving my daughter tellin me whats what ,,so i rang her mum explained the situation ,,and the response i got was mind blowing ..she said you deal with it ,,im on a break ,,excuse me on a break ..i never knew there was a national having a break from bein aparent day ,,,,for me there is no break from ya responsibilities on telling ya child right from wrong ,,so my question is was i wrong for telllng her mum that she was naughty and that she then tried to tell me whats what ,,,,,all i got was abuse off her mum please enlighten me have i done wrong

AIBU to think his ex was 100% right? The father that put this on FB is a relative and I wont be back to comment as I NC for this, I am just interested in hearing opinions. Btw, this is not a hidden profile.

Oh and no, before anyone asks, I am not the mother. I am a (fairly) distant blood relative to this man.

I think the father is 100% right. Except that the target was him and not her. He was the parent then and he had the responsibility to tell the children right from wrong.
If I was the mum I'd be ringing him every single time the child was behaving badly for him to tell her off till he apologised for that comment.
And he should think of punishments or shut up after telling the poor child off.

He's not a teacher. He's the bloody father.

Did you comment on it?

If that's cut and pasted the spelling and grammar have hacked me right off for starters! Surely he should tell the child's mother at handover if there was a problem while he had her? But yes, he should have dealt with it at the time.

Surely he should tell the child's mother at handover if there was a problem while he had her?
Even then, unless she had hurt herself or it was a recurrent problem, I wouldn't expect it from nursery or school let alone the other parent.

OK I said I wouldnt be back but I will just this once.

Yes it was C&P'd, and no I didnt comment as it would cause more family fall out than you can imagine, hence the NC.

I am disgusted that he does EOW parenting (and often less than that by his own choice) and yet still criticizes his ex for her telling him to step up on the 4 days a month he spends with his child.

He is asking for enlightment, isn't he?

I think you should go passive aggressive and agree with him that parents should face up to their responsibilities.

By using her mum as a threat it looks as though he's not as comfortable in his parental authority as I am he might be?

He maybe doesn't want to take on the 'blame' of upsetting his DD when he doesn't see her very often.

I don't think he recognises that that is what's happening and so is heaping it on to the mum.

Not right, but I feel sorry for him because he seems to be floundering a bit.

HIBU to use 'my ikkle girl' even once though, let alone twice

Jesus someone really wrote that? For real? I thought people only used "ikkle" like, you know, ironically.

Clearly not the point though.

I really like Lweiji's comment

I know him trying to pin it on the mum is wrong, but taking that bit out of it, isn't he just asking for advice on how to deal with his DD when she plays him up?

Isn't that a good thing?

point him in the direction of MN so we can watch him being eaten alive

He is asking if he was wrong, but between the lines all over it he wants to be told he was right.

I think it's good advice to point him in the direction of AIBU to gather opinions. (we need an evil smiley MNHQ)

They would decimate him, and that's even before all the pedants get to him!

Grammar and spelling obviously aren't his strong point, but he does seem to be genuinely asking for advice and opinions about whether he's seeing the situation as it actually is.

IMO he's not, but there are tons of threads on MN with parents asking WTF have they got themselves into with this parenting lark.

Not one of us has a clue and isn't just making it up as they go along.

If there is such a person they'd be off making millions out of it and not wasting their time stumbling about in the dark on here

Do you want to bet that he'd go on a huff when he was told he was being unreasonable?

He'd feel right at home in AIBU then Lweji

I'd give my dh short shrift if he rang me to tick off one of our dc whilst out with them, & I think he'd be fairly incredulous if I rang him.

The parent on the ground does the disciplining. If you need to ring t'other parent for back up, you need to give your head a bit of a wobble, I think.

This applies whether you're together as a couple or not; you need to be able to manage your own dc without resorting to using the other parent as a threat ffs - not only is it unfair on them, you're basically waving a big flag at your child that she is indeed 'tellin whats what', since you apparently aren't able to cope with minor naughtiness without referring it to a higher authority.

Also, from the mum's POV, having left your dc in the presumably capable hands of the other parent, too right you get to have a break! Other than in emergencies, which your ex being an ineffectual wally is not...

I think you should say something like 'Does the mum ring you when your ikkle girl is with her?'.

(Auto correct wanted to change ikkle to kill)

Whichever parent is looking after the child should be responsible for discipline.

Any bans in place (laptop, phone etc) should be carried between houses. So you can't escape mums punishment by going to dads for a few days.

It rarely works though. We get calls all the time for DH to "tell his son off", when DSS is with his mother.

I doubt very much the mum calls him every time the DD is poorly behaved for her. He needs to get a grip and learn how to be a parent (and how to use correct English!). Parents should communicate with each other, so if Charlie's been naughty at one house, the other parent should know and reinforce the punishment at theirs.

Perhaps mention briefly at handover, but, no, he shouldn't have rung her.....etf?! Step up and deal with problems FFS!

I wish stupid people would stop having kids

He's an absolute idiot. Sorry - hes a nabsloot idyut abt hs ikkle lil laydee grl.

If the child is with the mother 12 days out of every 14, I doubt she rings him every time she has any kind of parenting issue to deal with. Perhaps she sjould start ringing him at work, or in the middle of the night when the girl has a nightmare or needs a drink, just to make the point that actually he gets a pretty extended break from parenting responsibilities.

I'm interested to hear about all the super parenting he does when the child isn't with him but he's still not on a break from it, no way!

He also sounds very childish - clearly this ikkle child is able to completely overwhelm him in a battle of wits.

He needs to work out a more effective parenting strategy than 'I'll tell your mum' to start with. When he's got his child on a visit it's up to him to parent her without running back to her mum if it gets a bit hard. So he needs to set his own ground rules and boundaries rather than just rely on calling mum up.

I reckon the mum needs to start calling him all the time and saying 'I'll tell your dad' and see how long before he understands why she told him to parent his own child.