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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that the best weddings take place at local register office or church and are

76 replies

CateBlanket · 14/08/2014 11:28

are followed by a meal or buffet for close family, close friends and their offspring. Then guests are released to enjoy their evening wherever they choose and newly wed couple start their honeymoon.

Simple, relatively hassle free for couple and guests Smile

OP posts:
DayLillie · 14/08/2014 11:34

I remember going to one when I was little that was ham salad and home made cakes in the church hall, with some fizzy wine for toasts.

It was nice. I was chief bridesmaid Grin.

Bride's mother made dresses and cakes.

Creatureofthenight · 14/08/2014 11:34

YABU to think that there is one type of wedding that is "better" than others. YANBU to consider this your ideal wedding, but everyone is different!

DayLillie · 14/08/2014 11:35

Just thought - that will be 40 years ago at the end of the month Shock. Is that a special anniversary?

Namechangearoonie123 · 14/08/2014 11:35

What about getting tipsy and boogying in your frock?

Sounds like a lot of dress up for a very short period of time. I like boogying in my frock til 1am.

fifi669 · 14/08/2014 11:36

Hmmm I personally would want the evening party.... As I know my family would too we like a drink

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 14/08/2014 11:36

Weddings should be what the wedding couple want wherever and whatever that is.

You can choose to attend or not but it's their choice.

WooWooOwl · 14/08/2014 11:37

YABU.

The best weddings are the ones where the couple genuinely love and respect each other and they are surrounded by loving and supportive friends and family who all want the best for them.

Beyond that, it's all about personal preference and there are many equally valid and enjoyable options. Personally I'd think a wedding without some kind of evening celebration was a bit shit, which is why I didn't choose it for my wedding, but if that's what another couple wanted then I'd be more than happy for them to get that.

thecageisfull · 14/08/2014 11:37

Best wedding I ever went to was abroad, reception in an ex-palace, had a buffet plus a load of sit down food, a live band and a disco and partying went on until 6am - then there was a breakfast and a lunch the next day.

HappyAgainOneDay · 14/08/2014 11:39

DayLilllie 40 years is the Ruby Wedding Anniversary.

squoosh · 14/08/2014 11:39

Wooo! Party like it's 1956 and you haven't got tuppence ha'penny to rub together.

Nah, sounds a bit boring to me OP.

NorwaySpruce · 14/08/2014 11:40

Well, I dislike weddings of the sort you describe.

I'm holding out for even the most casual acquaintance to announce they are marrying in a huge old place in the wilds of Scotland, with rooms for guests to stay in, and suits of amour in the corridors.

I will be shamelessly begging for an invitation.

A wedding held in winter in a snowy country would come a close second.

I think I might need to get married again Grin

wellnowthenmardybum · 14/08/2014 11:40

The beat part of my wedding for me was getting drunk and everyone dancing till the early hours, each to there own I guess

AuntieStella · 14/08/2014 11:41

I think the weddings I've liked best have been where the event has seemed like the party the couple has always wanted to throw.

Wedding 'industry' ones are all rather samey (though I'd never say that in RL to anyone who actually had one).

Small and local can be very lovely indeed. So can big, if that's their style.

squoosh · 14/08/2014 11:47

I agree, the best weddings are just really good parties (budget irrelevant) whereas the very stage managed ones can be a tad yawnsome.

DayLillie · 14/08/2014 11:48

Thanks Happy - off to buy card.

Actually, I don't think I have been to a wedding I have not enjoyed. Even the one we had to go up to Lincoln for the evening - although some people moaned they had hung around all day, having gone to the ceremony earlier, but it was fun to see them anyway Hmm.

The only one I did not enjoy was when I went to the evening do of someone that DH worked with. It was a bit DIY and not very well organised, but that would have been fine, if I had known anyone there.......... No idea whose wedding it was either.

pommedeterre · 14/08/2014 11:51

The best weddings include something for all guests to enjoy, means no guest is having a shit time. Couple is happy and smiley, the atmosphere is relaxed and happy and not all about being some kind of memorial to the couple (no huge speeches detailing their entire lives, no massive fuss over 1st dance and cake etc)

Really good food and wine helps massively. Lots of different drinks available also good.

magpiegin · 14/08/2014 11:54

Yabu. The best weddings are ones that the bride and groom want.

We really wanted a great party in the evening so put lots of effort in that and we (and hopefully our guests) had a great time.

Not saying your idea of a great wedding isn't, but everyone is different.

BackforGood · 14/08/2014 11:55

YABU to think there is a 'one size fits all'

I've been to lots of weddings, and the length of the celebrations / size of the guest list / fact there are or aren't children there / etc. does not in anyway correlate to how much I've enjoyed them.

I think the best weddings are where the B&G are relaxed, happy, and aware it's all about the declarations, and that it's not a "show" or performance for anyone else. That might, or might not include dancing the night away with friends.

M00nUnit · 14/08/2014 11:56

I don't think you even necessarilly have to be "surrounded by your friends and family" to have a wonderful wedding. I got married on a Carribean beach and the only people there were my husband, the minister and two witnesses (who the photographer and our wedding co-ordinator). It was the best and most romantic day of my life. We had a party back home for friends and family a few months later though.
I've also been to big, traditional, all-day weddings which were lovely too. I think it comes down to personal preference.

Original poster
CateBlanket · 14/08/2014 11:57

Ok, I'll allow an evening do we had one Smile

but close friends and family only - not everyone you ever spoke to at university and everyone you're on nodding terms with at work.

OP posts:
McFox · 14/08/2014 12:01

YABU, that sounds really, really dull to me.

A big part of my wedding was the epic party in the evening which went on until 2am - we had the most amazing, emotional day followed by lots of dancing and it was so much fun! It was basically the best party we'd ever thrown (and we host a lot) and everyone had a ball.

People still comment on it being one of the best weddings they'd ever been to. I can't imagine they would feel like that if they'd been told to go home after a couple of sausage rolls and a curled up sandwich.

laregina · 14/08/2014 12:01

YABU.

The best weddings are the ones that lead to a long and happy life together; doesn't matter one jot the way they do it Smile

dashoflime · 14/08/2014 12:04

I'm with Namechangearoonie Big mad party, boogie in your frock. Room full of friends and rellies drunk and wearing suits. Bridesmaids doing coke in the toilets and shagging the DJ. That's what you need.

Mine was very like what the OP describes in the day time (registry office, modest reception in a pub for immediate family) but I invited EVERYONE for drinks and dancing afterwards. It was wild.

We left at 1.30 and went back to a friends house to change out of our wedding gear (had to step, tipsily over casualties to do so), pick up our bags and then straight to a minicab office to get a lift to the airport.

By the next afternoon we were sitting on the beach, drinking beers. No sleep and still had panda eyes from my wedding make up.

I wouldn't have had it any other way.

firesidechat · 14/08/2014 12:06

It's what we did, so of course it's the best. Smile

It was 30 years ago though and more the done thing then. Times have changed.

RightsaidFreud · 14/08/2014 12:11

How old are you OP? Everyone 45+ on OH side of the family agree with you and were HORRIFIED at the fact that when we get married we wouldn't have a buffet. I think they need to get out of the 70s.

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