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Original poster

To consider this? Re children going to park alone...

61 replies

MrsWinnibago · 14/08/2014 10:48

DD1 is just turned 10. DD2 is 6 and a half. Can I let DD1 take DD2 to the park up the road?

It's a big park....which is what worries me really, surrounded by bike track and fields. The park itself though is close to the path and road but fenced in.

DD1 already goes to the shops nearby alone....but she's never been alone to the park....always gone with friends her own age.

My sister says DD1 is too young to be responsible for a very lively 6 year old. What to do?

Shall I just wait till DD2 is a bit older? They play outside a bit but only in the garden. the park is less than 5 mins walk away....

OP posts:
londonrach · 14/08/2014 12:51

10 year old yes with friends but she's too young to look after 6 year old.

Aheadofyourtime · 14/08/2014 12:54

Everyone's different Never , but if you are happy that she knows what to do in the event of accident/ emergency etc and for you yourself be overall responsible then that's fine but doesn't mean it's right for all. Children vary, neighbourhoods vary, Parks vary from tiny and next door to huge and on the other side of town.

NorwaySpruce · 14/08/2014 12:55

Neverendingnappies , I think there is an age thing going on too.

My 10 year old would be better able to 'control' a 4 YO. The two more years make a 6 year old a different proposition all together.

The 6 year old would see themselves as being on a much more even footing with the 10 year old, so the concept of an authority figure wouldn't be there, making playing up more likely.

I still wouldn't inflict them on my 10 year old though, partly because of the questioning by well meaning strangers that my 10 year old would probably have to deflect.

Nancy66 · 14/08/2014 13:01

So much depends on where you live. I wouldn't do this at my local park because it would involve crossing a main road where cars routinely don't stop at the zebra crossing. my park is also over run with idiots who all have 'status' dogs that they can't control properly - a problem that's particularly bad in summer holidays

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 14/08/2014 13:59

Also my 6 year old does stuff like gets stuck on the monkey bars and needs me to help her off. A 10 year couldn't do that.

melissa83 · 14/08/2014 14:13

Here that is the done thing. Dd is 6 and doesnt need anyone looking after her in the park she just behaves herself. If your child isnt like that then you cant send them

Shedding · 14/08/2014 14:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 14/08/2014 14:33

Ghoul my 6 year old definitely would not get stuck, she's very strong and confident but there's no telling if my 10 year old would! Grin She's not nearly as good a climber.

Melissa she would behave herself as in she'd not do anything "naughty" but there's no knowing what she'd do if someone else was naughty near her....she might get upset.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 14/08/2014 14:34

NOrway nobody would question it around here...loads of kids of 6 and up go alone to the park. But they seem to be a little bit neglected as in they're out and about all day long with no supervision. I'm not sure my DD would like it if they were allowed too much freedom.

OP posts:
melissa83 · 14/08/2014 14:36

Its hard to say on age dd is very streetwise and confident but most children are here as they all allowed free range.

Dd would hold her own against even the teenagers if anything came up but shes used to being over the park for hours a day and attends full time club and mixes with all age groups there to.

Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 14/08/2014 14:38

Melissa and that's why I now think DD is too young. She's a young ten really and we've only lived here for a few months....where we were before was a no kids out alone area but here they'r far more capable and streetwise. She's got a bit more catching up to do I think.

If some teens decided to tease her for instance, she'd be devastated I reckon.

OP posts:
HerRoyalNotness · 14/08/2014 14:39

If it's only 5mins away I would let them try it out. I'd go and check on them after about 15mins, quietly observe to see how they're getting on.

If there is shennanigans then you'll know they're not ready.

I'd prep them with instruction of what to do in an emergency, sticking together, don't leave the park to go anywhere else and if they fail, they won't get to go alone again any time soon.

melissa83 · 14/08/2014 14:43

Dd was over the park with her gang all 6/7/8 and this boy who was 13 told her to get lost as she was a baby. She said dont worry mum I just said to him What does that make you then your the one in the park with no friends picking on a 6 year old! And then he left them alone!

I do think its because shes been around all the ages for so long she doesnt feel intimidated. What you need to do is start slow and once they got a couple of mates over there and its familiar they will be fine. I think its good for them.

chrome100 · 14/08/2014 15:23

I would. Let them have a few trials and see how they behave. You might find they both behave better when you are not there and they know they have to take responsibility for themselves.

amyhamster · 14/08/2014 15:27

Would a ten year old have a phone though if anything went wrong ?
There's no longer a telephone box in our village so my dc wouldn't be able to call for help unless they had a mobile & I think secondary school is the age most have them round here

therenter · 14/08/2014 16:01

I must be another awful parent then Never. I allow dd 1 (12) and dd 2 (almost 11) to take my dd (8) and my ds (5) to the park. The park is literally 3 mins walk away but they have to cross 2 roads (both are virtually traffic free v quiet).
As a family we walk everywhere and even the littlest one knows all about road safety and I trust him explicitly with his sisters who are both very sensible.
I have on the occasion allowed them to go with just the one older dd as well. Although I have to admit the story of the unconscious child has just got me thinking.
You know your own children and whether or not they are sensible enough to both take charge and listen. Like another poster said mine know that if they play up for their sisters they won't get to go with them again and they have never given me cause for concern. They love it.

KellyElly · 14/08/2014 16:29

A six year old shouldn't be out and about unsupervised by an adult, so no.

melissa83 · 14/08/2014 16:44

Why kellyelly? I am really interested in the paranoid parenting/cotton wool kid type research saying how children can no longer play as they have always done. I think its just the media and the culture nowadays makes parents fearful of normal scenarios.

Notso · 14/08/2014 17:01

Would you trust the 6 year old to go alone?

I only let my older two anywhere together unsupervised when it was something I would trust them both to do alone. I have never made my oldest be in charge, I tell them they are both responsible for themselves and they should both look out for each other.

MimsyBorogroves · 14/08/2014 17:07

I wouldn't. Responsible for herself, yes, but not for another, younger child. What if something went wrong? Go yourself with a book and give them the freedom, but at least you're within shouting distance that way.

Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 14/08/2014 18:14

I do go myself a lot but after almost 10 years of it I am heartily sick and tired of it. I won't let them go alone because too many people here think it's not on.../.but I can't wait till I can allow it to be honest!

OP posts:
dibdobs · 14/08/2014 18:30

My then 11 and 8 yr old sons took my 5 yr old to our park last yr, apparently he climbed in the bin and threw a banana skin at several teens calling them stinky! Luckily they laughed but my eldest was soo embarrassed. My youngest now goes to the school right nxt to the park so i have to go there daily, i hate it lol

KellyElly · 18/08/2014 11:24

melissa83 Because a six year old doesn't have the emotional maturity to deal with many situations, especially if they are nearer to five than seven, they are unlikely to be totally safe with crossing roads alone etc at that age and however low the risk of something happening to them, why take it at such a young age? For all of the above reasons I wouldn't think it was reasonable to ask a ten year old to take on the responsibility of being 'in charge'.

Notso · 18/08/2014 16:58

I would disagree with that KellyElly I and most of my peers were playing out at that age. We crossed roads, handled strangers talking to us, coped when one of our 'gang' broke his leg, went to the shops for our parents.
I think parents expectations of youngsters and fear of danger has changed.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 18/08/2014 17:07

My rule of thumb is: would you let the younger child do the activity on their own? If I felt the 6yo was old enough to go to the park themselves then obviously I'd feel ok about sending them with an older child. But then having been very much responsible for my baby brother from the day he was born, I'm a bit funny about putting lots of responsibility on older siblings.