AIBU? Or am I overreacting?

[DarthvadersUndercrackers]

Long, but dont want to drip feed.

DD is 16. She has a myriad of health problems including hypermobility which means any knocks etc can damage her joints.

She is currently on holiday with MIL and last night they went to the theatre to see a show. Not a big production, just a song and dance thing. The atmosphere was good, very much 'singalong' and at the encore many people got out their phones to record the last couple of minutes.

On seeing half the audience do it DD decided to record a few seconds to show me (and it would have been a few seconds as she sends short videos via Vine or Whats App). I've seen the video she took it's a few seconds and her phone is so low she's actually only got the people on stage from the waist down.

It's important to note here that the phone wasn't obscuring anyones view, and as I say at this point half the crowd were recording the encore.

An older 'lady' and I use the term loosely, who was sat two rows behind (the seats sloped so unless she was looking down at DD rather than straight at the stage) leaned forward and physically slapped DD around her wrist so hard she dropped her phone. The slap was hard enough to leave a mark and incredibly fortunate that it didn't dislocate her wrist. DD forwarded me the video, it's a total of 5 seconds. So she lifted the phone, pressed record, the woman hit her immediately and DD dropped the phone. This is shown on the video.

I am bloody furious tbh. Why did this lady not pick a fight with any of the other older ladies around her who were filming? Why didn't she slap the women either side of her? I'm guessing because DD is young and in a minority in that audience she made an easy target.

DD wanted to report it to staff immediately. MIL wouldn't let her. Arriving back at the hotel DD was quite upset and told me all about it. She said she was returning to the theatre today to report it as she had the womans seat number. MIL refuses to let DD report the incident and doesn't think it's anything to bother about. I do and DH does as well.

So MN, what do we do? Let it go or shall I report it myself from here for DD?
She's fed up, upset with MIL's attitude towards the whole thing and wants to come home.

cabbage as they were told it had been reported I expected something like 'sorry this happened on our premises and we will assist with any enquiries'

What they seem to be saying there basically is if you are assaulted on their premises unless you report it there and then they aren't going to do much.

Cabbage I suppose she was hoping they'd tell her that if the police contacted them then they would be as helpful as possible. That would have sounded better than "We're not telling you who sat there" I suppose.

OP, the response from the theatre is fairly poor, but TBH there's not really much they can do one a patron has left the premises, and they can't just go releasing information to the public (though you didn't actually ask, they might have felt it was implied that you were asking for details of the person in the seat).

Hopefully the police, who do actually have the power to do something, will take it seriously, and at least the theatre has a heads-up if the police stop by to get the details of the woman off them.

Appalling behaviour, and it doesnt matter if your daughter was filming it. You dont go assaulting people. Anyone who excuses this is victim blaming. Im glad the police are taking it seriously. They will be able to garner better information from the theatre.

Hope you find the culprit.

Your poor DD. Very disappointing action from your MIL, too. I hope the PCSO can help out.

Fair enough Darth and MrsW - it would have been better if they'd said they would help the police with their enquiries. But I do think there's probably not an awful lot they can do other than that.

It was a horrible thing to happen to your DD though and hopefully the police will deal with it appropriately. You were definitely right to report it.

In fairness I didn't expect much from the Theatre, though as MrsW says I did expect 'sorry, we'll assist' kind of thing.

Anyway, it's in the hands of the PCSO now so hopefully he can sort it out.

FX they do. And actually, I think part of what is important is that you showed your DD that you took it seriously and supported her. That said, I'd recommend trying to distract her a bit now - it may come to nothing in the end and it's probably best she doesn't worry/ruminate over it too much in the meantime.

Hope you're both feeling better soon

Hopefully the theatre will be more cooperative if the police get involved. I would be really angry with you mil for down playing it.

Probably definitely biased, but i think her hm is relevant, as the woman needs to know the potential outcome of her randomly assaulting a stranger i have eds

Beyond you have my sympathy, I also have EDS, my fault she has the HM sadly. Neither are easy conditions to live with.

MIL has really disappointed me through this. She actually text DH at work to ask him to have a word with DD about the nonsense. Credit to DH he did tell her we were supporting DD 100% on this.

MIL hasn't changed her stance and is still eye rolling at any mention of it. I very much doubt DD will be able to count on any support from her when the Police come for a chat.

Can't wait to get her home on Saturday for a bloody big hug.