To expect a thank you?!

[itsnormalforbridgwater]

Sent an old friend a bouquet of flowers to hospital when she gave birth to her first baby. Heard nothing so two weeks later I text her to ask her if she had got them, thinking that they might have gotten lost and i got a response saying "Yes we did, they were the first of many"

AIBU to have appreciated a thank you or at least acknowledgement?!

I think she's a bit busy...

Get over yourself, she has just had a baby!

Wow that's rude

If she's normally fine, I'd just put it down to having a 2 week old.

I'd forgive the lack of initial thank you.

But "Yes we did, they were the first of many" is just rude.

While I think a lack of a thank you after a wedding gift is disgustingly rude, I can't get worked up about the lack of a thank you for a new baby gift. Especially after only two weeks.

It would be nice to get a thank you, but it's not something I'd want to pressure my friends into worrying about when they have a birth to recover from and a newborn to deal with.

Yeah I think that was a bit odd, the last comment.

TBH the friendship has been quite one sided for a while now. Perhaps she's just not interested anymore and I should stop making effort.

Given that she replied to say she had got the flowers, how much effort would it have taken to tag "thank you" on to the end of her message? YANBU, I think her reply was a bit rude too

Yes, she should have said thank you. A text takes seconds to send, newborns sleep for hours so it's not like there's no time to be polite.

That's incredibly rude.

Ah if only you'd asked us our opinion

When you've just had a baby you don't want or need flowers

You need microwavable meals, muslin cloths & offers of pushing the pram around the block in a months time

IMO

I think she should have put a thank you on the end of her msg at least,

Although I know I probably missed thanking some people for things - I just honestly was in such a daze, still drugged up due to pain, and the newborn was pretty much the only thing I paid any attention to for about a month

I think her response was rude but she's just had a baby. Some people go weird. Also, I've never expected a thank you really from flowers sent for a birth.

newborns sleep for hours

Yes but often on the mum so not chance to put baby down & lift a pen in my experience!

I've had a baby and i would have loved flowers, in fact Id personally say thank you regardless of whether I needed the present or not.

Maybe saying ''they were the first of many'' meant 'Your bunch was the first i got'. You got in first, sort of thing. She could have put a thank you in there while she was texting, but personally i wouldn't be looking for thanks from a brand new mum for a bunch of flowers. It's hardly friend of the year stuff.

Who knows what the last 2 weeks have been like for her? Maybe her baby has reflux? Maybe she is suffering from PND? Certainly she'll be bleeding like a stuck pig, with leaking boobs and stitches maybe. Juggling parents and inlaws, lack of sleep, worrying about a tiny baby for the first time plus all lifes other usual shite ... forgive her for not systematically thanking everyone that sent a card or a bunch of flowers. Those first days pass in a blur.

Gosh! Thank you for this thread. I've just remembered to e-mail someone for a plant brought round last Sunday.

Yes, it would not have meant much effort to add 'Thank You' in the return text. Yes we did, they were the first of many" are nine words so how long would it take to add another two?

Tbh I'm surprised the thanks didn't come after the "yes we did" seems like it just goes together so to speak.

Still a bit rude anyway, sure she had enough time to add thanks on that text.

Yeah, it's been 4 months and I'm still sending thank yous. It's a slow process between sleep deprivation and taking care of the baby. I send them in waves, based on social circles. So that way if people talk and compare they all get theirs at the same time.

Anyway, the last comment was probably innocent or not meant to be as insensitive as you took it. The first two weeks are just absolutely crazy with hormones readjusting, visitors, your body going back to normal... It's a mess.

On a side note, my flowers all died because I forgot to refill the vases once they drank the water.

I think flowers aren't a baby gift as such and I wouldn't assume they needed a thank you card. A thank you would have been nice. However, her response makes me think there is something else going on. I have a couple of PA friends who make huge unwanted efforts with people then get bent out of shape when these aren't returned or aren't suitably lauded. It's exhausting.

There's no excuse for not putting the words 'thank you' in the text.

Her text was rude and should have said thank you.
YAB a little bit U to be annoyed not to have heard anything within two weeks after a birth though. I think it's fine for people to say their thank yous once they've got their heads together a bit, and that can be much later.

I would reply 'your welcome'

That message was awful.

But playing devil's advocate, perhaps she had been nagged by MIL to write thank you notes, her baby has horrendous colic and she read your text as "Why haven't you acknowledged my flowers?!"

I can almost see how one could say it. Message her again in a month or two, see how she is then. If still snippy and rude cut your losses.

*you're welcome would be even better (pedant....)