to be worried about seeing consultant about elective c section tomorrow?

[heraldgerald]

I'm so nervous I actually feel sick. I had a three day Labour last time as I failed to dilate and spent two days at home labouring because I wasn't 4 cm. I never got to bloody 4 cm even with the syntocin! It was a horrendous experience and I've had trauma treatment on the nhs since as a result. I was shattered afterwards and got very ill with an infection.

I have thought long and hard and I cannot face going through that again.

Anyway. I have been told by my midwife I'll have to 'argue my case strongly' about getting one.

I have no idea how strongly I'll need to argue - I don't want to break down in tears and I'm scared I will.

It's triggering even now issues with body control and fears of invasive procedures like sweeps. Aibu to be so wound up?

Sorry I keep losing posts.

And sorry for drama queen type posting- I had a panic attack while waiting for the appointment. All the anxiety just built up.

They were very nice and booked me in in the end on the understanding that it hadn't been cleared with the consultant yet, and booked me for a session with the consultant mw to discuss birth fears

Now feeling embarrassed about pa and absolutely shattered. Thanks for all advice and support x

It depends on the hospital I think. I had a very similar experience of first labour resulting in emcs. I had to see the vbac midwife first and she was there to talk throughthe options. She eexplained all the dangers of another cs but had actually read my notes and was very sympathetic and realised that she wasn't going to talk me round. I then saw the consultant who just rubber stamped my request. My friend going through the samessituation at a different hospital had a bit more pressure to try for a vbac but still got an elcs signed off fairly easily.
Even if you are turned down, be very clear about your choice, say ghat the trauma you suffered previously is a good enough reason and request to see another consultant if needs be. Good luck!

herald, you are not being a drama queen. You are being anxious and are not able to control it. It is a health issue. The sooner you can process that this is an illness, like a physical one, you'll be kinder to yourself which will ultimately hope you cope in future.

You have NOTHING to apologise for at all.

Brilliant am so happy for you, now you can relax and enjoy your pregnancy

Thanks for all support.

Thanks red for your kind words. Brought a tear to my eye. I will try to view it like that.

I went into the "consultant " at west Middlesex prepared for an argument. The doctor (who turned out to be merely an SHO) booked me in for a c section there and then at 38 weeks. This wasn't the end of the matter though. I was knicker less in my gown outside theatre at 38 weeks when the real consultant appeared and demanded to know why I was having a section and why I was there at 38 weeks. She told me to get dressed and sent me home. She also threw all sorts of stats at me, arguing that I should be having a vbac. I did end up having a planned section a week later. I stood my ground and obviously had done my research. I do believe it's best to stand your ground and politely state your case. I'm told that they can have monthly objectives to meet in terms of c section rates.

wrack that must have been awful! I hope you complained

Glad you got what you wanted/needed.

I had my first in the UK, 3rd degree tear, ventouse, not very nice op afterwards. My second was born in the US, where we now live, and here it was up to me all along how I gave birth. Obviously the health insurance/NHS difference is absolutely not to be underestimated, but here there is very little scaremongering about c-sections and their risks. One doctor said something along the lines of - 'yes, it's a major operaton, but it's also the most commonly performed operation and has saved countless lives.' Kind of puts things into perspective.

In the event, DC2 was breech and I had an emergency c-section. If there's ever a DC3, I'll have another c-section. Despite the scar and recovery time, it was much better than the unknowns of a vaginal birth. It shocks me that had I been in the UK, and DC2 hadn't been breech, I'd have had to 'fight'. I honestly think that if men gave birth, there wouldn't be this need. Women know their own bodies and should be able to choose.

In my experience you need to be patient when wanting an ELCS and also show that you have taken on board all the various arguments for VBAC so that you can say you have considered all the information but still want an ELCS.

My ELCS (due to previous CS) wasn't approved and booked in until 36 weeks. (But I was asked to consider VBAC a few times during my pregnancy up to this point) I ended up saying I would try a VBAC if I went into labour naturally as I had had a failed induction previously, but that if I went a week overdue I would not agree to another induction and would prefer to go straight to c-section. (This was completely my choice btw - they would have also agreed to go straight to section if that would have been what I had wanted)

By my 36 week appointment there were no arguments, they just booked in my preferred date. I didn't go into labour and had the ELCS no problem.

Glad it's worked out ok for you OP.

Herald, there is no need to thank me. I am just telling you how it is.

I think anxiety/phobias aren't well understood even by those who suffer from them. We are getting there with understanding depression as a society; as a wise old poster on here said to me "you wouldn't call a depressed person "a bit down in the dumps or tell them to cheer up" these days because they simply can't. In the same way someone who suffers from anxiety can't just "get over it". A panic attack is just the way that anxiety manifests itself. Which in itself can make your anxiety worse.

Someone nudged me in the direction of this link last week, and I think its a helpful one to reassure you, in terms of what anxiety is, and how little it is really understood and how little empathy people general have for it.
www.buzzfeed.com/robynwilder/phrases-that-people-with-anxiety-are-tired-of-hearing

It may be worth you looking at CBT or Mindfulness to help you cope. There is no universal solution out there, and it is very much an individual thing. Not everything works for everyone. This could be with a counsellor or you could just try self help methods. The NHS do offer help for anxiety. In terms of your fears regarding birth, you may or may not have time to do this before you give birth, but it is probably worth trying to tackle your issue anyway as you may get something out of it before the birth or it may simply help you in the future as your anxiety may well continue beyond you having the baby.

Glad to hear that OP. I spoke about mine at every appointment and it didn't get approved till 32 weeks, got my date through at 34 weeks. X

when the real consultant appeared and demanded to know why I was having a section and why I was there at 38 weeks. She told me to get dressed and sent me home. She also threw all sorts of stats at me, arguing that I should be having a vbac

I am praying you called PALS and reported this, how horrific.

Its behaviour like this, that makes people nervous and feel stressed out and like they have to fight.

If you have private medical insurance you might be able to just book it privately. I did. Malpresentation is an indication for CS and that can happen at any time, so if your consultant agrees, he or she can always write that as the official reason for the insurance company.