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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to slap this 'friend'

79 replies

CundtBake · 12/08/2014 09:14

Ok, Facebook related please forgive me.

Following the sad news of Robin Williams death someone who I am friendly with posted a status calling him a coward, saying anyone who tries to kill them self is a coward and an idiot.

I texted him saying he was out of order, clearly has no idea what he's talking about and needs to educate himself and stop being a prick. He replied 'it's not new news I've always been honest on my opinions on this subject'

I was sectioned a few years ago after struggling severely with depression and anxiety and trying to kill myself numerous times. But even if I hadn't AIBU to think he's an idiot and not want to be friendly with him anymore?

OP posts:
MumBoots · 12/08/2014 10:02

What a dickhead.

Why does anyone care what his thoughtless opinion is? A man has taken his life.

These Facebook keyboard warriors who talk shit behind a screen really piss me off.

I'm glad you texted him, OP. Don't waste any more time on him, though. X

flippinada · 12/08/2014 10:04

Sorry to hear you are feeling so low Meow. I have suffered (suffer being the operative word, as you will know ) from severe depression myself and I know how hard it can be. I understand why you don't want to listen to the news, it can feel like too much.

Please take care of yourself.

HellonHeels · 12/08/2014 10:12

I understand the anger and hurt of those left behind and sorry for him if he's been affected by suicide but nonetheless that is an extremely insensitive comment.

Delete him OP and don't engage with his nasty comments. He doesn't sound like a good friend.

Thanks to everyone suffering today.

AdamLambsbreath · 12/08/2014 10:14

You got a digi radio, meow?

I tend to put Radio 4 Extra on in those circumstances. Lots of reruns of old comedies, serialisations of books etc. Nice and soothing.

Of course, you may be cooler than me and not an R4 fan Wink

Ninjabread · 12/08/2014 10:17

All the coolest people are radio 4 fans!

Meow75 · 12/08/2014 10:19

AdamLambsbreath,

R4 is indeed my station of choice. I thought about 4 extra but couldn't quite motivate myself to do it. Hell, at the moment, I'm struggling to motivate myself to put pants on.

It's now an hour since I showered. I could have spent that time knitting if only I'd got dressed!!

Okay - that is making me think about what to wear ...

Meow75 · 12/08/2014 10:20

Ninja,

MN needs a like button. Grin

LarrytheCucumber · 12/08/2014 10:21

He is entitled to his opinion. However it is very insensitive of him. I would say it is the opposite of cowardly to commit suicide.

AdamLambsbreath · 12/08/2014 10:21

Amen Ninja

LokiBear · 12/08/2014 10:24

He is ignorant. Unless you have been there, you can't possibly know how it feels. I have never been there, but I know that depression is an illness. Don't give his thoughtless comments the time of day. The man is clearly a f!@#ing idiot.

sourdrawers · 12/08/2014 10:24

He sounds a right prick! Steer clear of him is my advice and tell him why you're doing so, if you can. Anyone who believes depression is some kind of life style choice needs a to know what a prick they are.

Very best wishes to you O.P.

bumpiesonamission · 12/08/2014 10:25

What a twat! YANBU give him one for me and my friend who's son tried it yesterday

Meow75 · 12/08/2014 11:01

Ok, I've made it downstairs having got dressed, the washing machine is on, I have tea, pain au chocolat and knitting.

See you later, you lovely people!! Wink

foslady · 12/08/2014 11:04

That kind of comment speaks volumes about him. He's either very ignorant of a debilitating condition or is full of anger over someone he's lost.
Either way right now you don't need this person in your life - whichever is his issue he believes -sadly - he is right.
For everyone affected by the news, stay strong, and remember mn'ers are always here to talk if you don't feel strong enough for the more 'official' groups.
And sod what anyone thinks (((hugs))) for anyone who needs one.

AdamLambsbreath · 12/08/2014 11:08

Mmm, pain au chocolat

Have a nice knit Smile

Nomama · 12/08/2014 11:08

I would tend to agree with him, but then I found MIL, 2 days before DHs 40th birthday. I had gone round to do some shopping with her, she knew I would be the one who found her. My thoughts may be coloured by my experience.

However, on my more balanced days I do have some sympathy for anyone who chooses such an action. But I have far, far more for the person who finds them and their family.

zippey · 12/08/2014 11:19

I think people who say things like this are immature, dont know what they are talking about, and probably being inflammatory and attension seeking. Its a bit like people who are judgmental about how people bring up kids when they dont have any children themselves.

Not sure what I would do. Slapping seems like a good option, or a quick post on FB to let them and others know you are defriending and why.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 12/08/2014 11:29

It's culturally sanctioned victim blaming. And I despise it.

I understand the anger that comes from grieving, or finding the body, I really do.

But i don't think that's where this disgust and hatred comes from at a societal level.

HellonHeels · 12/08/2014 11:31

Nice work Meow Hope the knitting is soothing.

OnlyLovers · 12/08/2014 11:36

How ignorant. Does he know about your health, OP? Not that it's acceptable if he doesn't; it's just even more insensitive if he does.

juliascurr · 12/08/2014 11:36

Meow
I've got MS and use a wheelchair
have had depression
MS is far easier

hope you're ok
Thanks

flippinada · 12/08/2014 11:56

I can understand the anger reaction from those who are "left behind" (for want of a better phrase. And I can't imagine the trauma of finding somebody - that must be very traumatic.

Sounds like this bloke is just an insensitive clod who harks from the school of "pull yourself together" thinking which helps nobody and reinforces stigma around mental illness.

Nomama · 12/08/2014 11:57

Miscellaneous, you will only understand the depth of feeling if you have experienced it... I sincerely hope you don't. It is a never ending mini hell.

12 years on and I am still occasionally brought up short by something that is different because of it, DHs occasional emotional stuntedness because of it. The ramifications of suicide are enormous and never go away... they just linger almost out of sight, but not quite gone.

WarblingOyster · 12/08/2014 12:28

That is disgusting. I don't think it's cowardly at all, if anything, the opposite. It sounds wrong to say he was 'brave' for committing suicide but I think if your life is not worth living to you anymore, you must have real strength to be able to end it and bring death upon yourself. He was an amazing man and he'll be greatly missed.

I'm also tired of seeing, on social media, 'you didn't care whilst he was alive so why do you care now?'
Is it wrong to respect the dead?

MiscellaneousAssortment · 12/08/2014 12:32

Nomama I have.

And it's not that I'm talking about. Im talking about the glib cruelty of people who belittle and sneer at those so ill and despairing they cannot see a way out. That is the disgusting thing. The jokes and hideousness of comments after a train has been delayed due to a suicide. That kind of thing. It's dehumanizing and cruel. It's a way of turning vulnerable people into figures of hate and disgust. It's foul.