AIBU to ask how many real friends you have?

[Froggio]

I only have a couple now that I can honestly say I enjoy the company of. I think I'm turning into such a grumpy old woman but all my friends seem to piss me off nowadays and I can't be arsed to keep in touch with them.
My best friend has turned into a big snob, is self obsessed and is married to a right arse. They stealth boasts on FB all the time it drives me mad. I know I know, I don't have to look at FB. We had another couple round yesterday and I couldn't wait for them to go. They talked non-stop, didn't listen, their kids were a nightmare and it ended in tears as she accused him of having an affair. I dislike another because she made a rude comment or 2 about my DH when he was going thru a rough patch of depression. Another is really flakey about keeping time, always complains about being so busy and is so self-obsessed.
Is it just me? It makes me so sad as I used to be a really sociable person but people just annoy me nowadays. The only people I like are my own children, a few of my family, and DH (and sometimes not even him!). But I dont want to be old and lonely!

I think I've got 5 Friends who'd do anything to help each other out, dozens of Mates who "probably" would & are good for a night out/hobbies & a Hundred people on Facebook whose antics I enjoy reading but with no real desire to catch up in the flesh...

I think I have different friends for different things.

I have four or five (separate) friends who I don't see very often, but who I immediately feel very connected to when we're in touch - we talk on a much more intimate level, and there's a sense of longstanding connection. I've known them all for c. 20 years.

Then I've got friends I see more often - for different things: drinking, dancing, theatre, evenings out. Also people who had children at the same stage as me, with whom I chew the fat about what they are up to, and what new challenges are happening. And a bunch of people I know through work, with whom I'm friendly, but not friends iyswim.

One of the key things for me to realise in recent years is that I'd become a bit slack about being a friend myself (partly because of having small DCs, partly due to becoming overly preoccupied with my own concerns). Now I'm a better friend to others, I feel the quality of my friendships has really improved.

none

None but I don't particularly care.
I would prefer not to have to put myself out for other people (except family) and I don't like telling anyone anything (including family). I don't think many people are helpful in times of need, I think they just enjoy your misery. Conversely most people are jealous of good fortune. There's loads and loads of things the people who would consider themselves 'good' friends of mine don't know and I don't ever want them to know. Trust no one is my line of thought!

All your replies have made me feel a lot better. I am definitely less tolerant with age (am only 41, it's gonna get worse!). I am going to stop worrying about it, none of my 'friends' seem that fussed, and just enjoy my little family and the 1 or 2 close friends I do have. I am always telling DH he needs to make more effort with his friends, he only has 2 left. But what the hell, they never do so why should he.
Funnily enough this subject was on the local radio this evening. Apparently 7% Londoners have no real friends.

I have read all the replies with great interest too Froggio - you are right, you definitely get less tolerant with age. I am 45 now and up until my late 30s considered myself to have quite a few friends. But as I commented earlier I don't have any now, just close family and my husband. Glad you brought this subject up as I have to admit I HAD been a tad worried I was abnormal, although I am perfectly happy with my situation! I chat to people in the street, when I take my dog a walk and if I'm on a night out with hubby or family but don't feel the need for a really close friend anymore. Maybe that will change in the future, but I definitely feel more comfortable after reading others comments on here!

I have few friends but I can call them at 3am and they will be there for me and this is reciprocated.
I have lots of associates though to which i'm friendly and this is reciprocated.

If you couldn't call them at 3am they aren't friends

I used to have a best friend. I made the abnormal (for me) mistake of disclosing a secret about her to my dp. For some stupid reason I told her about it. I've always considered my dp to be a part of me so I didn't feel I was betraying her at the time. Turns out I was. Now I have zero friends.

Oh, woe is me.

None, close or otherwise.