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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to wish I didn't have to work

75 replies

superbagpuss · 11/08/2014 17:46

and I was independently wealthy

there are so many things I would like to do, charity work, further study, jobs that don't pay well but sound interesting

I am the main wage earner so need to work but I'm getting bored in my current occupation. I always planned a career change - to become a lecturer in my chosen field, but have no idea how to do this and the internet talks about retraining which as a family we can't afford for me to do.

what's more annoying is dh got to go on a free course to learn about teaching and now he's not sure he will go for as job doing that

OP posts:

missorinoco · 11/08/2014 22:17

missorinoco · 11/08/2014 22:18

And getting a new smartphone. Bloody evil thing.
That will teach it.

scottishmummy · 11/08/2014 22:20

Of course id still work.i have no desire to fanny aboot idle rich.how dull
I find it unfathomable to exist simply spending and lunching very I shop,therefore i am
Id love the liquidity of being super rich,but id still be canny with money

TheBogQueen · 11/08/2014 22:23

I was SAHM the not frap job and now in ft job which is more demanding and interesting.

When SAHM I always thought I would learn to cook, make jam, bake, sew

Them I realised I was shit at all those things and they bored me.
So I went back to work

ShitStickSugar · 11/08/2014 22:23

I am very lucky that I dont really have to work. I enjoy faffing around, annoying the animals. Just doing my own thing

I never get bored!

TheBogQueen · 11/08/2014 22:24

Sorry 'SAHM then crap pt job.'

I'm shit at typing on phone too

weatherall · 11/08/2014 22:43

This is all 'grass is greener' fantasising!

Not working involves:

-boredom
-no money for hobbies
-trapped at home because no money for petrol/fares
-your DCs saying why should I go to school when you don't?
-isolation (friends all at work)
-other people being 'envious' and making nasty remarks
-dependency on spouse/state
-low self esteem
-feeling like a drudge
-no one ever saying thank you
-having no purpose/no reason to get out of bed
-poverty/homelessness
-DCs feeling stigma of above
-resentment in relationship
-getting called lazy/a scrounger
-wasting your education
-having nothing interesting to talk about
-monotony
-depression

Anyone still want to swap?

MrsWinnibago · 11/08/2014 22:45

Scottish I'd work but at things I love! Fannying about with fabric and writing stories....you know, proper fannying about! Not shopping all day.

Hissy · 11/08/2014 23:07

I like my job. I really do.

But bugger me, i'm fed up to the back teeth of being the only one supporting it all.

If my ex were half a man and paid me anything with regularity, and if I had the chance NOT to work, or work flexibly so I could have DS friends to tea, so we could go off and do stuff, i'd jump at the chance.

BackforGood · 11/08/2014 23:38

I think your idea of not working anymore, ScottishMummy, and mine, are very different. Also weatherall.

I've worked for the last 34 years (less 3 at college), and, quite frankly, I'd like time now to do even some of the things I've never had time to do, before I get too old and infirm to be able to do some of them. The reason it remains a fantasy for many of us, is because we wouldn't choose to do it without the income to sustain us - hence the talk of lottery wins.
Boredom certainly wouldn't come into it - there are just lists and lists of things I'd like to be able to do. Which, in turn, gives you reason to get out of bed, interesting things to talk about, lack of monotony, etc.
I wouldn't have wasted my education, as I've achieved a lot at work, and I know I'd be able to use some of those skills in my volunteering. So what you describe Weatherall is a long way from what my imagined early retirement would consist of.

equinox · 12/08/2014 06:09

Yes it would be so great to live off an independent income and not have to work in order to survive month on month! I would definitely spend time doing volunteer work plus probably study something like history of art and I would also do lots of piano playing and watching films and various exercise classes.

Unfortunately it is likely to just remain a dream .....!!

splendide · 12/08/2014 06:30

I like my job and normally don't resent it much but I've been struggling since I've been pregnant.

DH stays at home and I'm pretty jealous. I just want to nap and not have to stand on a train for an hour each way rather than do anything massively interesting/fulfilling at the moment.

NoodleOodle · 12/08/2014 06:58

I was just saying to a friend yesterday that it feels horrible to get out of bed in the cold, facing a dull journey, and stressful work day ahead, whilst db/dp/dh stays in bed, even rolling over into starfish position so there's not even the chance to steal back in between the sheets for an extra ten mins spooning in warmth.

sandgrown · 12/08/2014 07:18

Sorry Weatherall that sounds grim but when DP lost his job he seemed to relish being home and did do nothing except apply for a couple of jobs online. He has a job now but only temporary so no hope of me giving up work. I think I would be bored unless I had money go get out and do things but would like the choice!

bedraggledmumoftwo · 12/08/2014 08:07

I think the grass is greenest in the middle- around 2-3 days a week for intellectual stimulation and spare cash. I am on mat leave and we could afford for me to sahm, but i don't think i could face full time with the kids. But i think if i want to keep my job i have to go back full time, which is equally unappealing...

Ragwort · 12/08/2014 08:17

weatherall - that is a sweeping statement, 'not working' does not have to mean all that for some (fortunate) people - I was a SAHM for many years and none of those comments applied to me. . Well, perhaps being financially dependent on my DH applied but that was absolutely no problem at the time - I was no 1950s housewife, had equal access to our joint bank account and certainly only spent the minimum time doing housework - my life was far, far easier than my DH's. (yes, I know it would have been an issue if we had split up ).

I think you could also apply a lot of those comments to people who do work but don't have the 'enjoyment' of an interesting, stimulating job.

I know plenty of boring people who do incredibly boring jobs and still have nothing to talk about. .

I have returned to work (in my mid 50s ) and I honestly don't think it makes me any 'different or more interesting' - I am still the same person .

saintlyjimjams · 12/08/2014 08:54

Yes I want to stop as well. Especially at the moment where ds1's care package has gone pear shaped & there are literally not enough hours

Laquitar · 12/08/2014 09:08

Oh God if work was the only worthy readon to get out of bed and if work was the most interesting thing in my life to talk about i would want to shoot myself!

blueshoes · 12/08/2014 11:45

If you had to work for a living, wouldn't it be heaven to have a job that engages you, keeps your mind active, keeps women visible in the workplace and even do some greater good for society.

I don't subscribe to this idea that work must always be a drudge and something to be avoided.

chrome100 · 12/08/2014 12:08

I would LOVE to work part time. DP and I deliberately live in a cheap house in a cheap area and so, with cut backs, I could potentially afford to do it.

However, my employer won't let me. It's frustrating because most of my office are on compressed or part time hours but they have children. Because I don't my request was turned down.

I don't have it all bad though. I work 5 mins from home so am home and work 8-430, so am home by 430pm every day and have basically another 8 hours of day at my disposal. I would love just to go down to 4 days a week though, it would be my dream.

deepest · 12/08/2014 12:45

I see my little "sabbatical" as a temporary situation for a year (or 2). I have worked since I was 11, right through university and have had a demanding ft career reaching a very Sr position in a global company. I am 47 and exhausted - I look ahead to at least another 20+ years of work and just need to catch my breadth. Lots to do with 4 teenagers in the next few years and I will return to paid employment - and would like to take the opportunity to do something different.

I think the grass is always greener is sort of valid it is about W/L balance and this needs re-adjusting throughout our lives dependent on our financial needs, ages of our children -- and as has caught me out my OWN energy levels declining...and the needs of teenagers INCREASING!

I have also really lost and ambition I had (maybe I have achieved enough) - but I really would not want another promotion!!

Cherrypi · 12/08/2014 12:57

I really think everyone should be on a four day week by now. Why do we have to do five days?

BiscuitsAreMyDownfall · 12/08/2014 13:27

All these statements about wouldn't it be nice if work was something we enjoyed. Its just knowing what to do. I think that's a big barrier.

Oh how I wished I knew what I wanted to be when I grow up, but I don't. I'm currently in a job where i can earn a decent wage, lots of chance to progress which i think i can do. I just find it incredibly boring so long for a life at home.

Wish i could start over, but don't have the financial means to do so.

BackforGood · 12/08/2014 16:38

Thing is, as jobs go, I do actually enjoy mine. It's just that I've done it (and previous jobs) for long enough. I have lots of friends who are retired and I look at them and think "that's a lifestyle I could enjoy". It's not boring in anyway, it just takes up too much of the week! (and I only work PT )

MinimalistMommi · 12/08/2014 17:41

I'm lucky enough to be at home full time and I never get bored, so none of you are being unreasonable at all to wish you had more time at home. When the children are at school I get to potter around, drink tea, read and get the laundry on, sort dinner etc.

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