to wish I didn't have to work

[superbagpuss]

and I was independently wealthy

there are so many things I would like to do, charity work, further study, jobs that don't pay well but sound interesting

I am the main wage earner so need to work but I'm getting bored in my current occupation. I always planned a career change - to become a lecturer in my chosen field, but have no idea how to do this and the internet talks about retraining which as a family we can't afford for me to do.

what's more annoying is dh got to go on a free course to learn about teaching and now he's not sure he will go for as job doing that

I just want to sell up, buy a remote house in the countryside with a bit of land and raise chickens, make jam, grow veg and make handicrafts to sell at fairs - plus I'll have a couple dogs to take for long country walks. In the winter I'll be sitting by the open fire reading.

this is my retirement plan pooh! Oh well, only 30 more years

YANBU

I quit to SAH from DC2 onwards and been home 15 years. 5 of those studying OU degree. I love it and never get bored (all are at school now). However people do look down on you (doesn't bother me most the time), there is the money and pension worries etc etc. You never know when you may need or want to work again and with a big gap it is tough to get back into work. So either way there are worries!!

I've just had a few months off work between jobs and it's been utterly delightful. Lots of travelling, seeing friends, getting on with house stuff, reading, learning a language, spending time with the godchildren... what bliss. Now back to the treadmill for another 30 years...

Me too. I have worked for the past 30 years and gone back to work part time since each of my 4 kids were 6 months old. I've worked nights and weekends to avoid large childcare bills but feel I've missed out on a lot by being permanently knackered and not being around at wekends since all my kids reached school age. I also work in avery stressful job and now my kids are reaching teenage years I just invisage things getting a whole lot more stressful and I already feel burnt out. I'm approaching my late fortiesand have possibly twenty more working years left. my biggest fear is the thought of having to work full time to get (possibly) 4 kids through Uni.

Lapsed - Why does part time swallow up your dh's wages but not part time?

Generally part time is proportionally better:-

Proportionately less tax
Childcare vouchers covers greater proportion
15 free hours (when applicable) covers greater proportion.

Sorry if I've missed something obvious!

I fantasise about being a 50's /stepford housewife
Oh for my biggest issue to be what to cook for tea
I am in a successful sat paced career with a good salary and main earner in family but sometimes just sometimes my brain and more to point hamster in a wheel life gets on top if me!!

Me too. In a years time dd will be at nursery and I am giving up my job (childminder) to concentrate on my cake business.
I make birthday/wedding cakes in the evenings so at the moment I work 7.30am-10.30pm. I'm trying to build up the cake business over
the next year but it is a hard slog.
So from September next year I will have 9-2.30 at home by myself to do my cakes and then the rest of the afternoon/evening with the children.
I can't wait! I don't suppose I will have cakes every day so I will have some free days and the flexibility to work in the evenings if I have more to do.
I will also potter in the garden, cook nice meals and go for walks on the beach. Or I might just watch tv!

I'm on six weeks summer holiday right now, and loving doing my bit of pottering, indulging in hobbies, long days on the beach and having a spotless house. I genuinely don't understand people like my DP, who has three consecutive days off once in a blue moon and gets bored. HOW?! There's so much to dooo!

Babyroobs I am a few years down the line from you but with just two DSs. I did the evenings and weekends for much of their childhood and now work fifty hours a week. DS1 not that long out of uni and living home to save to set up with his GF. DS2 hopefully off to uni next year.

I dream of what my days would be like. Housework and Gym in the morning. Shopping and visiting/helping my elderly parents in the afternoons before cooking delicious evening meals and then relaxing with DP.

Instead I cram everything into the evenings and weekends getting nothing done satisfactorily and an too knackered to go out.

Me too. Have a sort of all or nothing job and have battled on for years to reach a senior position where women are seriously under represented so don't feel I can throw in the towel.

Juniors keep asking how I've managed it but I think one look at my worn out whey face should say it all and they haven't seen the chaotic tip of a house and semi feral children

I regularly fantasise / day dream about being able to retire.
I've got it all worked out, how much I'd need to win even though I don't even buy a lottery ticket and how I'd spend it.
There's more to life than work, and I'm not sure I could really fit it in to a normal length retirement.

Me too, especially today sending kids to holiday club would rather be with them. Work from home it is lonely and boring. Could still pay bills if didn't work but no activities for kids, holidays etc and that would end up getting me down prob!

It was about fifteen years ago when I read a sentence in Tom Hodgkinson's How to be Idle and something clicked in my brain. Paraphrasing, he wrote "and incidentally, why do we want jobs anyway? They're horrible things." I realised that I wasn't the only person in the world who absolutely hated going to work, the repetition, the drudgery, the office politics, the utter tedium of being forced to spend hours of your life doing utterly pointless tasks. I knew what I wanted, to earn enough to live but to have the freedom to spend a decent amount of time doing what I wanted to do. Fifteen years later, after a lot of hard work, I've finally achieved that :)

Anyway, recommended reading for those who want to break free:

Tom Hodgkinson - How to be Idle
George Marshall - Get Out While You Can (ignore the latter half as it focuses on affiliate marketing and it's now very dated advice)
Marianne Cantwell - How to be a Free Range Human

It's one thing to wish for a different life - but you only have this one life - and it's short. If you truly want a different way of life, start working out how you can make that happen.

Well I don't work, but I would like to be rich

Me too. At 35 Im already looking forward to retirement.

Ive recently got scared because I dont want to look back and say I wish I had done that, but I dont know what that is.

I don't work, not really possible to get a job that fits in with the DCs and DH's long/unpredictable hours. Lucky to be able to afford not to have to, for now.

Over the past 5 years I definitely have been through the loss-of-identity/depression cycle, mixed in with a dollop of energy-zapping ill-health. Now starting the long process of dragging myself out of it. Wish I could find a job that is 3 days a week in a field that I enjoy.

The grass is always greener on the other side.

I work for myself, from home, and it's absolute heaven. I could never go back to 8 hours a day (plus commuting) 5 days a week. I did it for 20 years and that was more than enough.

I feel the same. I would love not to work. I hate during the summer dropping my child to summer camps even if she does love them. I would love days of just doing what we wanted, having loads of play dates. I could so fill my days.

Sleep dodger - I'm with you on the 50's housewife thing. I would love that.

Christ, if I didn't have to work, there's no way that I would. I never ever get bored at home, and I don't particularly have to do anything 'improving' while I'm there to make myself happy - there are books to be read, there is music to be listened to - Christ, there are books to be written if I only had the time (o yes I have such plans). I never understand these people who say they couldn't not-work; I'd do it in a fucking heartbeat.

I hate during the summer dropping my child to summer camps

Me too. It has always felt wrong for my child to be on holiday and me not to spend it with him. Ho hum.

Even if i were super wealthy id work.Kids still attend summer activities,just fancier
Id work for myself,id donate,id enjoy the absolute freedom of solvency
And when waning or bored we'd all fly off in the jet lake como,or nz

Your the main wage earner? Stuck in a boring job? But you can't afford to leave? Welcome to equality!

I'm joking of course!

Lapsed you have a skewed perspective that youre resentful dh doesn't keep you as housewife
If you expect to hate working ft.you will.if you expect childcare to be mediocre,it will be
You see you'll not allow your self fulfilling prophecy to deviate from your resentful prediction

No womanis entitled to prosperous partner,or to expect to be maintained as housewife

like other kids of working parents,your kids will be fine.so long as you lay off the violin

Hands off the winning lottery ticket. I have plans for it. They involve baking bread and "doing lunch. "

Hands off the winning lottery ticket. I have plans for it. They involve baking bread and "doing lunch. "