Swimming pool and a 5 year old......

[cathpip]

Well my dh thinks i am being over cautious and a dick! We are on holiday, villa and shared pool. My ds (5) likes to collect the zoggs from the bottom of the pool, he can swim 10/15 metres but does predominantly like to be underwater and really only surfacing for air :). In total there are 4 children all jumping in and out of the pool, other parents are there watching too. My dh thinks it's perfectly safe to read a book and look up every so often to check on our ds, I think it's not safe to read and keep an eye on him at the same time. So who is right, who is wrong or is there a suitable middle ground. (He's managed to read two books by the pool so far). :(

How often is he looking up and checking on your ds?

It only takes a second for him to fall or bang his head etc.

He sounds confident in the water which I guess is why your dh is relaxed?

But really you do need to be watching.

Presumably no lifeguard present?

I would watch without reading. At 5 he is probably small and could get knocked out by someone else or on the wall accidentally. The others will only be watching 'their' children.

Absolutely not. At a non life guarded pool they need constant supervissupervision. Have you both seen clips about silent drowning?i

No chance, I have only just started reading books while I watch my 10 and 8 year olds who are both pretty competent swimmers, it is too easy to get drawn in by the book and realise you haven't looked up for several minutes.

If kids are little, then you all need to be watching your own children, or by specific agreement with another parent. And by watching, I mean, eyes on the pool, not on phone/book/other people outside the pool.

When children are older and confident swimming properly, then one adult can supervise, but again, thats proper watching with a specific handover

You are right - he should be watched at all time. Drowning is apparently very silent. And having the intention to look up regularly while you're reading sounds okay until you get distracted or get to a really gripping bit of your book and forget.

It isn't worth the risk - and I am usually one of the first to tell people they are being over cautious.

No, one parent alert at all times

I think that as long as you are right there its ok to be reading as long as its not a particularly engrossing book personally. Not if the other kids are very wild, not at a very busy, large pool where you might take a moment to locate him if you looked away, but in a small villa pool its ok imo. Depends whether you are mainly reading and occassionally remembering to watch, or mainly watching but reading a bit as hours of watching 1 child who osn't interacting with you is very dull

I'd be watching like a lifeguard would. He shouldn't be splitting his attention. He can't be concentrating on your ds if he's reading.

Your Ds might be an able swimmer but he's still only 5. Sorry to say this but drowning kids don't make much of a noise.

I'm so pleased I'm not the only one who would be watching my child continuously. Yes small villa pool, no life guard, he is the youngest in the pool. Muggins here is sat with a 4.5 month baby on her knee watching ds's every move whilst hubby is reading, and he does not look up regularly and he also does get very engrossed in his books..........(not posting whilst watching as this was earlier today!)

Been there! Tell hubby to get in pool with son.

Yes I would insist that one adult has to keep an eye on him. Why not say to him that you have done your share with both today, plonk baby on his lap tomorrow and tell him it's his turn.

I think he needs to be extra vigilant if your child likes to be under water a lot, as it's hard to tell the difference between a child swimming underwater and a child in trouble under water. I agree with other posters also that kid who is drowning doesn't trash around and make drowning noticeable, it's quiet and can be mistaken for messing around.

You can't read and watch a kid of that age in the pool.

Book reading needs to be taken in turns.

I would prob read a bit also tbh. Isn't there 4+ other adults also watching? I would just make sure I looked up every time I turned page at least

We have 3 and 4 year olds and if by side of pool one of us will sit with legs in pool with kindle and the other relaxes fully on sunbed. Tbh the majority of the time we are in pool with them also but sometimes they want to stay in and we let them now. Mine aren't allowed to dive down though if we aren't in the pool.
Both have been swimming well since just 2 years so almost 2 years for youngest and almost 3 years oldest. They are strong swimmers ( have swam/ in pool virtually daily since weeks old). They were stronger swimmers than most adults we were away with recently.

Can you compromise and say read but at side of pool ie legs in for adult watching, and that 5 year old swims and plays but doesn't dive down without adult in pool

Put down that book, DH!

Most definitely, put that book down, DH.
My daughter works as a lifeguard in a public pool, and she absolutely cannot believe the number of people who let their children go off on their merry way. At her pool, all children MUST be accompanied by an adult AT ALL TIMES until (I think) around age 8, even if a competent swimmer. She was telling me just yesterday the number of rescues she and her colleagues have had to do just recently, simply because the accompanying adult is not paying attention.

It takes seconds for a young child to get into difficulty.
Anyway - isn't that the idea of going on holiday with your children: to spend quality time with them? You can read your book in bed at night, or when the children are older and able to do their own thing.
I love to read a book by the pool now, but when they were little it would never have crossed my mind (unless we were in a big group and all the adults were taking turns).

Audio books were fabulous when ours were little.

If he has read two books, it must be his turn to have baby on his knee & watch your son?

Perhaps your son could do a bit less of the underwater as well to make the watching easier?

It can happen so quickly though.

DH does not read her can watch while I read.

A 5 year old in a pool needs supervising.

A child drowned in a hotel pool where we staying once.The boy who was 4 was holidaying with extended family in a busy pool, and all the adults thought someone else was watching the children.

Your husband is being a dick and very cavallier with his child's safety.

You two need to agree who holds the baby/entertains DS so you both get some time with a book/to sleep.

I'm a swimming teacher and would never advocate what your dh is suggesting. My dd is 5 and can swim 150m and I have just started reading by the pool - dd1 is 9 and has done life saving and she is normally with her.

Drowning is silent and takes less time than your dh can read a page of his book. Your ds might bang his head, get cramp, become disoriented or get stuck under an inflatable, any of which might result in horrific consequences. Take it in turns to watch, is it really worth risking a child's life to read a book?

Maybe it's just time for your DH to do something else, not by the pool with DS with other children around.
Or just hang out with the baby in the shade so you and DS can have some one-on-one time?

Watch like a hawk.