Social events, why are people so fickle?

[Vintagecrap]

Its just so very frustrating.
I ( as part of a tiny team of 3 ) organised a big work summer party. Had to do it on the cheap, so we worked really hard and put a lot of our own work in making things like stocks, and coconut shys by hand.

Last years summer party wasnt well attended, maybe 25 people went at a cost of £2K. Feedback was that it was too expensive £5 to go and they had to buy their own drinks, that they couldnt bring anyone and that it was too drink centered. Work sets up a team of people o deal with this, we take it on board and organise a big family friendly party for free where people can bring their own booze if they want.
Attendance was better, but only because the people that did come brought people with them. 75% of people that said they were coming did not turn up. We have lost tons of money as we had paid for catering for the people who said they were coming.

Its incredibly annoying.

Same as if you organise a night out, sure as anything somone will pull out at the last moment and you will be left wondering if you should just cancel the whole thing.

I don't understand OP. How can people be forced to have a summer and Christmas party which you say are "non negotiable?" and that you "have to do?"

It all sounds very odd to me.

So if nobody goes, the owners/senior managers just sit there grinning into space do they? Who is saying it is "non negotiable?"

Forced fun can be dire.

I used to work for a company that would organise a lot of this kind of thing. The summer party in work time was actually quite good and well attended - well it would be as we didn't have to give up our own time.

But they would sometimes organise charity fund raising things. These would hardly ever be straight forward collections or coffee mornings or whatever but would always have to be something that was supposed to be "a laugh". E.g. paying 2 for the privilege of going to work in some mad costume or paying 5 per team to enter some daft obstacle course race where you would make a complete tit of yourself. If they didn't get many participants the organisers would moan about people not wanting to help the charity. They just couldn't see that they would have raised two or three times as much if they just sent round the hat and left people alone instead of trying to force them to join in something awful.

Its a nationwide company, its set by head office, its not even something that is decided at branch level. I dont even think it matters how many attend, just that there is a party held, meeting their ' investing in people, promoting a happy workplace' tick box.

sticking some money behind a bar would probably just be the easiest thing to do, but again, i can see people who dont like that sort of thing, complaining. You really cant win.

There is nothing that can be held in work time, due to the nature of the job, its just not possible.

There is also a wide range of ages working there, from 16 up to 65, which also makes it quite hard.

Get the Happyness drummers in or someone similar. Never known anyone not love this. Do it as a 'twilight' after work.

I have booked my annual leave to coincide with our work staff summer day out. My idea of utter hell, bus trip, forced to take part in activities and then get pissed. I can imagine nothing worse.

Our work do (annual black tie event, sit down dinner) is paid for by the company on the basis that if you say you are coming, then don't, the cost of your place is deducted from your next month's salary (you agree to this by confirming you will attend). Exceptions for e.g. sickness on the day, but it means pretty much 99% of the folk who say they are coming turn up and the cost of catering etc is not wasted.

I'm in two minds, as a teacher, whether I'm relieved that we have no 'morale boosting' socialising or away days to contend with, or a bit pissed off that the only paid for perk we get is a bland tuna wrap and a bottle of water of a parents' evening. Suppose we should think ourselves lucky that we get that ??

I'm not surprised about this. The forced company things are often pretty dire. I once had to attend a very posh murder mystery lunch where most other guests were from overseas and either didn't speak English or spoke it very much as a second language. Most people didn't have a clue what was happening.

If I were doing this type of thing I would suggest selling hugely discounted tickets to a popular event such as Matilda or Silverstone or The Summer Exhibition (or whatever...). Something that some people will actually want to go to. Then people will be motivated to buy tickets. Once you have your numbers they you can arrange a room/tent for a casual lunch/drinks thing. It would still work out cheaper and you could be more sure of your numbers. I would also be a LOT more realistic about the possible numbers who would attend.

My first choice would be to cancel the summer event completely and move the Xmas event to January/February when people's calendars are less hectic and venue and venue hire is much cheaper. A 'winter' event sounds good to me.

Blimey Lapsed - you work for a generous school - I've never had a tuna wrap (or any other kind of sarnie) provided at Parents Evening - nor water, come to that.

I work in a cAll centre where morale is pretty low, on most campaigns they don't even pay living wage and staff turnover is high. They also do summer and Christmas parties that you have to pay entry for and you only get one free drink. WTAF? People can't bloody afford it (a quite a few of the people who work there part time are technically homeless and can only afford to live on a friend's couch etc) and don't want to go. It's a bloody cheek.

Full time, I meant

same sort of thing, low wage, highish turnover.
Cost is a big deal to most people, some are really skint, some work there as its a nice job and their other half supports them, lots live at home and have a big disposable income.

hence the event being free, and maybe costing about £5 if you joned in with some activites, which you didnt have to. We were trying to cater to everyone and make it accessable.

Same happens at most parties people say yes and accept as it sounds a good idea but then when the time comes , can't be bothered or have made other plans/can't afford it. (although I appreciate there was no cost involved in yours)
Also in a big company you sometimes find if X says he isn't going then Y and Z decide it isn't worth the bother either.
Also and I know you went on previous feedback , but sometimes if something is 'free' to attend and quite large scale then people don't value it.They don't see it as letting a particular person down -it is just a 'work' do which will be on whether they go or not.
If it was a meal or activity that people had to pay a deposit for or had paid for a ticket for they tend to see it through where to some people if the company puts on a free summer day out they think that it won't really matter if they don't turn up as it isn't costing them anything not to go and they think no one will notice if they give it a miss-obviously when the majority do this it is very costly and very noticeable for the organisers.
I feel for you as you obviously put in a lot of effort but I think sadly for this is there is no answer -you just can't please everyone.

Work socialising is so awful. I can't bear it. I'm a very private person and never let my hair down etc with people from work. It causes too many problems afterwards IMHO. Also I don't get many nights out and when I do I don't want it to be with work.

I was very senior in one role and really had to go to these things or it would look bad. I always got a 'headache' early on and went home. I'm sure that no one really wants to socialise with their boss, so I figured that worked for all of us.

You need a deposit to go.

Even if the company actually pays for the event.

If you turn up, you get a refund, if you don't no refund.

Then you know how many to cater for, and there is an incentive to turn up, rather than waste everyone's time by no showing...

do something with the budget so people don't have to pay extra.

maybe you need to do something more simple?

We do 'monthly company do's'. They tend to be on a friday afternoon and can be anything from a hog roast at the office to bowling/pizzas etc. If people don't want to come then they stay in the office and work their normal hours.

Not everyone wants to drink so we do try to do a variety of things but you can't please everyone.

We also do a summer and christmas party - but the summer one was just a boat trip in work hours and people had the choice not to attend.

Christmas one is nice dinner and drinks - again optional.

But we're a fairly young company where the majority like to do social stuff. When we've tried to offer stuff for partners/family - people haven't wanted it.

Oh and we cover the costs for all of ours, but also do beers/drinks down the pubs on us pretty frequently too.

I wonder if just some beers in the office at 5pm on a Friday might work better - so the ones who want to go out just carry on after. Those that don't want to - well they just go home at 5.30pm or whatever.

I'd just make it more low key and optional I guess.

My work does this kind of thing and I hate it.I don't want to spend all day with people and then have to socialise with them too (although they are perfectly nice).I'd rather be home with my family.

Twice in a year is one too many for a big company event. I go to our Christmas do because it's paid for and starts at lunchtime ( I even went on my day off) - I wouldn't bother going if I had to fork out for it.

I can see agreeing to go to a summer thing and then changing my mind at the weekend or being outvoted by DH and DS about what they want to do.

Something more casual and if possible in work time is more likely to get people to come. A new buffet restaurant has opened up beside our office and as I was keen to go I set up a lunchtime invite - within about half an hour 12 out of 15 people had accepted the invite, even though they have to pay for it themselves. Make the events smaller and less onerous to get to - oh and free or low cost if possible. mrscampbellblack has some good ideas.

one of the biggest problems is the working hours. 6 out of 7 days a week the working day starts at 6am and finishes at 9pm.

its only on a sunday that people all finish by 5.

We arent allowed to do events when people are working as its deliberatley excluding them, so they have to be on a sunday evening. Because its a sunday evening most people dont want to go.

trying to do something simple for potentially 120 people is really hard. We looked at just having a big picnic in a local park, and providing hte food, but you arent allowed to to that and have to have all sorts through the council, plus if people get drunk ( and lots of people are young) then that will reflect badly on the company.

this last event was 3 roads away from work, with free parking too, cant really make it less onerous than that.

also, its not an office job, there is no way things can be done in work time as it would be shutting the whole business down for the entire day, which understanably, isnt going to happen.

(Anyone else wondering if this is one of those tax break social budget non negotiable things? )

I'm guessing a lot of people said yes they'd come when you asked them at work, and then on the morning of the do woke up and thought wtf am I doing going to this bollox, I'm off to have fun with my mate Barry who's having a BBQ on this lovely day.

Yabu making coconut shy things