Social events, why are people so fickle?

[Vintagecrap]

Its just so very frustrating.
I ( as part of a tiny team of 3 ) organised a big work summer party. Had to do it on the cheap, so we worked really hard and put a lot of our own work in making things like stocks, and coconut shys by hand.

Last years summer party wasnt well attended, maybe 25 people went at a cost of £2K. Feedback was that it was too expensive £5 to go and they had to buy their own drinks, that they couldnt bring anyone and that it was too drink centered. Work sets up a team of people o deal with this, we take it on board and organise a big family friendly party for free where people can bring their own booze if they want.
Attendance was better, but only because the people that did come brought people with them. 75% of people that said they were coming did not turn up. We have lost tons of money as we had paid for catering for the people who said they were coming.

Its incredibly annoying.

Same as if you organise a night out, sure as anything somone will pull out at the last moment and you will be left wondering if you should just cancel the whole thing.

Those involved in the organising got our own friends and familys involved, people who might have had access to equptment, or had skills like they were in a band. people helped out as they were wanting to support us i guess.

it wont be happening again.

Ive sort of relayed this all back and said we need to have a meeting with management about this going forward as clearly it isnt working as is a massive waste of time and money.

It all sounds like 'forced fun' and a complete waste of time.

I agree people shouldn't say their going and then drop out, but is there an element of feeling forced to accept?

If management are putting pressure on workers to organise it, are they also putting pressure on people to attend?

I'm confused, did you spend £2000 or £400 this year? Another one who doesn't get why people had to work so hard in giving up a lot of their free time.

Why must you have these two parties a year? Why?

£400 this year, £2000 last year ( wasnt organised by us)

i think there is very much an element of forced fun about it. I didnt go last year, couldnt htink of anything worse. I was told by management that they think of work as their second family and i should do the same and want to be there. I said no.

That same person that said that to me, did not attend this year, i quoted his own saying back at him and laughed and made a joke out of it, and he said that his prioritys had chnaged and he needed family time.

can win, people are fickle.

If people had been honest and said they werent coming we would have pulled the event, we were very close to doing so, but then people started saying they were coming.
which is why its a bit more frustrating

I feel for you OP. I work for a big company and they are always putting on events, these HAVE to be done. We have small committies for the different departments and we have to do something every couple of months, it is one of the companys targets and they have to be done even if nobody wants them.

People are not interested. They dont want to buy cakes, or come in to work in their pj's, or dress in red white and blue for the World Cup, or dress in gold for the olympics, or red nose day or dress up for halloween. I dont want to do it but I am roped into a committe also.

Its ok for people on this thread to say "Well dont do it", we dont have a choice, the company has decided they want something to be put every couple of months and we have to do it. If the committies said no then the managers would be lumped into doing it instead, or random people picked off the desks to do it.

It is now part of our appraisals to give ideas to the committies and to help get them actioned.

It is just a tick in the box for the company to polish their "we invest in our people" badge but dont give a crap if anybody wants it or not.

For the poor sods that do have to organise it is a huge waste of time.

I agree with what others have said. If they want employees to socialise, bond and feel more like a team, they need to think of better ways to do it. Eg - coffee machine and tables in office kitchen, smaller departmental lunches/dinners/drinks/away days, charity fundraising day during office hours.

An anonymous survey might bring put some ideas

I agree with mrsDavidBowie I'm afraid. Why get annoyed? Just don't bother in future. Have a meal out instead.

i think there is very much an element of forced fun about it. I didnt go last year, couldnt htink of anything worse. I was told by management that they think of work as their second family and i should do the same and want to be there. I said no.

Yet, you're annoyed that people didn't want to come to the one you organised.

If you have to organise it again, put minimal effort in and none of your free time. It has already dwindled from lavish £2k to less lavish £400 so hopefully next year it may die off all together.

Last year was the first one, it was a washout.

So, probably naivety, we thought if we took the feedback from last year, gave people what they said they wanted, that they would come.

Im annoyed as ive given up hours of my own time, and im talking 20 hours plus, to put on something that people said they were coming to, and then they didnt turn up. I would have rather have pulled the event. We had a meeting about pulling the event, that how close it got. I didnt get home till 11pm last night, i worked from 8-2, then set up the party, hosted it, then cleared up. So, yes, its annoying.

It's a non-starter isn't it? Why not suggest the company gives the money it has budgeted for the party to a local charity instead? The directors can have their photo taken for the local paper and get a bit of free advertising to boot.

If the people organising something can't be bothered to go themselves, wny would anyone else want to? Perhaps your employers should put something on in work hours, say afternoon into evening, if they feel the need to do it and also to encourage attendance. Anyone who really doesn't want to go can then book the day off as holiday instead.

Badly I would actually find another job rather than work for a company that behaved like that if at all possible. Because it is appallingly bad business practice and more damaging to staff morale than doing nothing would be.

What Infinity said on the first page.

Totally agree it's rude to not reply, and even ruder to accept and then not turn up to something

but
I don't understand the concept of having to have a works party. Work is where you go because it pays the mortgage. You can't then force people to want to give up their non-working time to come and mingle in some forced fun with people they know because they do the same job as them.

If you must have a work party and people must attend, you should have it during working hours.

I work for a large company that does this. The booze is free, the food is free, the entertainment (fairground stuff and band later) is free. They even lay on transport from office to venue and guess what, attendance is still low.

oh dear, one of those companies who's management think every works there because they love the company so much , rather than they need a job to pay the bills and this one's not bad .

If they want this to work (and even doing all this it still may not get many takers) it needs to happen in work time (or at least on a workday evening, not the weekend), the people arranging it should be doing it as part of their job, in work time, not their free time, and it needs to be free. I have never been to a work party like this I've had to pay for, sod that for a lark.

I have worked for a company that did summer and Christmas parties, but there were a lot of young people in their 20s working there, it would be in central London, it would be free, and for the summer party there might be slebs. Getting twatted at your employer's expense on the rooftop of Soho House? Marvellous .

I once worked for a company that spent £350 per head on the Christmas do. Yep, per person! It was a Friday night party in a country house. It had a very specific dress code that would have required most people to buy a new outfit that would have been hard to use again. Firm also required everyone to stay over at the venue in shared rooms. You weren't allowed to leave until the Saturday morning at 11. Pressure to attend was enormous. I refused to go as I had a longstanding and paid for commitment on the Saturday. My refusal to attend did not go down well and I was told it could impact on my appraisal.

I didn't go. I didn't want to go. Most people did go but a lot dropped out near the time as although it was free they just didn't want to. I worked in finance and I'd say about 80-85% of the staff came and asked me why they couldn't just have say £200 as a Christmas bonus and then the company would have saved money and the staff would have been more appreciative. I told them to discuss it with HR as it wasn't a finance decision.

People tend to arrange the work do that they actually want - eg drinks with their team/friends and often resent enforced ones. And it usually has little reflection on whether it's a good employer - my £350 per head Xmas party company was a terrible employer.

I get pressured into agreeing to attend work social events. All social events are my idea of hell (love my job and my colleagues but no interest in them outside work) so I don't turn up. I don't have friends outside of work either as prefer to be alone.

I think people are "fickle" about social events because they are what they are - unimportant in the general scheme of things. Generally they seem to be a load of people pretending they want to spend time in each others company. I have to go to work every day, and I am also happy to give up as much time as necessary outside of my contracted hours for work purposes but not for socialising.

We have a Christmas party in work time every year, so I book that day off.

And you cannot force people to attend a party situation. My anxiety would get the better of me (in fact, it did last year when I had to attend an event in work time and ending up sat in a spare office throwing up for an hour!).

I was employed because of my abilities to do my job, not because I can perform in a social setting.

free event - I'll go

Drinks and a meal with colleagues I like, in a bar we've chosen, at a time that suits us - I'll do that too.

but I wouldn't pay for the privilege of attending a work event, and if there's excessive pressure to attend I can envisage saying I would come just to stop people mithering me.

Luckily I work for the NHS/local council, and neither has funds for so much as a cup of coffee and a biscuit at training events any more, never mind paid-for events.

400 behind the bar or a drinks trolley and nibbles at work during working hours

Unless you have a very "young" and sociable office environment most people just don't want to come. They have enouigh to do in their personal lives which to be fair, is why you resent the wasted effort so much.

This has reminded me of a previous employer - a large and good one, generally - that every year laid on an Xmas do in a local venue, so taxis or even buses were options for the vast majority of people. I never went, not my thing.

Then they decided every year to do a big summer do. They took over an entire hotel (and good ones) for a Saturday night, so all accommodation was paid for for employee and a partner, huge dinner on the Saturday night and laid on coaches to take people who didn't want to drive. I never went to those either. Someone in management darkly hinted it would reflect on my career prospects if I didn't go.

Bollocks did it. Within two years I was the youngest assistant manager in the history of the company.

I am very social and enjoy socialising. However, I very rarely go to work dos.

Our corporate events got scrapped in the end as attendance and interest was poor.

You try questionnaires and very few fill them in, then moan that events aren't catered for them when something is decided on.

It seemed unless there is a free/ heavily subsidized bar, food and transport home then people aren't interested lol!