fucking selfish childfree friend

[RedErik]

I was supposed to be meeting my friend at 8 for a night out and catch up as we've not seen each other for ages.

I was out with the 7 year old until 5, I've helped to make dinner, cleaned up, tried to feed the baby twice, got the baby to bed, expressed some milk for baby, got ready to go out for 8pm.

I'm a bit reluctant to about leaving baby as he's poorly and not really feeding very well but arranged this night out a while ago and looking forward to it.

Friend texted me at 7.30 to say she was running late and would 8.30 be ok. I said fine, she's still not bloody here (she's picking me up in a taxi).

I wouldn't mind be she has no fucker else to look after but herself, she's probably just been fannying about with her outfit or something.

And I wanted to get back kind of earlyish ie. 11pm not 1pm so I could try to feed the baby before bed.

She has form for this sort of thing, but I always forgive her because of course she doesn't appreciate what it's like having kids. I'm just VERY ANNOYED ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhh

Had this often with a friend not realizing how difficult it was to get away ,and how much I actually looked forward to it as it was such a rarity. Would plan a night out ,maybe dinner and a film and then get cancelled on last minute. Obviously to him it probably wouldn't have been such a big deal if id done the same to him as he could re arrange anytime ,and probably does it every week. But ,for me ,it was my opportunity to be myself ,and not a mother.

Im glad im not the friend of op, she sounds like the fucking selfish one, give your mate a break!!

And some mothers think that having kids gives them a divine right to be late/ let people down/superior/ not pay their share. Happily not all of them.

I am a mother. I was child free. The problems are just different that's all.

Selfish people don't suddenly become unselfish when they have kids. And lovely, generous, considerate people stay that way, whether they have kids or not.

YABU

Derek - oh how I do miss those kind of nights. I can't do it now I am a single mum with only a reluctant mum as a babysitter.

EatShitDerek The rare night out I have tends to be alcohol free as I really can't afford to risk my licence. So I tend to only drink when I know I have the next day off.

Although I'd love to know what hangovers feel like as I don't get them, no matter if I drink enough to sink a battleship.

I don't think you have nothing to do if you don't have kids. People without kids have their own responsibilities. That's the kind of thinking that all the parents have around here when they block whole roads up morning and afternoon. Apparently yellow zigzags don't apply once you have kids - who knew?

Anyway I don't think you are BU for being furious at her being over an hour late. Unless she has a very good reason (although in most situations I can't imagine not being able to send a quick text). Lateness absolutely pisses me off beyond measure I'm afraid. I had a friend who constantly did this - were talking 1-2 hours late for everything (neither of us had kids) I find if offensive that my time is seen as so unimportant I can sit around for 2 hours waiting for someone. Sometimes she never turned up at all. I dumped her. Couldn't be bothered. Last time I had sat all ready waiting for an hour to go out and she them let me know she wasn't coming out I never spoke to her again.

No, you don't have nothing to do if you don't have kids, but you don't have the extra stuff to do that parents have. I think with some nostalgia back to my child-free days where I could start my 'going out' preparation around 4pm, listening to music, drinking a glass of wine, painting my toenails, waiting for them to dry, trying on a million different outfits etc. Now, on the other hand, its cooksuperviseeatingwashupbathtimequickstoryloadsofkissesquickrunroundwiththehoovergetoutsnacksforthebabysitter all done in the space of 15 minutes while I miraculously transform myself into a vision of loveliness by picking up and wearing random bits of clothing that aren't too badly stained and doing my make-up in 5 seconds flat with my bionic third arm that isn't taken up with seeing to my son. It is different.

You still have to do the whole dinner/bath/bed thing though, don't you? I mean, my babysitters are great but I wouldn't ask them to do that. And unforch all of that happens at exactly the same time as you need to be getting ready to go ou.