To believe that no one can have ever possibly enjoyed the beach?

[Happybeard]

I've avoided the beach since taking my then 4 and 11 year old who are now 8 and 14. I had thought that four years was long enough to have recovered from the trauma and was actually looking forward to it but having now been here for an hour can't think of a single thing that is remotely enjoyable... The stickiness, the sand EVERYWHERE no decent toilets, the sun making you sleepy but you having no chance to close your eyes in case your children drown. Plus am hideously over weight this time so am fully clothed.
Am looking around and everyone else looks miserable too. Why do we do this???

There are are beaches and beaches. Nice firm yellow sand that's good for digging and sandcastles, shallow slope and tame waves, and sandbars so you get little pools as the tide goes out - perfect. Sunny but not too hot, no wind, ice cream van and toilets and you have a great day. I just love it when the kids get into a big group to dig moats and channels to the water as the tide comes in, and the adults get sucked in too.

Strong waves, anxiety-inducing rocks that kids are desperate to climb on, horrible dogs, crappy sand, rotting dead seagulls, no facilities, nasty sand fleas hopping everywhere, windy so sand constantly in your face and picnic - yuk.

First find the right beach, then improve things by taking a mini tent to shelter/change/chuck stuff in, a really nice picnic complete with properly iced cool bag, wine, hat and shades, wipes, kitchen roll and suncream, and plenty of towels or those towelling beach cover-up things for when kids get cold in the water.

You have to give up on the idea of getting a break before you go (unless you have other adults to do the supervising).

We live near the beach so when we go we dress in clothes that can get wet, and plastic shoes, then just have a huge pile of old towels in the car for the way home.
We sally forth from the car park to the water, splosh about to our hearts content, then just go home damp when we've had enough
It's the planning and packing and carting loads of stuff all around the place that makes it miserable. Just arriving, paddling, messing about collecting shells or rockpooling for a bit, then going home to a clean bathroom, clean clothes and a fridge full of nice food makes it all much better

I hate the beach you are not alone! I hate sand the water is filfthy and eugh I just hate everything about it.

Ynbu can't stand the beach, constant sun cream applications, sticky hands. Wind blows sand stuck to newly creamed skin. Sweaty, sand everywhere. Noisy people, did I mention sand everywhere? Go home with crunchy flip flops because even though you've washed and dried feet SAND GETS EVERYWHERE! I hate bloody sand!!

I love the beach. I go to a very quiet beach so I can just sit and watch the DC

Why is the lack of toilet facilities a problem? Thats what the sea is for! Unless its a poo, nobody likes a floater.

My 4yo DD always needs a poo, wherever we go. Especially likely to happen whenever there is no toilet to hand, yes morningside Waitrose I'm looking at you.

I live by the sea. Love the beach. Our beach is pebbles with breakwaters and its not too busy. I hate sandy beaches with hoardes of peopleand having to stake out your little square. Not being able to relax for fear of losing sight of the kids. Enough sand patches to make a sand castles is all you need.

Op you just need to go to different beaches. I

I feel your pain, OP. I am typing from the comfort of my holiday home garden whilst PIL entertain DCs on beach. I managed two short periods last week, but I just sat there grinding my teeth. I detest it. The sand. The sandworms. Bits of dead fish. Fag ends. Buried nappy sacks. Strangers stripping off close to me. Twatty people taking an hour to inflate expensive canoes. Sand fecking everywhere. I also remain fully dressed on the beach. DH says I look like a Victorian lady. Born too late.

I love the beach! Swimming in the sea is one of the best things ever. I'm sure an eight-year-old will be fine unsupervised for a while.

I love a nice sandy not overcrowded beach. But it can be harder to relax with young children. By 8 it should be ok.

Even overweight, I love the beach. If you're still there OP, roll whatever you're wearing up and go for a paddle. There's nothing to beat cool, clean, moving water on a hot day.

I'm determined that next year I'm not going to be the fat, fully-clothed mum on the shore. I'm watching what I eat and exercising for a number of reasons, not least being able to do what I really love which is fannying about on a body board or inflatable tyre and being chucked off by the waves.

Love it!

And can I suggest west Wales in future?!

I love the beach, but we don't do sitting around on it. The boys don't really do sitting around anywhere. So we walk and walk and walk, then walk back again! It's nicest on a shallow, sandy beach, with the tide out, so there's lots of firm wet sand, but DH like the feel of dry sand on his feet.

And the beaches around us are never too hot. We usually go on hot days when we want to cool down a bit.

You are doing it wrong! Go without the kids, go in winter, walk miles of empty beach in the braci g air then huddle down in the dunes with a flask of coffee and a good book and enjoy being alone.

I'm with you- I hate the beach. Sand, whatever those "sand just ribs off" nutters say, it doesn't, it's foul sticky scratchy crap that gets everywhere. Don't like the sea, don't like the food, half baked half naked People who are ( as evidenced by this thread) under the impression it doesn't offend anyone if their showing off bits that ought not be shown and are bright red to boot. And most of all, this wonderful fresh sea air people refer to- smells like semen and fish and leaves my hair dry and puffy, and my skin sticky. Horrible sea air if you ask me.

pregnant agree a beach that smells of semen is a beach to absolutely avoid

I love a proper how they used to be beach,

But ours are all expensive to park near and rammed with overpriced ice cream vans and beach huts selling overpriced crap.

They are also full of signs telling you not to take dogs or dive or light fires or climb the rocks or disturb the dunes because of rare birds or take stones away or go near red flags or near the pier or to watch out dangerous tides or lethal currents...well you get the point. It's supposed to be a be a bit of nature not the local park.

I love the beach but hate lugging all the stuff around with us. I really dislike sand too! However water activities are great. Be it boating or swimming I can't get enough of the actual sea. :)

Sounds tempting Happybeard - which beach? (notice that bit is the deal breaker )

I live 10 mins walk from the beach, and I love it...for a walk in the depths of winter! I hate spending a day on the beach, and am glad DD has been old enough to take herself fro some time. She doesn't even like it unless there are loads of her mates and it's basically a party happening on a beach. She wouldn't want to go with just family.
I am a summer person and love the heat, but spending the day on the beach? No thanks.

I love the beach outside of summer time. I'm not so keen on the whole sitting about in the sun thing but I do enjoy a bracing walk in the winter with sand and salt stinging your face. A beach with good rock pools or fossils is a joy, miles of golden sand a bit dull imho. My localish beach has recently had it's cliff top Hotel refurbished and it now has an amazing terrace bar overlooking the bay and that's just fabulous.

Interesting x-post!