When is too old to become a dad again?

[amelia711]

My husband and I have recently discussed having another baby...we have a son who is one, and my husband's daughter (12) from his previous marriage stays with us half the week. My husband loves kids and would love another one, but his issue is his age, he is 47 (although he's very youthful ). I am 28 (there's a 19 year difference between us). He sometimes jokes and says that he could already be our son's grandpa (my mum is only 1 year older than him). Would he really be too old to have another baby?

I feel happy with our family as it is as we are comfortable financially, our son has been a great baby this far and my husband's daughter has been a brilliant big sister and help to us.

It does feel like it's either now or never though. I like the idea of having another baby and I don't want to regret not having another child later in life. But I don't want to make a life changing decision like this just so I don't have regrets later in life...

Does anyone have any advice/experience/thoughts on this?

Speaking from personal experience of having a child with a dad in his 40's I would say as long as he feels able to play football for hours he will be ok!
It is only in recent years (prob 56+) that I have started to feel exhausted after half a day with young active grandchild.
Of course everyone is different though so only you two can make that decision.

I think that it is very personal and a lot of different factors are involved. Being able to give a child love and a stable environment to grow is not age dependent. Young unfit, unhealthy, unstable and unreliable men are becoming Dads every day!

I don't think 47 is too old.

I do think it odd when people say "become a dad/grandmother/whatever again" though.

Surely you become a dad/grandmother/whatever on the first occasion only after that you merely have another child/grandchild/whatever

My DSF had my DSis at 60

I don't think 47 is too old. My youngest sister was born just before my dad's 52nd birthday and he is quite old for his age. He has managed fine and dsis is now 11 and they do loads together.
Anyway as loads of people say, age is just a number!

IMO 50 and above is too old so I think you're ok.

He's hardly unique OP. Loads of men start new families at that age and reckon that they are better fathers than they were when younger.

DH's DDad was 56 when he was bore and 58 when his sister came along. They seem to have done OK.

My dad was 44 when I was born and 48 when my brother was born. Personally I think that was too old; I definitely felt when I was at school that my dad was old compared to other dads. However my dad was a bit old fashioned, and most modern dads of a similar age seem younger.

I would say go for it, but do it sooner rather than later. In my view over 50 is too old, and a bit selfish. I know others will say that you cannot predict what will happen, which is true, but if you have an older parent you will not have them as long. I don't have any parents now, and haven't had for some time, but most of my friends have at least one parent, if not both. And I miss them.

Best of luck x

I'm in a very similar situation to you. I'm 27 and DP is 48. We have 2 DC together and he was 47 when the baby was born. He's only a couple of years younger than my parents but seems much younger to me. He's great with getting up in the night with the DC and although admits he finds it all a lot more tiring this time around (he has 2 older DCs) is still full of energy.

My dad was 50 when I was born. He was still able to take me cycling, swimming etc, and as I was not a very active child there were no problems. He is now pushing 80 and still tries to get me to come for 'bracing' walks.

Interesting thread as DH and I are similar ages.

We have a 7 and nearly 5yo together and couldn't TTC for a few years after this, but things are a lot better now and I floated the idea of #3 and he was surprisingly amenable as long as it's in the next couple of years.

He had a back injury that aged him a lot but now he's recovered he's back to running all over the place and stuff so I don't think his age is a problem in that sense.

The thing that worries me is that although maternal age is the bigger risk factor (not an issue for me at 27) for some problems, it IS still an issue I think?

Sorry if I've repeated anyone haven't read thread yet as iPod battery about to give up!

My Dp will be 47 when our first is born (his third) next year & I'll be 27 so definitely not too old

You know something - I'm kind of torn on this and sort of ashamed at my own attitude (for once). I had a snigger at the likes of rod stewart and Elton john for having children later but I have just been reminded (thank you DH) that my father was an arse - as was my mother and I was raised by my grandparents - who were ten years + older than your DH and they did a fantastic job.

Sure I ended up in a group care home just before I turned 15 because they had sadly both passed away by then but my actual childhood was fantastic and it was thanks to them. Its sort of sad they aren't here to know my children but my children know them through me and the stories I tell them so I don't think he is too old at all.

I don't really understand the concept of a man being too old to father a child.With a woman it is different because the eggs begin to age , but as long as he wants another child I can't see what age has to do with it.

I think the issue is that if you have a child at 50, the odds are you will be dead before your child is 30.

I've never quite given up the possibility of another, but think mid-fifties DP is too old - not necessarily now, but in 10/15 years. I don't imagine being 70 with a teen in the house would be much fun.

I don't think it is too old. You can't say how long they will live. My FIL was 46yrs when DH was born my father was 27 yrs when I was born. FIL was the one to see his grandchildren grow up. My father died before any of them were born. Life is not predictable!

I find it fascinating some older men are willing to go through creating a new family and the financial strain that comes with it just to keep a much younger woman on their arm!

Surely you would want to enjoy your later years? The people I know who are in that age range are enjoying going on holidays and interacting with their grandchildren.

It depends on your financial planning. When your dh is 65 your child might want to go to university. That will be VERY expensive by then. Will your dh be happy working till he's 70? Does he have savings? Can you start saving for a second (third) child's education now?

My DP says he doesn't want any past 40.

"I think the issue is that if you have a child at 50, the odds are you will be dead before your child is 30." - it depends where you live. In some areas average lifespan for a man is around 80. In other areas it's mid-60s.

My uncle just announced him and gf are having a third (plus he has two older children with ex wife in their late twenties) he is 58

Wouldn't dream of offering advice it is so personal but I am 71 DH is 67 and our youngest is just 9 (no we did not do the dirty deed) she is adopted and don't give a stuff what people think. She just needs to be loved.