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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be �� with bf about this remark

51 replies

Chiquititatellmewhatswrong · 08/08/2014 19:21

We are going to a family wedding in a couple of weeks.

I ordered the Lipsy dress that Michelle Keegan was recently photographed in at a wedding and showed him a picture of it, thinking, maybe naively, that he might say something along the lines of "you'll look gorgeous / sexy in that."

What I got was "ohh she's fit. Nice dress too."

Both true statements but nothing about me.

I am aware that on the day, rightly so ,the attention will be on the bride and nobody will be looking at me but I want him to look at me and think I look good.

I sound about 15 now haha! I assure you I'm not.

I am twice that age.

Aibu, petty, childish and attention seeking, do you think?

What would your reaction be if your boyfriend made this remark?

OP posts:
Bearbehind · 08/08/2014 19:23

Did you tell him you'd bought the same dress or just show him the picture?

GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 08/08/2014 19:25

I think you're being a bit on the high-maintenance side. He didn't say anything bad about you or anything else for that matter. If you have such a specific idea about what you want him to say You might want to tell him because he isn't a mind-reader.
Wear the dress, feel great and expect him to say something nice about you then. If he doesn't, then you can remind him that it is nice if he tells you these things.

TheAwfulDaughter · 08/08/2014 19:26

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Bearbehind · 08/08/2014 19:28

To be honest, I wouldn't set my self up for failure by showing him a photo of her in anything I planned to wear Grin

Rivercam · 08/08/2014 19:29

Men are no good at giving compliments!

needaholidaynow · 08/08/2014 19:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BookABooSue · 08/08/2014 19:30

YABU but I think you just had crossed wires. You wanted him to react to the abstract idea of you wearing it. He reacted to what was actually in front of him - a photo of a woman in a dress.

Try not to take it to heart. It doesn't mean he won't think you look stunning in it on the day.

pigsDOfly · 08/08/2014 19:31

I don't know who Michelle Keegan is or what she looks like, but I'm guessing she's some sort of celebrity so I do think perhaps you were being a little unwise to show your bf a, no doubt, airbrushed picture of a beautiful woman wearing the dress you are hoping he'll think you look gorgeous in.

I don't think you're being ur or petty and childish, of course you want your bf to think you're the most beautiful woman in the world.

Just don't show him any more photos of celebrity women, it's asking to be make to feel like crap.

ADHDNoodles · 08/08/2014 19:31

You might have shown him the picture showing him the dress. He saw the picture and saw the woman in the dress. He didn't say anything bad, in fact he complimented the dress. He might have a hard time picture you in a dress based on a picture.

I don't think I'd think much of it if DH made that remark. I'd probably do the same to be honest if a friend showed me a picture of a celebrity in a dress.

Next time just prod a bit. "Do you think I'll look good in it?". Sometimes partners need more than a subtle hint.

indigo18 · 08/08/2014 19:31

I would laugh I think. The dress is a lovely colour, but I don't like the back being plain. Makes it look cheap.

Gruntfuttock · 08/08/2014 19:35

"Aibu, petty, childish and attention seeking, do you think?"

I'm sorry, OP, but I think you are. He said the dress was nice, and I'd have been perfectly happy with that in your position. Btw, I haven't got a clue who Michelle Keegan is.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 08/08/2014 19:36

I know who she is as I had to google her a few days ago after the selfie thread.

Did he say that knowing you had ordered it and were going to wear it op?

Brices · 08/08/2014 19:44

My husband would not say another woman was attractive to me. He would consider my feelings. Would you do a similar type response to him? "He looks gorgeous / fit".
See I wouldn't do that.
I guess if you do or would say something similar then his comment is fair play.

Chiquititatellmewhatswrong · 08/08/2014 19:56

Yes he said it knowing I had ordered it and am planning to wear it.

If he showed me a pic of a shirt he had ordered I would never make a remark about how fit the man in the pic was.

I would think this would be hugely insensitive.

That's why I'm cross that he's done it to me.

Someone said men can't give compliments and they're right.

They just say what they see I suppose.

Like someone else said, he was shown a pic of Michelle Keegan in a dress and just said what was in his head.

"Fit woman, nice dress." Both true.

Fellas. ??

OP posts:
Brices · 08/08/2014 20:00

Educate him then or LTB Grin

Weathergames · 08/08/2014 20:03

What Bear said.

Chiquititatellmewhatswrong · 08/08/2014 20:05

This is the pic I showed him.

To be �� with bf about this remark
OP posts:
HaroldLloyd · 08/08/2014 20:06

Sorry don't see the issue.

Is he not able to comment that someone other than you is attractive? I can understand if it was your next door neighbour but he's hardly likely to bump into her and get amourous, despite which, she is already engaged to that giant orange thicko Mark Wright.

HaroldLloyd · 08/08/2014 20:07

(Yes yes I read heat magazine the other week, it was a long car journey and I had run out of Worthy Novels)

TheAwfulDaughter · 08/08/2014 20:10

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Bearbehind · 08/08/2014 20:10

To be fair, in a blokes shoes I probably wouldn't think to tell my girlfriend she'd look great in that dress having seen that pic- you're going to have to go some to pull it off.

Why not just show him the dress on you in the first place?

Brices · 08/08/2014 20:13

That's it harold my man only has eyes for me.
Or that's the way he plays it!

BolshierAyraStark · 08/08/2014 20:14

Yes, sorry but you so set yourself up for that one.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 08/08/2014 20:17

The dress is lovely op and i am sure he meant no offence.

Chiquititatellmewhatswrong · 08/08/2014 20:17

Yes, Bear, I accept that.

I should have just said nothing, ordered the dress then presented him with the sight of me in it and left Michelle Keegan out of it.

That is what I will do next time.

This is no teenage lad we're talking about.

He's in his 40s.

I thought he'd know better.

OP posts: