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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not know what's wrong with me?

7 replies

JustDontWantToSay · 06/08/2014 21:48

18m ago I left my husband. The marriage had broken down. Shortly afterwards I met someone else and fell heavily in love. Unfortunately he turned out to be a nasty, abusive bully - which took me a very long time to see. Mid-way through this relationship I became severely depressed (only realised when I found myself concocting a plan to kill myself. I'd decided to do it and decided how) Miraculously, some tiny, sane part of me told myself to get to a Dr so I did and was put on low dose antidepressants and told to consider counselling. The ADs worked really, really well - for about a month. They were slowly increased until I was taking the maximum dose (still am). The abusive relationship continued and by the end my self-esteem was in tatters, I was permanently petrified and full of self-loathing. Shortly afterwards I was put on Pregablin for anxiety and again, that worked well. For a little while, until it needed to be increased to have the same effect. I never reached the max dose because of awful side effects so I had to cut down. The plan was to cut down and stop altogether and swap to another drug. However I reached a level I felt comfortable with and stopped there and didn't start the other meds. I went through a hideous thing hideous thing which is over on WWYD and I'm unsure how this has affected me yet. I think I'm ok about it - but I know that I am not ok in general.

I've been battling on for a while but it's come to my attention that I am no longer coping. Daily household tasks faze me, the house is a mess and I can't see a way to tidy and clean it. I find it impossible to sleep - I have to wait until 2/3am until I am literally exhausted and can't keep my eyes open to sleep. I'm not eating properly and drinking far too much. I'm also far too affected by social things, like someone cancelling a planned meet up or something. I instantly feel like a worthless person. I can't smile, I'm anxious about everything and basically I'm a year on from the diagnosis and I'm no better.

It's also worth mentioning that I'm under a great deal of financial pressure which nothing and no-one can solve for me. It's partly my fault and it's partly circumstantial. I tried to ask my family to help but every single person said no, which crushed me slightly (I wasn't being unreasonable in what I asked). But again, I'm not dealing with the letters that are coming through the door. I'm making stupid decisions, I'm constantly trying to find new ways to make myself happy but nothing works.

I literally don't know what to do now. I feel like just giving up. If I didn't have children then I know for a fact I'd just stay in bed all day.

There's something wrong with me but I don't know what it is and I'm so exhausted by life that I can't actually begin to work it out.

OP posts:
BabyGoose · 06/08/2014 22:00

I'm so sorry about what you went through. Your actions following though show you as a brave and strong woman.
There is a lot going on in your life do maybe just try to resolve one thing at a time. I don't know anything about medication and side affects, but I'm sure others on here do.

My advice would be to see your GP again as you're not coping. Take one day at a time. People don't understand the impact of debt on a person. Perhaps you could go to the CAB or I think there is a govt helpline. If you can see light if the end of the tunnel maybe that would help?

LEMmingaround · 06/08/2014 22:00

You are anxious and depressed. And is there any wonder?

Have you had the counselling? What medication are you on?

I totally understand the housework thing - I have sobbed this week because I couldn't load the dishwasher.

Re the debts -again I understand. The letters the bad decisions. Its scary. Have a look at the national debt line website. Then give them a call. They will be able to help. Pm me if you want more advice. Sadlh have been there done that re debts so can help?

BabyGoose · 06/08/2014 22:02

Ps I meant to say no wonder you're feeling like this. I would too in your situation.

JustDontWantToSay · 07/08/2014 00:14

Thank you both xxx

I just feel that I can't be anxious/depressed because of the meds. But this isn't right??

OP posts:
HappySeaTurtles · 07/08/2014 03:28

Meds just make it easier for you to cope, but you still have to sort through your feelings, if that makes sense. It's not a magic fix.

But, if you're feeling hopeless (and it maybe sounds like you are?), you might want to get them readjusted or changed.

HappySeaTurtles · 07/08/2014 03:29

Oh, I meant to add. Thanks

It's understandable you're feeling like this. You've got a lot on your plate.

Try to just take it one day at a time.

MexicanSpringtime · 07/08/2014 04:32

You didn't allow yourself enough time to assimilate the end of your marriage and then you were in an abusive relationship and instead of realising that you needed to change the situation you took medication instead. Now all this is hitting you and there isn't enough medication.
But you can do it. One day at a time. Maybe some yoga or other natural form of relaxation would help to complement your meds.

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