To ask parents of children with SEN when they realised their baby/child was progressing or acting differently to their peers.

[PatButchersLostEaring]

I want to start by saying I know this is a very emotive subject on mumsnet and do not want to cause any offence.

I have a 13month old Ds and just wonder if anyone noticed any signs of future SEN at this age.

I have a beautiful, bright young boy who is also very full on, demanding and quick to a full blown tantrum, much more than his friends and cousins. I just wonder if any behaviour at such a young age can be indicative of future SEN.

Mine was a very placid baby though. He hardly ever cried and was always happy and smiling. The aggression didn't kick in until he was 2ish.
You will find that kids with SEN don't often present the same at this age. Some are placid and some are distressed babies, there is no 'norm'.

On the baby board I was on at the time I had my youngest a few days after one of the other mums in that month. Our babies developed at more or less the same, we would report the same stuff at the same time and then mine just stopped about 6-7 months in and hers carried on leaps and bounds. That and the way he came out screaming and just didn't stop.. I 'knew' when he started to crawl.. the way he would to up to a hard surface and just repeatedly tap his head against it, then go and find another one and another until one was just right and would stay there just tapping his head for ages.

Of course I brought it up and was dutifully reassured but I knew way back then. Of course trying to get somebody to listen was in a league of it's own.

From a few weeks old Ds2 behaved 'differently' but I put that down to him being a different baby to DS1. At 9 months he didn't answer to his name, he didn't follow me across the room, he didn't ever copy me, had extreme meltdowns at sounds/light/excessive stimulation. He made eye contact but it was as though he was looking through me. I didn't feel like he connected at all with me via eye contact. He began spinning in a circle and never ever got dizzy. He didn't walk until 19 months. His speech was mainly copied sounds from Disney films at 2 years old and his meltdowns were at their peak at that time.
It actually seemed like he didn't understand the word no. He didn't understand much of what I said.

He's now 5, We got a diagnosis at 4 and since then we've had a learning program in place with help from the OT. His speech has came on so much and he's a different boy. There's still a long road ahead but I must say that since we've had help. his progress has really came on.

If you have a gut feeling then go with it. Make sure someone sees him and don't be fobbed off with HV and their "Every child is different" crap that mine tried to convince me with.
It's hard at times but once I knew what I was dealing with then it was a million times easier.

Sending you a big hug xxx

Thanks Poltergoose and all you other posters. Going off line in favour of supper but its been really helpful.

I'll definitely check out the SN forum too.

Like gamer chick, it's hard to get anyone to believe you. I actually though I was going mad at one point as no one else seemed to think there was anything wrong. I though I was going to have a breakdown.
There's a thing called a CHAT test which is a useful guide that doctors use for referral to other services. You can find it here

thought

At a few months old when he wasn't making eye contact with me. I had just a tiny suspicion in my mind. I would sing to him and keep moving him around until he looked at me (the paediatrician said that was early intervention even though I didn't realise it). He makes quite good eye contact with those close to him now.

He missed out the entire stage of crawling or shuffling, just got up and started cruising at 10 months, later they said he'd missed out an entire developmental stage.

Then he didn't speak, and when he did at almost three it was echolalia (repeating reams of books and TV programmes) but never actually asking anything or sharing information etc.

He went to nursery and within two weeks they said they had concerns but I knew deep down already, I had put off his two year check because I knew he'd never meet the milestones and I wanted to give it more time.

He's actually fine now, you'd never know to look at him, he's got mates, he does activities, doesn't go to school though, he can't manage there so I HE him.

Bah humbug your post made me smile. I remember breaking a massive cookie in half for ds to eat and he absolutely lost it, I had to go buy another cookie! Then there was the time I rolled his sleeves up before dinner even to this day he won't tolerate that and heavens help me if I wear something with 3/4 length sleeves!

To answer you question though I knew when he was about 2 because of his speech delay, however looking back there were signs from just a few months old.

Interesting thread, just done that list and DS came up as a medium risk of ASD. He is 4.5 and really its only the last 12 months or so that more and more things are pointing that way (although in hindsight maybe things have been 'different' for a while) but he certainly wouldn't be on the severe end of the spectrum - he is starting school this year and because he went to the attached pre-school they are aware of what areas he struggles in and are already working to help him (made a special pack of pictures of the school an classroom for him to have at home/extra visits to the teacher etc) so I guess its a wait and see how things go and then look at seeing if there is something needing a diagnosis or if he just does things differently to others.

DD never cried when I left the room, never put her hands up to be lifted as a reflex, never pointed at things she recognised when out and about

DX with ASD aged 4yrs

the SN section has been a rock to me, you'll be very welcome there

My Ds1 was very very demanding as a baby, huge tantrums. Didn't like too much noise, certain textures of clothes, being even slightly too hot or cold would cause a meltdown. Dreadful eye contact too, he barely even looked at me until he was over one. Started getting better around 3 or so.

Anyway he's now 8 and completely normal (well, still slightly sensitive).

I've also got a dd with ASD. Socks are the thing here, she must put them on and take them off 100 times every morning getting steadily more distressed because the don't feel right.

Also the broken food thing here too, exact same kit kat related incident and if a banana breaks? Well it just doesn't bear thinking about!

All labels cut out off clothes and toys.

No jeans or "hard" fabrics, only soft cotton leggings or shorts, either long sleeves or short sleeves no 3/4 length here either, no tights under any circumstances.

We took her to Disney and she had a huge meltdown every single day, was just too much for her

I recall asking the MW about DS1, so he was less than 10 days old. I just had a sense that something wasn't right.

DX'd with Sensory Processing Disorder at 2 and with ASD at 4. But is now at 9 in mainstream without support (I do not like this but he is coping) from being mostly non-verbal and unable to stand noise or bright light at DX.

But the tantrums, oh gosh, the tantrums. We have had a few bad days this week with lots of noisy sobbing and screaming because he has just reached the end of his tether with this silly old un-regimented non-school time.

My other two (one older, one younger) are entirely NT. It's funny because they are very similar in temperment, colouring, play, even though they are different genders, but DS1 is e ntirely different in almost every way.

I am quite tolerant of children's differences so I didn't actually clock it until the health visitor said we had a problem. I cried at the traffic lights that day, I remember.

With hindsight he had been late at every milestone and we had commented to each other he seemed to be a baby for longer than the others.

Oh, DS1 was the least demanding baby I've ever met. His sensory overload manifested as falling asleep for the first several years, although he has yet to sleep through a night. The mad tantrums began at about 4.

looking back quite a few signs, wouldn't feed at 2 months old if there was too much visual stimulus going on, such as the beams in a barn conversion. stopped eating toast at a year old and has had issues with some textures and tastes ever since. very slow with some sounds, such as wouldn't say his same until aged 4 as he couldn't say the hard 'g' sound in it. meltdowns at times and still does. unable to cope with busy birthday parties aged 3 and finds this difficult even now. and you can probably tell from my name that he gets obsessed about things. ASD diagnosis aged 8.
but also between him and DS2, DD, DH and assortment of other family members including myself lots of us have some asd type characteristics but he is the only 1 with a diagnosis (although I think 1 cousin may get one in time). just because you are seeing some signs don't read too much into them. we even had 1 spectacularly useless paediatrician tell us that he definitely wasn't ASD at 1 point. at the end of the day I have a fantastic DS1 , very intelligent just has his own way of looking at things

Thanks Polter I will do, I plan on seeing how he gets on in the first term and then if still concerned discussing it with school then.

Interesting to see a few people mentioning about sleep, or lack of, I don't think he has ever slept through for more than a couple of nights at a time and getting him to sleep in an ongoing battle (which I lose most nights!)

I would say avoiding panic is important. DS2 has had his moments but is currently doing fine and aims to study Japanese at university. Not bad for someone who was told they had global developmental delay as a toddler (which he didn't have, incidentally).