To ask parents of children with SEN when they realised their baby/child was progressing or acting differently to their peers.

[PatButchersLostEaring]

I want to start by saying I know this is a very emotive subject on mumsnet and do not want to cause any offence.

I have a 13month old Ds and just wonder if anyone noticed any signs of future SEN at this age.

I have a beautiful, bright young boy who is also very full on, demanding and quick to a full blown tantrum, much more than his friends and cousins. I just wonder if any behaviour at such a young age can be indicative of future SEN.

My dd age 7 has ASD developmental delays, I think the turning point was when she was 1, on her first birthday she had a mealtdown because of the happy birthday singing and she gated candles, other peoples 1 year olds did not react that way and ds 2.5 years did not. After that we noticed she was very highly strung, would howl and cry most days, even the smallest thing like loosing a toy would be disasterous. Socially she would not have eye contact, would look straight through you, would nit interact with others. All before she was 2.

I knew DS had autism when he was 9 months old. My professional background is in ASD so knew the signs.

You should post on the Special Needs Children board, posters there are v knowledgable.

Plus she would put everything into her mouth even soil, we Webt to the soeech and language drop in who referred us to a SALT who said she could have social,communication disorder, she then referred us to a paedritrician who dx her at 6 with ASD.

Thanks AERO. I've recently learned (thanks to mumsnet) that a meltdown is a different ball game to a tantrum.

I notice similar behaviour with my Ds.

I thought the same as soon as I clicked on,post RAFFLE!

I think I'll try that forum tomorrow.

Ah I saw that thread, dd had mealtdowns as she did not understand the world and was not able to communicate, now that her verbal ability us so much better and her understanding of the world pand coping mechanisms with the help of her special school, has improved the mealtdowns have significantly reduced.

At 9 months, late meeting milestones esp no copying, shared attention type stuff, Diag ASD.

when she was 2ish and I realised her tantrums were totally different from other 2 year olds ...and they got worse as she got older not better

I realised from birth there was something not right, for a NB he was just so alert.

I knew there was something different about DS2 when he was just a few weeks old. We got a referral to a developement paed when he was 9 months but our worries were pushed aside.

I still pushed though and at his 2 year check the HV must have thought the same as the following week I had an ed Psych and SN SALT turn up at my door, 6 months later he had a firm DX of ASD.

Please post on the SN boards with any concerns, there are loads of helpful posters on that board with a great extent of knowledge, I have had loads of help the past 6 years from there.

I find he's really tantruming at tiny things and seem to get worse and worse. I took a cup away from him and it lasted 15-20 minutes.

Lots of screaming, kicking and a look of fear as if he knows he's lost control.

DS2 didn't move much when I was pregnant. Then he struggled to breastfeed, didn't meet milestones etc.

DS4 very similar although was diagnosed with cleft lip and palate at 20 week scan and with hydrocephalus soon after birth.

At this age tantrum in itself Im not sure is indicative - lots of children have phases where they just really impatient to do something and cant regulate well. Do the tantrums seem more like a reaction to certain stimuli that seem too much - like a sensory overload? My dd used to go rigid, screaming, I think NT children have meltdowns at this age but theres something about how locked my dd was in this that was just different. Still is (wry) Could be it something else, ear infection, tummy?
Keep observing and I recommend the wise old geese on the SN boards.

I noticed DS was different to friends babies when he was 4 or 5 months old. He wasn't rolling & had developed a flat patch on his head from lying in the same position all of the time. He continued to lag behind with his gross motor milestones. It became glaringly obvious when he was about 1yr & making no effort to crawl. He was diagnosed with hypotonia & hypermobility at 15 months and has been having physio since.

You describe your DS as full on and demanding yet bright.i would have described DS as similar at that age. My DS is 2.5 now. He's never been content to just watch the world go by like some of my friends placid babies. He was having full on temper tantrums by 1yr. I think partly out of frustration at being immobile and also not being able to clearly communicate what he wanted when he knew EXACTLY what he wanted!
He still wants my attention and has to be busy all the time. It can be wearing. He loves books and has an excellent concentration span. His language skills are pretty good, he can speak in 6 or 7 word sentences and the better his speech gets the less tantrums we seem to have as he can tell me what he wants. I think some children are just very strong minded even from an early age & DS was one of them.
Do you spend much time with other children of the same age? I always feel reassured about tantrums etc after spending a day with friends. It seems they are all going through the 'terrible twos' at the moment.

He does and always has found too much going on hard to cope with.

He was a VERY unhappy newborn and most of my family with children voiced their concerns then. I put it down to a mystery physical ailment, maybe colic, maybe wind etc.

Like one of the posters dc's he found his birthday (with many people in 'his' space) singing and picking him up stressful and did not seem to enjoy it.

Other children seem (for want of a better word) more chilled than he is.

Willow, I do spend a lot of time with children his age and am yet to find one as highly strung.

People comment on him in a nice way saying oh typical (his name).

What is his understanding like? Does he say any words yet?

At 9 months DS used to repetitively empty the cupboard and put everything back in. He was late with most milestones and always used to play on his own at nursery. At age 2 the toddler tantrums started and have never stopped. The biggest sign was getting excluded from school age 4 in reception. After that everything moved very quickly he was given a full statement and diagnosed with asd.

I noticed my dd was different right from the start. Even while I was pregnant she didn't seem to behave like other babies, only ever moving when poked. She was around 2 when I felt something wasn't right as opposed to just different. She was 15 when the professionals finally saw what I'd been seeing for years.

Yes come to think of it now dd was a very unhappy baby and would cry (howl like pain type of howl) from 9am-9pm it was relentless, ds was so different, so calm and smily and happy with excellent eye contact.

My son was very very tantrummy, very early walker, late talker, did not want to be held at all, avoided eye contact, missed several milestones, ....all the symptoms, yet no SEN.

Completely average boy now, at 11.

Don't start worrying too soon, and don't compare too much.

My grandson is on 'the autistic spectrum' apparently and we noticed he would go hysterical if you gave him anything slightly damaged or out of shape or whatever to eat. For example he loves Kit Kat fingers and is given one as an occasional treat and was once given one that had snapped in the wrapper. He screamed his head off and was actually hysterical for about fifteen minutes , it is definitely not just a tantrum yes I'm looking at you , judgy pants feckin woman in shop tutting and pulling catsbum faces . He flatly refused to eat it even though it is his favourite. Similar thing with a slice of bread with the corne of the crust broken off - absolutely inconsolable and wouldn't eat it again even though he had really wanted it till he noticed.

Up until 1:5 years dd was meeting all tge dev milestones, sit up, roll, walked at 11 months, knew 50 words at 1.5 years, but very Sensitive to stimuli and in her own world.

I feel he understands what I'm saying although no words but Mama and Dada.

I think like many his age he listens selectively to what he's told especially if it involves the words no or don't .

Sorry he was around eighteen months to two yrs old when we started to suspect something wasn't quite right.