To not understand how some people afford to have so many children?

[KiKiFrance]

I mean this as a genuine question, but how the heck do they do it?

We have 3 DCs as that was all we could afford, yet I know families that have only one very average income that just seem to keep having children, and affording nice things, activities and holidays too.

Someone I know has just had her fifth baby. They are very early thirties and her DH works in a supermarket, and she is a SAHM, so obviously not on a high income, yet they always have nice clothes, the older children to lots of activities, they have a lovely new build house which is decorated beautifully, always eat out, and they bought all new (expensive) baby equipment for baby #5. She has also said to me that they'll have a sixth baby at some point, and possibly a seventh too!

The other person that I know has 4 children. Her DH is a chef but is always in and out of work, but again they seem to have such nice things, and her children to lots of activities and clubs. One of her sons has just had a huge birthday disco in a hall, and she said it cost over £300. They too are planning to have more children.

Our income is good, yet we generally can't afford half the things that they can, and certainly could never have afforded a 4th child, even though I would have quite liked another baby.

I wrote that pretty badly. I meant to say that I get tax credits, which did not increase when I had a second child, just like my wages didn't increase

You don't get £1400 tax credits for 5 dc unless one has a disability.

'...and a husband with a brilliant brain'.

Olbas

i wish you can tell us more. I am dying to know.

You might be surprised by the amount of people still using debt to sustain their lifestyle. I am including interest free credit for furniture etc. (includes me ).

I think the long view can be helpful if you feel a bit frustrated about your own situation in comparison (I am not saying this applies to anybody btw). Our household income (we both work FT, have no family/friends to help financially or in kind with childcare etc) is only slightly higher than a friend who works 22 hours and her FT working DH. She is a bit smug about that. But I have been paying into a pension for 12 years now and it is a finally salary scheme so I will get I really good lump sum on retirement (which I hope to take early - maybe 55 or 60).

Yes, thinking of the furniture in here now:

Tv - free from relative
Tv stand- £20 from charity shop
Shelf- free from relative
Chair- free from relative
Desk- free from relative
Cupboard - £100 from charity shop 10 years ago
Dining table- £30 from charity shop after looking for a year
Dining chairs - free from relative
Rug - recent gift from relative
Coffee table - Christmas gift from relative 8 years ago
Small couch - £100 from charity shop 9 years ago
Big couch - £1200 in sale 9 years ago

So even though I've been out of work for 7 years we do have quite a nice looking living room.

(I'd never realised this before)

weatherall

Our furniture is similar, well has been until now.
We have just splashed out on a new settee and chairs and with the carpet it came to nearly 4k.
This is the only thing we have bought new in our 26 years together.
My pil gave us a suite once because they didn't like the olour after all, it was only about 6 months old.
We made do with the colour, it wasn't brilliant but for free we lived with it.
We have my parents old dining table and chairs, it has sentimental value even though a bit dated and scruffy looking.

I too know someone with 5dc who gets £1400 pm in tax credits £300 cb £760 rent pm paid for, no council tax to pay partner works pt for £240pw Thats £2660 pm with just gas and electric to come out of that, they don't pay water as they don't think they should have too, as her dp works pt she has started uni (only for the money as she's told everyone) £3000 loans 3 times a year + any extras, she's really not bothered about paying it back! Thats over £40k a year a high earner for the NW, we have 2 children partner works full time for not even half of what they receive and we get no HB or help with council tax, v low tax credits and just CB which doesn't go far when we pay most of it into there children isa's.

Im not a bitter person, I'm far from jealous I'm bloody angry, I can't go to uni as I have a 1yo and 7yo who I cannot afford childcare for and my dh works 46h+ a week for us, Out of or £1800 pm income we pay full rent £600, council tax £120 and all our other bills etc, we have to be really careful and plan in advance for days out etc.
The person I know with 5dc wasn't lucky or fortunate to have there lifestyle, they played the system and now they are not the only ones I see more and more families with 4+dc than ever round here and is it any wonder when this is what they can get!
Benefits need to be capped to a limit of 2 children its madness the benefits these people receive for simply having children non stop, I can't have another dc I would absolutely love to but we can't afford it, we can't afford to move to a bigger house, we are stretched enough as it is with 2!
Im going to be flamed for this but its the truth, something needs to be done about it as I for one am fed up of seeing my dh work non stop to provide a lifestyle that we can only dream would match these others who hardly work and receive benefits equal to someone wage in a good job!

Soontobesix, You do believe me! I have seen the tax credit award and have been told countless times what they receive!

I'm amazed by how people seem to know the exact breakdown of peoples incomings and outgoings. Do people seriously discuss this kind of thing in such detail?

That's actually over 3k a month 3bears, if you include his wage as well. I wonder why the government thinks we shouldn't get CB then on a similar wage?

3 bears

You have just the same choice as everybody else, you can do the same if you want to.
Because you obviously don't want to live like this, "Something has to be done", to stop others.
Thats a very mean way to think, but each to their own.

If everyone lived like that morethan, who would pay the tax to finance it?

Well I've had it thrown in my face plenty of times, what they receive.
Why is it mean to think like that? I wouldn't have 5 children as my partner works FT and I know I couldn't give them all the attention they deserve, I wouldn't have lots of children just so I could receive £40k+ a year!! I am entitled to my opinion and a lot of other people feel the same way.

exactly ihategeorgeosborne I for one wouldn't like to be working ft paying tax to pay for people like this to have a lifestyle I would do anything for!

Many jobs that pay 40-50K will pay more in few years. A new dr or solicitor knows that he/she will make a lot more in few years. A teacher or a nurse will have a good pension. They might become head teacher or specialist nurse. A home owner will have a house and can retire abroad and live like a king.

It is still better working. I dont think that people work for moral reasons. I will admit that i work for my house. I can sell it in the future or rent it out and go abroad. I dont envy the family on benefits even if we are extremely under pressure at the moment.
The families on benefits are NOT better off.

The large families I know have never received any benefits except child benefit. One of them (with 9 children) the parents are both incredibly resourceful. The DM is an amazing cook, dressmaker, makes own soft furnishings, etc. The ddad (as well as working full-time) ran a business at night and is great at sourcing secondhand bikes, pianos, etc. He'd stay up in his garage respraying, mending tyres, etc so the DCs could have like-new shiny bikes.

So yeah lots of different ways that parents can afford more DCs and look as though they have lots of money too.

irritates me too. my dh always earned slightly too much and what you paid out e.g. mortgage amount was never considered. we had no spare cash when my dc were young.

I thought benefits were meant to be 26k or less and it makes a mockery of getting good qualifications and a career if you can 'earn' this much being a shelf stacker

irritates me too. my dh always earned slightly too much and what you paid out e.g. mortgage amount was never considered. we had no spare cash when my dc were young.

I thought benefits were meant to be 26k or less and it makes a mockery of getting good qualifications and a career if you can 'earn' this much being a shelf stacker

sorry didn't mean to post twice.

Thats very true Laquitar these people who receive benefits because of having lots of children may be better off now and we envy them as they hardly work and get to spend lots of time together however they're children will not be children forever and then there benefits will then stop.

Aslong as they are working alemci even PT they're benefits are not capped.

certain benefits (if not working) void the cap,so it is possible to to be on them fulltime and go over the cap and not be effected

usually disability benefits