to think I'm an idiot

[dreamydaysbytheriver]

Pregnant, and I have a not-quite 4 month old.

??

I don't even remember having SEX.

I'm so so so stupid, I'm totally in pieces.

are you sure your pregnant could be a false positive?

I dont think your an idiot and is is totally possible to actually get pregnant without having sex. I had a couple of month old DC4 who was totally breastfed, had had no periods since birth and didnt have sex. we DID do other things - which was (according to dates) enough for a tiny amount of the important bits to get together to make a dc5.

So I got pregnant with dc5 while exclusively breastfeeding, without restarting my periods (so at the first chance) and without having actual sex between dc4 and dc5.

So no you are NOT stupid, but you need to sit down, calm down and talk with dp.

I have loved having dc close together and although it feels huge now things do work out.

You are not an idiot. It happened to a HCP friend. She is happy with her 2 DC now. Depends on what you want to do. Sorry if I sound patronizing, but you need time to calm down and take in the news. Good luck OP

I feel sick with this, I never dreamed it could be possible. No memory of having sex but we must have.

This is really bad news, I was planning on leaving DH in the autumn. We have an older child too.

You don't have to go through with this pregnancy if it's not the right thing for you/your family. Give yourself a chance for the dust to settle.

Testing, i do. I terminated once before and honestly I still hate myself for it.

So as not to drip feed, that was a planned pregnancy. It was just when I was in the early stages of pregnancy (8 weeks) I thought I couldn't go through with it, I still hate it that I did that.

When you say you don't remember having sex, do you mean you haven't had any sexual contact? So that it would discount a scenario that it'sjustmeagain describes?

Could it be an evaporation line?

I've done a digi so I think it's pretty certain.

I'm sorry. This must be hugely confusing. Do you have someone other than your do to talk this through with to get her your thoughts?

Dp not do

There's nothing that can be done, really. I guess I am pregnant, and that is that.

Um, do you actually not remember having sex. I know you have a little baby, and life is prob a bit bonkers,but are you honestly saying you don't remember having sex. Because if you don't, that is worrying.

Why were you planning on leaving your dh?

Hope your ok, this must be a huge shock at the moment, but things will be ok.

Wasn't the Op joking about not remembering the sex - as in being an exhausted new parent? At least that's how I read it.

Op it will be fine. A friend of mine had two children a year apart in age. Not ideal maybe, but it probably happens more often than you think. One big positive is that you get the baby years over and done with and the children can grow up together.

I'm going to leave this post standing because I think it is still relevant, although I have just seen that you were going to leave your husband. Very difficult situation for you Op and you have my sympathy.

No memory of having sex but we must have.

Just ignore the whole of my previous post. I'm obviously incapable of reading or giving good advice.

Oh no it's fine fireside, I appreciate you replying. I honestly have no memory of having sex but must have of course ... I mean I probably was half asleep. Dd won't even be quite 1 when dc3 arrives? How dumb am I?

I would be having a serious chat with dh about how on earth you managed to have sex without remembering. Are you on any medication with side effects that could possible make you forget stuff? Is there any other way you can explain this?

I don't know, I do forget stuff though and if I was sleepy then maybe I didn't fully realise, I don't remember properly it's all a blur

Is oh abusive... You say you forget stuff.. Or could he be gas lighting you?

There is other options, abortion or adoption or keeping the baby.

What ever you choose, do it for you.
Things will work out. X

I think it's very worrying that you think he must have had sex with you when you were asleep and didn't know about it. That's not a normal thing to happen. You sound quite accepting about it. I wonder if you might find it helpful to post this in Relationships where you may get more support and some helpful advice.

Thanks jelly, you said what I had not really been able to type. I also think this is very worrying.

Dreamy days if you want to talk things through further we are all here, you say you planned to leave your dh anyway, so sounds like the relationship is over, and not great.

If your husband has had sex with you without you being aware of it, apart from being pregnant, then that is extremely worrying.

OP if you weren't aware of it then you weren't consenting.

I can't have another abortion, I really can't.

Thanks, though.

I don't know if I was asleep, seems unlikely, surely I'd have woken? Or if it happened ie I consented and just can't remember, that is possible and more likely, DH is an arse though and I want to leave. Leaving with a 7 year old and baby bad enough but a 7 year old, 4 month old and pregnant? How stupid am I.

Well, honestly, neither sleeping through it or forgetting it sound very likely. It sounds very confusing and worrying. I do think posters on the Relationships board would be able to help you more though.

And you definitely aren't stupid - you are clearly going through a lot. Whatever has happened, it isn't your fault.And you can still leave, even pregnant with a young baby.

Thanks jelly, I don't remember, bit you know when you're just so tired you're not fully with it? I'm thinking it must have been then, maybe I fell asleep so quickly afterwards and it didn't take long. Must have.