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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to go on lovely holiday at Christmas?

50 replies

Smooshface · 04/08/2014 06:46

In laws are taking us to florida in October with dd's 5 and almost 1.

They want to go away at Christmas too, skiing (which I'm not mad about) or Caribbean (which sounds nice but I'm not much of a beach person)

I don't want to go. All sounds like effort right now, still feeding to sleep currently a restless 8 month old (feeding her as I write this!). I kind of want to see how florida goes. And me and FiL
Don't always see eye to eye (has already fed 7 month old chocolate buttons when I wasn't looking and acted like I was being ridiculous as he had fed his kids choccy since birth he claims)

Partner basically thinks I'm being selfish and this would be great for the kids. He is talking about going skiing with dd1 and I can stay with dd2 in uk if that's what I want. Generally he has been good about me saying no to various holidays, but this has him irked.

I am looking forward to florida as I am a big kid and I know that it will be fab for princess loving dd1. But I feel like that's enough and more stuff is too much. Plus my parents may actually want to see us a bit more as the autumn half term we will be away! I'm a bit nervy about travelling, especially long distance. Ha and the other thread about American toilets has me spooked!

OP posts:
jaynebxl · 04/08/2014 06:49

C

jaynebxl · 04/08/2014 06:49

Oop

jaynebxl · 04/08/2014 06:50

Sorry. Can you say that since you are away for Oct half term you would like to visit your parents for Christmas? That would be very reasonable.

Sirzy · 04/08/2014 06:51

Personally I would never go away at Christmas. I would go over new year but while DS is small then Christmas needs to be allowing him time to enjoy and play with his toys not goon on holiday

LindyHemming · 04/08/2014 06:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Smooshface · 04/08/2014 07:02

We won't be away for Christmas Day, that is already something I had to instigate, I am only child so don't like to have my parents just on their own at Xmas.

He is already arranging to go skiing with FiL in march I think! Which I had forgotten about. We went skiing a couple of years ago and dd1 liked it but was still too young so they want to have a second go at getting her to like it now, especially as they won't be doing this forever. But last time was a bit of a shitty time for me as I ended up doing most of the childcare with a super bored 3 year old as mil got awful lurgy. Usual mil is fab and would look after kids no problem.

I want her to like skiing but I'd personally rather have a few goes at snow dome type affair and see how long she can be arsed with that! Last time she was happy to do 30 minutes of forced skiing then just wanted to be in hotel pool for rest of the day! For the good ski slopes we tried to pick a kid friendly resort but these things aren't brill for young uns... Dinner was regularly served at 9:30, at which time poor shattered dd would be losing her mind, she is usually really great in restaurants

OP posts:
Johnogroats · 04/08/2014 07:02

Introducing a child to skiing is much easier at Easter....it can be very cold at Christmas. That would be a good argument to run.

Original poster
Smooshface · 04/08/2014 07:04

I know I'm being slightly unreasonable as I'd rather they didn't go without me, would be quite sad having week in uk without them and I would be quite anxious about them!

OP posts:
Delphiniumsblue · 04/08/2014 07:04

I would say the answer is for DH to go skiing on his own- it is just hard work taking children younger than 8 years.

Original poster
Smooshface · 04/08/2014 07:05

My parents are retired so partner doesn't think that it's a 'good enough ' excuse, especially as may see kids on the run up to Xmas.

OP posts:
headoverheels · 04/08/2014 07:13

We have taken our DC skiing and found it to be a good holiday for kids (not for the 1yo obvs) - I'm surprised you say it wasn't child friendly - ours loved skiing and playing in the snow and we ate at 6pm.

I'm probably biased as I love skiing, but I can see why your partner thinks this is a great opportunity. As long as you and your partner take turns skiing, and you don't always get stuck with the child care!

Delphiniumsblue · 04/08/2014 07:16

I have taken children from babies upwards and in retrospect 8yrs onwards was best. I took my mother to do the childcare and get them to and from lessons or you don't get much skiing in yourself. It can be very cold early in the season.

Delphiniumsblue · 04/08/2014 07:18

My son's girlfriend was a nanny for a season in a chalet and she didn't find it was fun for young children.

dancestomyowntune · 04/08/2014 07:24

when i was 16 my mum, brother and step father went to Disney at christmas. i refused to go and spent xmas with my boyfriends family. christmas is important in our house, and needs to be at home imo. although i would LOVE a proper snowy christmas! Grin

Original poster
Smooshface · 04/08/2014 07:26

Maybe just unlucky with hotel but we tried hard to select a child friendly place (had little playroom and kids film club although that started at 8pm in French so we were a bit limited!)

I'm fairly unfit so I like a bit of skiing but I wouldn't have stamina or inclination to do all day. Would be nice to go when I am get a bit fitter, last time we went I was a few stone less than now! My post baby body is in serious need to toning

I think I'd rather be bored at skiing than bored at beach holiday but I'd kind of rather do nothing, feel like one holiday this year is enough with travel and faff. I wouldn't mind doing a few days at center parcs, but partner thinks this is shit idea and doesn't believe people go in winter. Winter holidays for me was always time for seeing family and friends, although both have declined over time I just feel like I'd rather do some of that for most of the holidays. They didn't have grandparents or aunts and uncles to really care about so they were happy to go away as family over Xmas as it's the same for them here or away.

OP posts:
Original poster
Smooshface · 04/08/2014 07:28

Just to emphasise - not away for actual Christmas Day, leave after Boxing Day

OP posts:
TheRealAmandaClarke · 04/08/2014 07:35

Well, it sounds lovely. And i don't even ski. Grin
It is hard when you have fundamental differences on your view of holidays though.

I agree with a pp that much hinges on how evenly split childcare would be during the holiday because its very easy to feel excluded from things and resentful if you're the one doing all the "work"
And if i wasn't feeling my "best" i would not want to be pushed into a beach holiday. I would hate that.

I am not sure i would like being told wher im going. Im not very keen on extended family/ groups of friends holidays tbh. I think there's always a potential issue lurking.
So, maybe yabu (a teeny bit) but i would feel the same (so that's ok Wink) and they are bu too imo.
But, do they get very involved with the DCs? That can be really nice.

Original poster
Smooshface · 04/08/2014 07:42

They do get involved... Although when skiing with mil ill, FiL was like 'we'll take dd for morning' - they arrive to breakfast at 10:30! Morning with dd starts 7:30, we had been dressed and waiting that while time. Then at 12:30 he handed her over and buggered off skiing as I had come back already. Kind of my fault as I was prepared to take over but he was phoning to find out where we were and when we'd be back as he wanted to get out! Mil not as into skiing, she just goes mainly 'cos family loves it. Which kind of sets me up to endure holidays I don't give a shit about really doesn't it!?

OP posts:
Tinkleybison · 04/08/2014 07:44

Crikey - I think one holiday with the inlaws in the space of a year is plenty! So if only for that reason yanbu.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 04/08/2014 07:50

Mmm.
I think your issues with FIL are going to grate.
Yanbu to want to not go on holiday with them.
Do you get a choice?

pukkabo · 04/08/2014 08:05

One holiday with PIL is more than enough I think Wink.

If it wasn't for the Florida trip two months before Christmas I'd be more inclined to say yabu because I think skiing sounds lovely, especially just after Christmas and especially considering you get to have Christmas Eve/day at home which is most important IMO. But two holidays abroad in space of two months sounds a bit much for young children and with all the usual excitement of Christmas anyway it may all be a tad overwhelming. So overall yanbu.

Delphiniumsblue · 04/08/2014 08:18

Much better for him to go alone. I love skiing - DH hates the cold and snow and didn't take to skiing. I go, he stays at home and everyone is happy. I wouldn't get set in for a lifetime of holidays you don't enjoy.

eddielizzard · 04/08/2014 08:23

i agree. limit the no. of hols with them. difficult as they see it as doing something nice for you, but you also need to relax as a family on your own.

i had to put foot down last year as we hadn't been away by ourselves without family since our honeymoon which was many, many years! always family around. it changes the dynamics. you want to be able to do things at your kids' pace, and not worry about anyone else.

jaynebxl · 04/08/2014 08:38

In the midst of all these in law holidays do you get your own family holiday? I think these are really important.

Leeds2 · 04/08/2014 09:50

I would suggest that your OH goes skiing with his family, and you stay home with both children. As long as you are happy with that.

I don't think it is unreasonable to not want to go on two holidays with your in laws in such a short space of time.

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