to be horrified by children´s behaviour on flight?

[Happy36]

Am I unreasonable to think that one should keep an eye on one´s children during a flight and try to ensure that their behaviour does not upset other passengers unnecessarily?

Just had a horrendous experience with what felt like a whole plane full of children (not toddlers - children aged between 5 and 15) screaming, shouting, running around, dropping rubbish, bouncing over the seats, ignoring the airline staff. Children will be children, that much can´t be denied, but what horrified me was the parents´ total oblivion to the situation.

Also I felt sorry for the airline staff and wonder whether there are any possible ways for airlines to encourage passengers more strongly against indulging in anti-social behaviour.

So what would have happened if they all said no?

When I fly alone I am happy to swap.

With family, I might be... DS 1 is a sensible 9 and would be fine. DS2 might be ok....but I wouldn't want to promise!

We are flying en famille to the US very shortly. I will watch out for horrors and report back if I see anything interesting.

I did once have a man offer to move for me when I was pg and DS was 1. He was lovely. But the space was occupied by a woman who refused to ave a man sit next to her. Unbelievable.

And I asked mum if I could give her DDs a sweet to suck on landing and got a tirade about the evils of sweets!!! A TIRADE! It was terrible and she showed herself up to the whole flight whilst her lovely older girls looked mortified...

Marylou - you sound like a saint. And she sounds simply ghastly.

My most hated thing is adults that recline their seats ALL the time, daytime 'oh lets put the seat down and pretend to sleep after all that's what I do all day anyway', 1 or 2 hour flight 'oh time to recline and snooze', 'someone eating behind me, can't possibly wait 5 mins for your tray to be picked up too never mind I've finished now time for a snooze'

I have come to the conclusion they all have narcolepsy!

Pretty much the last flight I flew I was separated from my 2, 4 and 6 year old, really really pissed me off.

(Yes it was a full fare airline, yes I had paid loads, yes we had booked together, yes I had started my journey with the same airline over 12 hrs previously all on one ticket so it wasn't like they didn't have ample time to do something about it. I asked the steward to pick whether the 6 year old with hideous travel sickness or the 4 year old should sit elsewhere)

TBH I am surprised about the attitude on Mumsnet to this, if you are flying a full fare airline they really really really really really really really need to sit families together as much as possible.

In what other arena would you get away with this? tickets to Disney on Ice at opposite ends of the stands and none would say anything. Unlikely. Not allowing parents into the park with their children or an adequately lifeguarded swimming pool (poor choice but you get my drift)?

Last year coming back on a long haul flight, we had a family of mum, dad and three little girls near us. Just after take off when the seat belt signs went off, the oldest of the three girls (maybe about 6 years old) gave passengers in the vicinity a little printed letter, some ear plugs and some lovely chocolate. The letter was along the lines of... "We are usually well behaved, but sometimes things go wrong, so we are very sorry if they do, but please enjoy this chocolate and use the earplugs just in case". We didn't hear a peep out of them.

Time to introduce your DS to the joys of chocolate buttons Slongette?

Our DD (almost 3) has been on a few short- and two long-haul flights now. She was great to begin with (when she was still bf) - every time she opened her mouth to scream, she got a feed. One flight was awful, terrible turbulence and she wanted to be walked to sleep. Thankfully the cabin crew let me stand with them to jiggle her off to sleep.

All other flights she has been rigorously entertained. New books, stickers, Baby Annabelle, play doh, Peppa on the ipad and the inevitable chocolate button bribery. We've been complimented on her behaviour (and our efforts!) and directly compared to older children who have not been quite so bearable. We've never been separated from her, though DH has been a row back from the two of us.

hesterton

Here you go!

www.universalaunts.co.uk

Japanese Margaret - would you like to borrow my crystal ball for next time you fly?

Really, you should have consulted it.

I would have thought on a flight there would be plenty of people willing to move around a little. Mistakes happen. I would rather sit in the toilet than next to someone else's unaccompanied 3 year old.

I don't believe half the stories on here! I'm ex-BA, have travelled LOADS and now live in the US so fly back and forth to the UK often (kids too). Kids down the back and parents in first/business? No - doesn't happen, as legally parents (or a designated guardian) have to be seated with their children. We always used to tell the parents we would happily downgrade them or they could buy upgrades for the children. Many parents tried this trick in a foolish attempt either to try and get a free upgrade, or to absolve themselves from childcare responsibilities. Sadly they weren't allowed on board until the situation had been resolved...

So - people are either exaggerating on here, flying with none-UK based airlines or talking about historical events. Ditto cabin crew - they generally crack down on bad behaviour and if necessary, have police waiting at the gate upon arrival.

I second that in 20 years flying I have never departed with a really small child sat next to a stranger. It gets resolved before doors closed....

Or we don't go.

I have seen a very angry couple being downgraded to the cattle-truck by inexorable American Airlines staff. Two DCs, I guessed 6 and 8. Bloody nerve.

The parents kept the benefit of business-class baggage allowances!

I felt very sorry for a family that we helped to split up when I was travelling with my boyfriend years ago.

We should have been boarded first as he is disabled but due to a cock up not of our making we were some of the last. Which meant we sat where we were put (him literally as he cannot walk at all). After us came a family with a very disgruntled mother who complained that they should have been sat together. The flight was packed. I don't know why they were last on - perhaps a similar cock up.

Our luggage arrived at our destination six hours after we did too.

I find it absolutely amazing how so many people on MN have totally accepted that airlines should be able to charge people to be able to sit together. That's why the fuckers get away with it. They should simply allocate seating at the time of booking (like they do on trains, even with the 'choose another seat' function) and not charge extra for it. It's absolutely ridiculous that they do.

Yet people on MN are all, 'well people should simply pay'. It's absolute nonsense.

I'm not sure that cabin crew so always crack down on bad behaviour. The cabin crew on a KLM flight (admittedly about 6 years ago now) kept giving a woman seated next to me lots of those wee bottles of wine and she got very drunk very quickly. She then attempted to sexually assault me. When I complained the cabin crew acted like I was being silly and begrudgingly let me sit in a jump seat (which was fucking uncomfortable and had no entertainment for a transatlantic flight). They then go arsey with me when I refused to move back to my original seat when it came time to land. (On this basis I will never fly with KLM ever again).

YANBU

This happened to me the first time flew business class on a flight from DXB to London. Veh posh couple seemingly in the middle of huge row got on with 2 kids under 5. Mum had obviously had enough and put her eye mask on and went to sleep. Kids screamed, shrieked, cried, puked and whined for 7 hours while their ineffectual and completely overwhelmed dad looked on helplessly. Unfortunately the mum refused to wake up no matter how many times I "accidentally" dragged my newspaper across her face on the way to the loo! Grrr.

The second time I was older and gobbier and came back from the loo to find the lady with a baby in arms next to me changing aforesaid baby's shitty nappy on MY seat! I complained that time and was moved. Very impressed with the crew but feel so sorry for them dealing with the public and their (often) bloody revolting habits.

I would happily pay double for a child-free flight when DH and I go away together.

In most of these examples, the problem isn't the children though. It's the bloody useless parents.

I'd pay extra for a flight where they vetted the parents to ensure they'd brought stuff to entertain (and feed) their offspring and were absolutely willing to step up and do all the parenting necessary for the duration of the flight.

Sometimes it can be hard to calm small children down when they're distressed, but people will generally understand so long as the parents are actually trying. Putting on an eye mask and pretending to sleep through it is not OK.

Thanks for all the help and advice guys. It's a night flight so here's hoping he'll be asleep but I will be purchasing a packet or two of chocolate buttons!

Will also buy some sweeties and earplugs for those closest to us....

You never know, it may be a quiet flight [delusional] ?!?

We have had a couple of bad flights. DD1, when 13 months old crying for about 3 hours solidly. I juggled her continuously trying to soothe her, the seat belt sign was on for most of the flight so I couldn't stand to walk/rock her. The woman in front of me did nothing but huff and moan. Did she think I was pinching DD to make her miserable. I got to the stage that if she huffed once more I was going to dump DD into her lap and ask her to do better!

She fell asleep about half an hour before the flight landed!

We let other people get off before we disturbed her. One lovely lady sympathised with me as she got off saying I had tried everything to soothe her. Her attitude made me feel a lot better.

I will never allow my children to kick the seats, and will not accept another child doing it to he. I have always asked politely, and then spoken to the adult and so far it has worked.

We did have a problem this year when 6 of us flew, my sister checked us in as we were on a cruise so no internet access, but BA managed to muck up the seats picked by my sister. Eventually we managed to get DH and I in one row, three DC in the row behind (ages 3, 7 and 9 -not sure that would meet air safety regulations) and MIL sat separately.

The gentleman sat in the same row as us offered to move so DD2 could move to sit with us, but in the event, 5 minutes with my iPad then she slept for the rest of the flight.

We are flying later in the month. On one flight out of 4 we have not yet been allocated seats. I (or my sister) will check us in online 24 hours in advance and get the best seats available. I am not really fussy where we sit and will aim to have DD2 next to DH or more likely me, with the older children as close to one of us as I can get. I won't pay an extra £10 each for 5 of us to pre book seats for a 2 hour flight. At the same time, I won't expect other people to move, I will make the best of what there is. I will be surprised if I cannot get 2 seats together 24 hours in advance.

You can't blame the children, it's their parents fault, the worst behaviour I've seen on flights is from adults. Drunk, foul language, refusing to take their seats, being rude to the airline staff etc etc! And my pet hates, reclining seats with no thought for anyone else, hogging the arm rests, getting up every ten minutes to go to the toilet. Just why do half of them immediately get up to go to the toilet the instant the seatbelt sign goes off???

And incidentally, the flight they want us to pay for the seat allocation is BA, as a partner of Iberia who we are booked to fly with. BA flights have not got cheaper, they are now just charging for everything like Easyjet!

I have seen kids sat separately, on a BA flight to Jersey a family got on late, a girl of about 6 or 7 plus mum and toddler. The older girl was sat next yo a business man and puked on him. I would have been less than impressed.

Not the child's fault, obviously, and if it was her first flight, mother may not have known she would be sick.

DD1 once threw up a small amount on a flight. It was a Ryanair flight, we had been sat on the Tarmac with the seatbelt sign on for 2 hours waiting to take off. I caught the puke in my hands. I then asked DH (across the aisle) to pass me some tissues to clean my hands. He got up to get them and a stewardess went nuts. I offered her the puke in my cupped hands if DH couldn't pass me the tissues........ At this point she reconsidered how urgent it was for him to sit down again

So what would have happened if they all said no?

I'm guessing this question is to me?

It was an Airbus a380, so with well over 500 seats in cattle class alone, they were bound to find some people willing to move, under the circumstances. i.e. a 14-hour, full-fare flight, with DC aged 3 and 5.

And sure enough, they did. Because people, generally, are quite reasonable.

This wasn't some short-haul Ryanair flight, where we'd refused to pay for allocated seating, and then come onboard, exuding entitlement and expecting people to move. This was someone else's error, that we attempted to rectify, as soon as we noticed it, for the benefit of ourselves, and those seated next to our unaccompanied DC.

Having just travelled to the Ibiza with my 9 and 5 year olds, they were the ones who were impeccably behaved!! The remainder of the plane, full of men and women going to the clubbing area of the island were drinking, foul mouthed and generally badly behaved for the whole flight-at 6.30 in the morning!! They weren't even 18-25 years old-most were well into their 30s and should have known better. I also felt for the cabin crew-I even heard one of them saying to a woman after she demanded something 'you can have it when you ask me nicely' which ironically is something your would say to a child!

I have to say that badly behaved children are my bug bear at the best of times, but on a flight where there is limited space, it's even worse and there is no excuse for it! My children are always angels

I find that badly behaved adults are generally much, much worse than badly behaved children. We don't go to certain parts of the city centre even in Saturday afternoons because the behaviour of groups of adults (often stag and hen groups) is atrocious, even at 2pm. Those groups people on a plane would be a nightmare.