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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be horrified by children´s behaviour on flight?

151 replies

Happy36 · 03/08/2014 16:11

Am I unreasonable to think that one should keep an eye on one´s children during a flight and try to ensure that their behaviour does not upset other passengers unnecessarily?

Just had a horrendous experience with what felt like a whole plane full of children (not toddlers - children aged between 5 and 15) screaming, shouting, running around, dropping rubbish, bouncing over the seats, ignoring the airline staff. Children will be children, that much can´t be denied, but what horrified me was the parents´ total oblivion to the situation.

Also I felt sorry for the airline staff and wonder whether there are any possible ways for airlines to encourage passengers more strongly against indulging in anti-social behaviour.

OP posts:
LoxleyBarrett · 05/08/2014 08:21

I understand your frustration JM. But none of it is the fault of the other passengers and they should not be inconvenienced by it. If the airline or booking agent were at fault, then they should have arranged accomodation, compensation and new flights, not expected others on the flight to sort it for you.

JapaneseMargaret · 05/08/2014 08:29

But we didn't expect other passangers to sort it for us...? We expected the airline to sort it for us.

Either way, passangers were going to be inconvenienced. And surely it would be a greater inconvenience to deal with a 3 or 5 YO for 14 hours, than it would be for a pair of travellers to simply move seats.

Or am I missing something?

UriGeller · 05/08/2014 08:35

Public transport.

JapaneseMargaret · 05/08/2014 08:39

Private jets are clearly the only way forward. Grin

hesterton · 05/08/2014 08:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JapaneseMargaret · 05/08/2014 08:45

I know, me too hesterton.

If people don't want to move, they can just decline. If they're OK with moving, they agree to it.

If someone is so emotionally invested in 36C, that they couldn't possibly countence 68B, then so be it. No-one's being forced to do anything they don't want to do.

Luckily, I think, most people are fairly understanding when it's a genuine error.

BadLad · 05/08/2014 08:50

If someone is so emotionally invested in 36C, that they couldn't possibly countence 68B

I'd never be emotionally invested in a seat, but if I'm on a twelve-hour flight, there's no way I'm giving up my window seat for a middle seat.

Montegomongoose · 05/08/2014 08:54

We used to fly with Universal Aunts (old lady here).

They often had up to ten of us to get from stations, across London and onto planes home.

One look from a benign-looking old dear was enough to keep us all silent and well-mannered.

Most flights I've done in the last five years, I've wished for a few of them on board.

There should be an airport scanner to weed out the kickers and the runners.

hesterton · 05/08/2014 08:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hesterton · 05/08/2014 08:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LoxleyBarrett · 05/08/2014 08:59

"Either way, passangers were going to be inconvenienced. And surely it would be a greater inconvenience to deal with a 3 or 5 YO for 14 hours, than it would be for a pair of travellers to simply move seats."

No - because you wouldn't have allowed that to happen - somebody had to move to accommodate someone else's error.

JapaneseMargaret · 05/08/2014 08:59

Right, BadLad, so you say no when asked. No big deal.

Other people won't mind, under the circumstances.

Slongette · 05/08/2014 08:59

Ah man I've got an 11hr flight on Thursday with DS 9 months and I'm crapping myself about it.

DS is not a cuddly baby, I've booked with BA and have requested seats where the drop down baby seat/bed thing is..... I'm making sure I've got plenty of food, toys and milk so that he is entertained.

Not sure what else I can do to make sure it is not an horrific flight for us and those around us....

Slongette · 05/08/2014 09:00

Oh and to top it off his top two teeth have just started to come through - yay!

JapaneseMargaret · 05/08/2014 09:00

Nobody had to move. People were asked to move, and either said no, or yes.

rookiemater · 05/08/2014 09:02

Sadly JapaneseMargaret I suspect mumsnet has a lot to do with peoples reluctance to move airline seats Grin.

I have read so many threads where people refuse to take the necessary action of paying or securing seats for their young family together as it's the airlines responsibility and then expect others to move for them.

Indeed we were on our flight to France this summer and there was a family split up with a distressed child, my first thought was is there anything we can do to help (not really with 3 seats), then my second less noble thought was that we have paid for our seats and so should the other family.

If I was in your situation now I'd make loud reference to the fact that you had booked seats together and the airline had changed things and be very grateful for anyone who did change seats.

JapaneseMargaret · 05/08/2014 09:03

Slongette - get a few boxes of Thorntons on your way through duty free, and give them to your closest neighbours. Creates a huge amount of goodwill, and people are far less likely to get arsey with you when the inevitable happens!

Only1scoop · 05/08/2014 09:03

It's very unusual for a 3 year old to be separated from a parent.

hesterton · 05/08/2014 09:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JapaneseMargaret · 05/08/2014 09:06

rookie, as it goes, we had a couple of internal Ryanair flights during our trip, and checked and triple-checked the seat allocations on those flights. All was good!

Bloody Emirates Airbus, on the other hand, and they couldn't manage it...!

BadLad · 05/08/2014 09:12

Right, BadLad, so you say no when asked. No big deal.

Indeed. If you ask, politely, and I equally politely decline, then nobody is being unreasonable. But you seemed to imply that I was being unreasonable if I didn't move when you said "emotionally invested in 36C".

I'd probably ask people around my wife, if I was separated from her, if I could sit next to her, but be perfectly fine if I was told "no". But the tantrums that people apparently throw on Ryanair and such airlines when they can't sit next to their family (not you - lots of previous threads) most certainly are unreasonable. Especially if they're trying to turf people out of their supplement-paid seats.

If I were short, I'd be more willing to move, perhaps.

JapaneseMargaret · 05/08/2014 09:16

But you seemed to imply that I was being unreasonable if I didn't move when you said "emotionally invested in 36C".

I wasn't implying anything. No offence, but I hadn't even noticed you until your 08:50:09 post, which was after mine where I said that. :)

BadLad · 05/08/2014 09:20

Well, not me personally, but anyone who didn't move out of their seat I thought you were deeming to be unreasonable.

No offence taken

Notso · 05/08/2014 09:43

We decided not to go abroad this year because DS2 and DS3 were so bad on the plane last year.
We tried to keep them quiet and stop DS2 kicking the seat and messing with the tray he stopped for a bit then carried on and if he wasn't doing that he was screaming.
I apologised to the people around us offered to swap with the woman who's seat he was kicking but she refused.
There isn't a lot you can do on a plane to distract a grumpy, tired, bored toddler and baby. We had toys and snacks but they were just too past it to be bothered with them. We booked flights to coincide with nap time but it was delayed by an hour and they insisted on taking the buggy so by the time we got on the plane they were over tired and naggy.
I was on the verge of tears it was so awful.
On the way back the plane was quieter, so we had more room, not delayed be they slept the whole time.

Marylou62 · 05/08/2014 09:47

As a nanny I have flown longhaul with children many a time...I always kept them seated and with me...cant help the earache crying though..When we flew with our own DCs ...again they weren't allowed to run around...I do blame the parents though.
I flew to Turkey with my DD..she turned 18 on the flight and I had ordered champagne to celebrate...we paid to sit together..A women got on with 3 DDs and almost demanded that one of us move! Cabin crew sorted it out and I found myself looking after her 2 oldest aged about 4 and 7. They were lovely...but mum was a nightmare...on take off she was almost hysterical...telling her DDs to 'hold hands sweeties...we wont crash...I promise'! The rest of the night flight the girls were very well behaved dispite mum trying her best to wind them up. The toddler screamed the whole flight...again if earache then there is not much that can be done but I think mum was to blame...Mum then got into an argument with lady in front as apparently toddler was pulling hair and mum just let it happen...On landing...not joking...she let the toddler crawl under the seat and then screamed at older child who had to pull baby out from under the seat...mum then made her climb over seat whilst mum climbed over too to sit next to me with recaptured baby...Cabin crew were shouting at her to sit down and shes shouting at all her children...It was a nightmare and I was glad she wasn't in the same hotel as us...The 2 older children were lovely and clearly embarrassed by their mums behaviour. The flight home was bad...screaming baby again but not as bad. I often think of those children.