In wanting us to go away/do something different for Christmas this year?

[Helensita]

I know it's early to be talking about the subject but it cropped up in conversation yesterday when one of my young sons mentioned Christmas and I just said to my DH "I'd love to go somewhere sunny, by the sea and have a radically different Christmas, just the four of us, no slaving over a hot stove, no stresses over opening presents and arguments about whose toy gets assembled first by Daddy, no Daddy feeling exhausted and stressed out over instructions to said toys and (for me) no crashingly dull PIL to contend with. (They always come to us at Christmas and stay for a week. They live 300 miles away!) DH's face was a picture at the prospect of "rocking the boat" on Christmas Day.

Marvellous

Where do you go? Looking for sunny recommendations at Xmas. Thanks. H

thegreylady this will be the third Christmas since my father died. My mother has my brother & his crowd in the next village to her & several neighbours who in the past invited her & dad for Christmas when we were doing other things. We have seen her (or her & Dad) for the last 4 Christmases. I do have ILs as well.

Just because she is widowed I do not see why I have to see her over Christmas - it has never been the case that I would see her every Christmas in the past. Unfortunately she is likely to throw her toys out of the pram & decline my DB's offer of hospitality, because that is what she is like. There will be passive-aggressive huffing & moodiness. Last Christmas with her was bloody awful.

Shame on me eh?

Not shame on you at all.

I thought thegreyladys post was plain nasty.

Thanks

Errr I don't get a Christmas break (till they leave just before New Year which they don't celebrate. By which time I'm too shattered and worn down with ennui to hold a New Year's Day party for our friends which I love. :(

Too true knittedjimmychoos - too true!

Ooooh I bet it is quickly heads to Google to check if there are direct flights and hotels with kids activities

Xmas at home just the four if us sounds lovely (no PILs) but alas, if we're home they'll turn up with every expectation of having the same Xmas they have every year with us. Hence my desire to physically remove myself from their reach...

Can I ask why the PILs don't rotate with your BIL? Doesn't seem fair!

Like your plan to escape somewhere lovely so things have to change - happy planning ooh then enough energy to celebrate new year when you get back, too!

Presents aren't the problem. Insufferably dull and boring in-laws are. That's why I want to get away.

Ps just to be sure - hide the PILs passports!!!

The BILs don't have kids and often just please themselves by going away to Dubai for example. The PILs adore our two sons (fair enough) and just want to do Christmas with us every year as it's exciting for them to watch kids opening presents etc (again all fair enough.) Howevwr I have to do all the cooking and most of the clearing up
(DIL helps with washing up always bless him) and then the post-festive slump over the next few days/week is enough to drive me insane with despair.

Haha! They won't fancy travelling abroad anyway at Xmas. FIL is in fine fettle but had heart surgery a couple of years ago and I know they haven't been abroad since. Plus taking them away with us does not solve the central issue.

Thanks. They live far and minimum stay is always five days - shudder even more - they visit us (to see grandchildren really) around six times a year for a week at a time as well as every Christmas and children's birthdays :(

my biggest obstacle probably DH who is lovely but won't do/say anything to upset his bossy mother

Its probably because its easier to upset you......you have to change that .

I do feel for you, being spanish etc I can imagine the xmas you would like...

I am afraidf you need to put your foot down.

Yes, do put your foot down. I used to go away every year before I met DH as my family are v religious about it, and I am not. Now, we do every other year away (India last year), and when we are at home I host PILs who are ok to be fair but I find the whole - presents,, dinner, in front of the telly thing - just too tedious.

Can you give your DH a choice - he stays at home with the PIL to give them what they want, with the kids and you go off to somewhere exciting on your own, or you can go together as a family. A family that doesn't include PILS. Honestly, your PILS would get over it - really they would. And if they didn't, just how upseting would it be?

Travailtotravel - the option of me going away on my own and leaving my two young sons behind at Christmas is unrealistic at best. I couldn't do it to my little ones. It would cause real problems in my marriage. Hence why i'm so keen to go away as a family of four (obviously without the PILs as I'm trying to avoid them.) Agree that the PILs would get over it if we all went away this Christmas (they'd have to) and even if they didn't, I don't really mind. My husband however would mind very much as the fallout/nagging/passive-aggressive hissy fit from his Mum would be more than he's willing to put up with. Nice idea though....