Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

to take three maternity leaves from one job?

52 replies

bedraggledmumoftwo · 03/08/2014 10:02

I am still considering having a third baby. Jury is still out. However, if I did get pregnant again, that would be the third time with the same employer and I imagine my boss and colleagues would think I was taking the piss!

There are plenty of people with more than two kids out there- did they all change jobs or become a sahm before the third one... I can't help but think that although I am legally entitled, it would be unreasonable of me to take a third lot of maternity leave while still in this job?!

OP posts:

Lottiedoubtie · 03/08/2014 10:03

Yanbu at all. Don't let the guilt get to you.

KnackeredMuchly · 03/08/2014 10:04

I'd feel guilty but what other option is there?

Jinsei · 03/08/2014 10:04

Yanbu at all. As a manager (with only one child), it would not occur to me to think you were taking the piss. :)

bumpiesonamission · 03/08/2014 10:06

How long have you been in the job? If it was back to back then I'd feel guilty but if there are breaks then why not??!!

however · 03/08/2014 10:08

I did. Didn't give it a second thought.

Original poster

bedraggledmumoftwo · 03/08/2014 10:08

Been there five years total- inc 2x1yr mat leave and almost a year back in the middle. I wouldn't

OP posts:

tilliebob · 03/08/2014 10:09

Eh? I had three mat leaves from my job - over a period of 9 years, but I was there 17 years in total. Never crossed my mind that it would be an issue - then again, I'm public sector, not working for a private company.

Original poster

bedraggledmumoftwo · 03/08/2014 10:10

I am still on ml with the second. I wouldn't want them too close together but i will be 35 soon do couldn't leave it years if i did decide to try for another

OP posts:

maddening · 03/08/2014 10:11

Do men who have 3 children while in the same job feel guilty? No - so why should you?

You can legally split your maternity leave so you could take 5 months and your dh 4 all at stat maternity pay (which the government pays not your employer) and while replacement cover costs for recruitment and training it can be a good opportunity to trial someone who may become full time if another post opens up (which happened where I work)

Original poster

bedraggledmumoftwo · 03/08/2014 10:12

Tilliebob, if i could have spread them over nine years i wouldn't question it, but this would basically be one year on one year off over and over!

OP posts:

onedev · 03/08/2014 10:13

I've had 3 with the same employer - first after 6 years, then back a year & off for a year & back a year & off for a year again! I've now been back for 2 years & I've no intention of leaving them (although haven't ruled out a 4th maternity leave). As long as you're not breaching your terms & conditions, then there's no issue.

Original poster

bedraggledmumoftwo · 03/08/2014 10:14

Quite surprised that i am not being jumped on for being selfish!

OP posts:

SocksRock · 03/08/2014 10:14

I did this. And then resigned a week after I got back from the third lot of leave. Don't feel guilty, these things happened.

Lottiedoubtie · 03/08/2014 10:19

You don't have a choice OP that's why you're not being jumped on! How you plan your family is always going to be up to you and your DH. The fact that you impact on your employer by taking ML is a side effect you can't control. If your DH doesn't have to feel guilty nor do you IMO.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 03/08/2014 10:25

But only one person in your relationship can give birth.......its not as if the option was open to both of you and you did all three. You work full time. In order to reproduce you must get pregnant.

You could take less Maternity Leave if you were so inclined but thankfully the law is on your side with this, amd a year off is available as an option to you. A protected right.

Original poster

bedraggledmumoftwo · 03/08/2014 10:29

Thank you for all the supportive replies!

OP posts:

grobagsforever · 03/08/2014 10:30

My boss is about to take her fourth lot in 9 years. It's fine!

Christelle2207 · 03/08/2014 10:32

I've just gone back after my first mat leave, worked at same firm 7years. They only pay me SMP, and given how hard I have worked when there, I shall not feel guilty if I go off again. I imagine I would feel awkward going off on mat leave #3 but it's tough really isn't it. I think we need to think of things in terms of legal entitlement rather than the emotional side of letting our employers down.
I know one woman at my work who went off on her first leave after less than one year then took leaves 2&3 in quick succession. So now, 4 years after starting she has spent more time on ML than she has actually working. That is possibly taking the piss a bit, but if you've spent years as a loyal employee you can hold your head up high I reckon.

bigkidsdidit · 03/08/2014 10:46

I would feel bad, although I know I shouldn't. I moved jobs between baby one and two (for other reasons) and am glad I didn't impose two mat leaves on one boss. In my job (academia) it really does hurt your boss if you're off as they don't get cover.

slightlyglitterstained · 03/08/2014 10:49

One of the overlooked benefits of hiring women is that they tend to stick around longer than men. Have seen this in a few workplaces - it often does really help to have "old hands" around, who remember why X was done 5 years ago.

Agree with other posters - it is a legal entitlement, so think of it that way. Would also suggest that it need not be a year out next time - the rules on leave are getting a lot more flexible from next spring, so you and your partner could share leave, and there's a bit more freedom in how you share it to suit both you and your employers.

PenelopePitstops · 03/08/2014 10:53

Small business or big company?

Mat leave is a killer for small businesses but you are entitled to it.

tilliebob · 03/08/2014 10:53

My grand life plan was 3 mat leaves over 5 years but life doesn't work that way. My first two were come back from mat leave one, work p/t for a year, and just when I was due to go back f/t, I skipped off onto mat leave two . Life was following the plan at that point. It all went tits up after that!

Chunderella · 03/08/2014 10:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 03/08/2014 10:57

I know I shouldn't feel uncomfortable with it, but I have to admit I do. I'm in a team of 12, two are on their third lot of maternity leave, one has just come back from her third. Two others have had two lots.

We don't get cover, we just have to manage and they invariably want to come back on very reduced hours. One is now on ten hours a week. We never see her as it's 'not worth coming in to the office' so she always works at home. And she still expects (and gets) the company car.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 03/08/2014 11:01

Where it isnt Pregnant Ladies fault that your employer doesnt get cover during Mat Leave though.

Flip

1 2 3