Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it is unacceptable to give someone a pet as a surprise?

66 replies

CruCru · 02/08/2014 17:05

I keep hearing about people who have pets because someone have them as a surprise. I would go loopy if someone gave me a pet without checking it was okay. I love cats and dogs but don't want one of my own (allergic, doesn't fit in with our lifestyle, think I plain have enough to do). AIBU?

OP posts:
MagpieMama · 02/08/2014 17:06

YANBU they're living creatures not gifts, least of all surprise ones.

treaclesoda · 02/08/2014 17:08

Yanbu, it's a terrible idea. If someone gave me a pet as a surprise, I'd give it back to them - if pet keeping is an idea they are so keen on, they would presumably be happy to look after it themselves.

Original poster
CruCru · 02/08/2014 17:08

Looking back, I'm sure that we got one of our cats because a friend of my mums said "Cru, how would you like a kitten?" Without checking it was okay beforehand.

OP posts:
StrawberryMouse · 02/08/2014 17:11

I agree. I was given a puppy as a Christmas surprise by an ex boyfriend. The relationship was failing, we weren't allowed a dog in our rental house and I was about 21 so we both worked full time and were off partying every weekend. He weed everywhere, the house was a new build so beige and cream all over. A dog was the last thing we needed.

When we split up I had to rehome both myself and the dog as I was still renting at the time and pets weren't allowed.
Luckily my father reluctantly agreed to take him in the end (and still has him and loves the old thing!) but it was a complete nightmare.

Perfectlypurple · 02/08/2014 17:12

It depends. My dh would love a dog. It's me that won't say yes for now - maybe in the future. If I surprised him with a dog he would love it.

financialwizard · 02/08/2014 17:12

Unless it was my husband I'd be fuming. He is the only one opposed to getting a dog in our house at the moment.

Chiana · 02/08/2014 17:13

YANBU!!!!

StrawberryMouse · 02/08/2014 17:14

Can I just clarify that the dog weed everywhere, not the ex. Grin

greenbananas · 02/08/2014 17:15

You are right of course.

However, I can think of exceptions. Ds1 is desperate for a dog. We have absolutely no intention of getting one (had to rehome our much loved cat because he was getting so allergic to her) but, if we could grant his wish, I think it would be okay to surprise him - I would love to see the joy on his face.

Chottie · 02/08/2014 17:16

No.

Lally112 · 02/08/2014 17:16

Depends on the person and circumstances, I love it when someone buys me a surprise animal. DH IF YOU FIND THIS I WANT THAT ARGENTO FOAL!!! I have been bought two cats as presents - love them and still have them, Got my bitch for my birthday two years ago and my ferret for xmas, even with a santa outfit on. I get pissed off when people buy me toiletries or make up, I always think yeh a lot of thought went into that didn't it? I last wore makeup in December at an xmas function.

financialwizard · 02/08/2014 17:16

Strawberry my exh gave one to my 3 year old (at the time) son expecting me to look after a boxer pup, work full time and go to night school. Never sure wtf he expected apart from the pup to go back to the breeder.

TheWholeOfTheSpoon · 02/08/2014 17:16

DH's BFF bought him a puppy. We already had an 8 month old puppy and I didn't want another so I made his friend keep it. Funny thing was, I ended up feeling bad about it and bought the gift puppy's brother! Blush

Latara · 02/08/2014 17:19

Yanbu, my sister's boss bought her a puppy recently (not toilet trained)as a surprise and my sister couldn't take it due to having an unsuitable lifestyle for a puppy (immaculate flat, away every weekend etc).

Her boss ended up keeping the puppy with her own dog, god knows what she was thinking!

D0oinMeCleanin · 02/08/2014 17:19

I think it depends on the household.

I was given a dog as a gift. It was a gift the giver knew would be adored, cared for and spoiled.

The cat I suspect we are about to given, will be loved and adored and spoiled by the children and I will ensure that it is given the right care.

Any animal given to me would be given the utmost care or found the right home via the right channels.

In a "normal" household, I would agree, it is not a good idea.

Egghead68 · 02/08/2014 17:19

It is terrible to buy pets as surprise presents.

Egghead68 · 02/08/2014 17:22

Even if you know someone really wants a dog or whatever it's still better to let them choose one rather than spring one on them.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 02/08/2014 17:23

I wouldn't like to be given a pet as a surprise. They are a responsibility you should choose to take on not one you have too.

EmeraldLion · 02/08/2014 17:24

I also think there's the odd exception.

We bought my sister a kitten as a surprise for her birthday (12th). However, my mum had made noises about getting another cat a few weeks before anyway (without my sister knowing), and we checked with my mum before getting it. The joy on her face was just amazing.

The kids are desperate for a dog, we've said we'll get one when we move next year. I think we'll probably get one as a surprise for them and probably for Christmas.

Greyhound · 02/08/2014 17:25

I went out and bought a dog without telling dh. It was a v naughty thing to do. Dh was, understandably, not v chuffed.

Of course, he came round to the pup and is sitting cuddling him on the couch right now.

ENormaSnob · 02/08/2014 17:26

Depends on the circumstances imo.

Ive just got a pony that is to be my xmas gift.

Another one for dd and a puppy would complete me Grin

londonrach · 02/08/2014 17:47

I spent years asking for a pet from my parents. Then one year I was given a cage for my birthday by family friends with total agreement with my parents. Picked up my gerbil 2 days later. Had to buy it myself with birthday money and promise to clear him out and pay for all food etc. I did all I promised. Best pressie ever. Very sad when he died. Why do they live such short lives....

londonrach · 02/08/2014 17:47

But agree a pet shouldn't be a pressie ever....

londonrach · 02/08/2014 17:50

My gerbil spent a lot of time out of cage... With hindsight two would have been better and a deeper tank.

AgentZigzag · 02/08/2014 17:52

DD2 was watching Topsy and Tim yesterday and they were moving house and the neighbour gave them a rabbit as a present as they were pulling away from the house!

I might have missed something, but the parents said it was OK to keep it.

Crap message, although my hatred of the program and all the cast might have made me more Hmm than I normally am when I see elephants actively enjoying their time in circuses on children's TV (usually American).