to not have special kids food at a wedding?

[ikeaismylocal]

We are getting married next week, it only just came to my attention that people sometimes have a specific part of the buffet dedicated to "kids food" a friend of mine who is extremely limited in what he eats said "don't worry about doing something special for me I'll just take some food from the kids food section".

We weren't planning on having any "kids food" despite having 20 guests who are children, we have a toddler and he just eats normal food, it didn't really occur to me that there needed to be special kids food, there will be quite a selection of food including some quite plain options like pie and bread/crackers and cheeses.

Aibu to provide the same food for everyone? If we should provide food specifically for the kids what should it be?

I keep panicking about soft drinks and going out and buying more, especially as it's so hot at the moment I don't think we can have too many soft drinks!

The thinks that will be fairly plain are pasta salad, crisps, baguette, cheese, ham, water melon, cheese pie. Not really kids menu type food but I hope no one will starve!

Oh and a sweetie table which I'm sure the children will love!

I went to a wedding last year where I didn't get a choice and the food served was haggis which I absolutely hate. I was three months pregnant so couldn't not eat and come to think of it I'm not convinced you should eat haggis when pg anyway...

My point is a buffet is my idea of wedding heaven because there is something for everyone even if some people do only eat sandwiches. We did it and just made sure we had stuff that was veggie and diabetic friendly. We also had huge bowls of chips at one end which went down well and filled up the truly fussy!

That sounds fine.

Maybe just let him /his table go up first so there's no chance things have run out.

And keep a box of bread sticks and a packet of crisps back jut in case.

There's nothing "exotic" so no reason for a separate kids table for sure so he's kind of worrying over nothing. But you can always suggests he brings something with him if he's still a bit worried.

"he's quite embarrassed about the things he can and can't eat."

Can and can't or will and won't?

I wouldn't mind catering for people who have genuine allergies and health problems that prevent them eating certain foods, but I would mind having to do so for someone who is just being fussy/faddy.

Exactly, JellyDiamond.

Yanbu

I have recently attended a fancy wedding. Where my dd was served freshly made chicken nuggets chips and beans

She wouldn't eat it. And instead shared my food

My older dc would have eaten the normal food too tbh

there is nothing on your list that children can't eat, apart from dislikes or intolerances. Apart from really strong tasting/spicy foods I don't get this whole kids food thing.

YANBU! Your fussy friend is the problem, not the kids.

Most people I know avoid kids food and give their children adult food anyway (just smaller amounts).

I wouldn't expect this at a buffet meal. I've been to weddings where kids have been able to choose something like sausage and mash rather than a fancier dish which has been served to the adults.

Absolute nonsense that there should be a table of beige junk 'for the children'.

Yes, some adults and children alike would prefer plainer, not highly seasoned ec. foods - but it sounds as if you are providing that!

Plain breads
Plain single foods both vegetarian and non: ham, chicken wings, cheeses, hard boiled eggs?
Plain fruit of some sort: melon, grapes ideal - maybe a platter of satsumas and small apples would be nice.
Snacky carb foods - crackers, melba toasts, oatcakes, cheese straws.
Plain but mixed foods: a plain-ish pasta salad or rice salad plus leafy tomato salad.

That will be fine!

Op I wouldn't even ask the parents of those 20 children if their kids will eat what's on the menu, you will just be inviting people to start being fussy and end up stressing yourself out unnecessarily.
Your menu sounds fine!

My DD isnt a big eater, but she would happily munch on most of what you plan to serve at the buffet, Kids will eat anything if they hungry enough.

I went to a "do" the other day with a separate kids table for food. It was afternoon tea in a very posh hotel.

The kids table was lower down and had plain ham, cheese and egg sandwiches and little cakes and scones. The adult food was all on posh stands (just perfect for little hands to knock over) and were "posh" sandwiches and big scones and little cakes.

What happened was that dd took one look at the posh sandwiches and rejected her boring cheese one in favour of smoked salmon and happily ate her way through the adult food.

Ds rejected both the adult and child sandwiches and ate the breadsticks I had brought him.

What you have done sounds fine. Perhaps suggest kids go up first to make sure the plain things don't run out.

If he will eat a plain burger, make him a plain sandwich with cold beef, put it aside for him.

OP please don't ask around, you do not need a list of pfb dietary requirements the week before your wedding!

What you have is fine, honestly.

Ikea, is your friend my DH's friend??

On the 'any dietary requirements' bit on the RSVP to our wedding (knowing we had at least one coeliac and a peanut allergy), his wife put that her DH has a 'delicate stomach' and 'can he please have a special meal consisting of any of the following'.

We know this chap quite well and he does not have a 'delicate stomach', he's just a fussy eater - his own words. So I was a bit (more tbh as had plenty of other things to do, like sorting out decent alternatives for the people with actual intolerances) and told DH to sort it out with his friend and the venue. The friend ended up with a double portion of the kids' option (something fairly plain, chicken I think, as opposed to red meat with veg). He was quite happy, but in contrast, the three little girls at our wedding (not many of our friends had children then) were trying things off their parents' plates. So YANBU. I agree with pp that kids will probably try things and find something they can eat, so no need for a separate children's menu! Your friend will probably find something he can eat, surely?

I think my friend will find something to eat, and actually his eating issues are verging on an eating disorder really, poor guy :( He often doesn't eat in the day just an evening meal that has to be something very specific. I imagine he'll eat before the wedding (doesn't satrt until 5) and then hopefully he'll be able to have some crisps/bread.

We have had no replies about food requirements despite us asking to be informed to we can provide nice food for everyone. I know that there is a handful of vegiterians so we are having lots of vegi options but I'm not sure about anything else, I guess if it was that much of a big issue people would have told us!

Kids at our wedding just had smaller portions of the adults. No special meals.

Evening buffet was typical finger food so again just had that.

No special food at all

Honestly, OP, what you've got sounds fantastic. If people don't tell you about requirements they cannot expect to be catered for. If they're ungracious about the food you're kindly laying on for them, frankly they don't deserve a second of time worrying about them.

Enjoy your day – and the food!

I went to a wedding once where children's food was supplied. My DS's children qualified as children and he was furious that they'd be served with chicken nuggets. They finished up with roast lamb like the rest of us.

In some cheapo restaurants, there's a kids' menu that usually consists of burgers, fish fingers and the like and those awful things called baked beans. Why can't there be smaller portions of the adult food? Beyond their wit to think of that

As the parent of a fussy eater I would be delighted with a normal buffet. Any specially designed kids crap is just an excuse for him not to try anything new.