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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be miffed at gift..

63 replies

Squigglypig · 01/08/2014 07:44

Well I probably am. It's our wedding anniversary. Neither of us have ever been great at gifts and we'd said to each other this year not to spend too much as we've just bought ourselves some new furniture.

Anyway his gift this morning to me was a set of writing pencils. I don't mind that, although I don't use them much.

No, the gutting but was when I read on the side "Squiggly Pig Accounts Lady". I hate the word "Lady" as it makes me think of toilets but worse is fact all he can think to get put on is what I do for a living! I am proud of my job but surely he could have found something better than that? We have daft nicknames he could have used. Frankly he could have written Squiggly Pig Is Awesome and that would have been better.

I don't know, it's not like I'm great at buying presents myself but being defined in his eyes as "Accounts Lady" is infinitely depressing.

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 01/08/2014 08:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Squigglypig · 01/08/2014 08:22

I think pippistrelle hit the nail on the head as to why I was feeling sad about it. You've all helped me see his side.

In my defence re the chopping board, I am a busy working mum, the anniversary crept up on me and it was literally the only thing I could find that was suitable down our localish gifty high street on my day off with my 3 1/2 year old.

OP posts:
minibmw2010 · 01/08/2014 08:25

So you are upset at a gift of personalised pencils which would take time even though you've admitted your present for him was a last minute high street buy? I don't think you have any reason to be sulking here !!!!

Original poster
Squigglypig · 01/08/2014 08:26

It is literally the two words at the end of the inscription that upset me. If he'd just put Squigglypg that would have been great. I won't chuck them in the bin, but I may write over them "Queen Awesome".

OP posts:
unweavedrainbow · 01/08/2014 08:26

You expect him to put more effort in than you. Why?

Original poster
Squigglypig · 01/08/2014 08:26

I know - IABU.

OP posts:
Missunreasonable · 01/08/2014 08:28

Is he a SAHD or a working dad?

If he is a SAHD then the chopping board is akin to buying a SAHM an iron for a gift (even if it is all steamy and fab).

If he is a working dad then you have no right to sulk seeing as you admit to forgetting and buying the chopping board last minute. His gift required more thought and planning.

At least your gift is for you personally rather than a household item.

Jinglebells99 · 01/08/2014 08:29

He probably thought you would use them at work so wouldn't want too personal inscription. I think it is quite sweet and more thoughtful than a wooden chopping board. Have you thought about what would have been an acceptable happy gift given the theme was wooden?!

Seriouslyffs · 01/08/2014 08:29

Yabu.
Do I glean from your post as well you're away?
YABVVVU

Albertatata · 01/08/2014 08:29

Ha squiggly at least his present was thoughtful, I think it's lovely - he obviously thought you would use them at work. I think you are being really harsh on the poor man. Send him a text saying sorry for being a knob!

At the end if the day, you got him a chopping board - did he sulk?

Bowlersarm · 01/08/2014 08:32

I'm sorry op but I think you are massively unreasonable. I think the pencils are equal to a blood catching board thingy in terms of can't be bothered presents,

It should be a bit of fun, and laughter, and you are being very grumpy.

Unless he could afford to buy you a wooden ski chalet or something. Then you'd have a point.

honeybeeridiculous · 01/08/2014 08:33

I might be strange but I think its a lovely thoughtful gift. All I ever get is flowers, which are of course lovely but at least your DH has put some thought into it with the wood theme Grin
Happy anniversary!!

MagnificentMaleficent · 01/08/2014 08:33

I think that's a sweet gift!

thegreylady · 01/08/2014 08:35

At least he bothered to have them personalised. They are thoughtful. He thought 'now what is made of wood?...pencils!' Then he thought,'I can't just give her pencils. I'll have them personalised.' Then he thought,'That might be a bit childish so what else can I put on them?' Then he thought,' maybe she'll use them at work so I can't put anything too sloppy or she'll be embarrassed." Finally he thought,"I know, I'll put her job title then everyone will know they are hers! What a clever chap I am. She will love them, they are not too expensive but they are not just something grabbed in a hurry."
Yes a really lovely man.

Original poster
Squigglypig · 01/08/2014 08:37

He works as I do. I've just got to work this morning seriouslyffs - not sure how you've gleaned anything from my posts that would suggest I'm away?

The chopping board was not just a chopping board, it is beautiful and I had looked at everything else on that high street that was wooden. But yes, it's a household item. I'm not sure why his 5 minutes spent on "Not on the high street" or some such place putting in a filter for wood and then 2 minutes thinking of an inscription counts more than me looking round every shop on a high street for something suitable.

Anyway, I accept IABU and I have work to do so am off.

OP posts:
Anarchy99 · 01/08/2014 08:39

I would love a present like that - it sounds like he went to a lot of trouble.

TheVioletHour · 01/08/2014 08:47

Op do you feel a bit strung out/undervalued/stressed about your job? Just interesting that its the accounts lady bit that seems to niggle you most. And well done for being so gracious at the yabu responses.

Bowlersarm · 01/08/2014 08:53

No matter how beautiful you think the chopping board is, it's still just a kitchen item. Slightly akin to a woman getting a rather nice vacuum cleaner for Christmas.

I don't think there is anything wrong with either gift, but you have no more of a case to criticise his gift, than he has to criticise yours.

pippistrelle · 01/08/2014 08:55

I totally get why you might be miffed. And why he might be too, actually. But sulking really isn't the way to go. In the life of a marriage, this is an insignificant tiny bump in the road, nor a big Road Closed sign.

I've had my present now. He asked was there anything I'd like. I named a specific book. I got a dress. It's quite pretty, but it's in a style that would be seriously unflattering on me. If it fitted. It's disappointing.

I really do understand, OP.

TobyZiegler · 01/08/2014 08:55

I'd rather have the pencils than the chopping board. I actually think his present is thoughtful. And I think you're being a little bit childish for sulking and saying you're going to put them in the bin.

BreadForBrains · 01/08/2014 08:55

Yanbu, the inscription sounds as though it was done by a 5 year old, not a husband!

muffliato · 01/08/2014 08:58

How about no gifts next year just go out for a lovely meal or day out instead.
That's what we do although we're only 3 years in, and we don't have too much left over at the end of the month so we don't want to buy something unnecessary which the other person might not like. Saves all the angst and we both enjoy a lovely meal.

muffliato · 01/08/2014 08:59

And I hope you were joking about putting them in the bin. At least give them to your dd.

ilovesooty · 01/08/2014 09:00

What an ungracious response to his gift. Poor bloke.

RelocatorRelocator · 01/08/2014 09:00

I'd like both of your presents. Shall I pm you my address and you can post them on?

Dh and I don't do anniversary gifts but always try to do something nice together just the two of us. Works well for us.

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