To not understand why some parents think that having a tall child makes them a superior parent?

[coppingpandy]

Has anyone else noticed this? Some parents go on and on about having a tall child, as if it makes them better than everyone else, or as if it's because of something they've done parenting-wise.

I have noticed it both on here and in real life.

My DD's best friend has always been a fraction taller than DD, and for the past 7 years since they became friends at pre-school, her mum has not stopped going on about it. She mentions it all the time, as if it's medal-worthy that her DD is the tallest of the pair!

My DS is the youngest in his class, and so is quite small compared to lots of other children who are almost a year older than him. The mum of a very tall boy in his class is always mentioning the fact that DS is small and that her DS is so much taller. Again as if she deserves a bloody medal for her child being tall!

AIBU to think it's strange?

(Cue lots of parents protesting "But my child really is tall)

[LL12]

I know what you mean, had this with a cousin when our children were a year old.
She went on and on about how her child was above the 50th centile (above average) for length as if it made them super intelligent so therefor my child with ASD must obviously must be below the 50th centile.
Her face was a picture when I told her that actually my child had actually come off the chart for length, she was actually on about the 110th centile, she did come back to average out on the 80th centile over the years.

[MrTumblesBavarianFanbase]

I point out that my son is tall mainly as part of explaining that he is only 6, and often somebody is expecting a level of maturity (or literacy) from him which they would not expect if they knew his real age. I don't point it out to people who already know him, because they have eyes...

[Mintyy]

I have never noticed among my friends and acquaintances. Perhaps you need to mingle with some less tedious people!

[SpiceAddict]

I am one of the smaller females in my family, I am 5ft2. My DH is considered tall in his family at 5ft10 as both the males &females in his family are quite shot. Especially the girls - alot of them are below 5ft..

...so my in-laws comnent on the height of my DC constantly. They want them to be tall, because it is seen as more desirable. It does get annoying because there is nothing you can do about it. I hate being short- but probably because it was commented on all the time from when I was about 12 and just didn't grow anymore!

[MrsWinnibago]

MrTumble my friend's son is the same....6 but as tall as some 8 and 9 year olds. People assume he's much older.

[Twitches2]

sonlypuppyfat really?

Nearly every high st women's clothes store has got rid of it's Tall section (Dorothy P, New Look, Next) and now are only available online. So even buying new trousers involves a 5 shipping/return fee before I've even tried them on. Whereas most stores have a Petite section in store. Definitely not easier for tall women to buy clothes or shoes.

Don't get me wrong, I love being tall and it is fantastic as an adult female, but I wouldn't assume my friend has it easy because she's five foot. I happen to know she's afraid of the tube, for example, 'cause she can't see anything in the crowds and just gets swept along/regularly can't find her way out.

Swings and roundabouts.

[myotherusernameisbetter]

Cant say I've ever brought it up in conversation, but loads of others do and I find myself defending them to remind people that despite being 5'10, my 12 year old still wants to play in the park with his friends :(

Loads of others comment all the time and that's not necessarily a good thing. Even this morning I had a woman who I haven't seen since last summer exclaim "look at the size of you two!! (to my boys) - i thought X had grown but he is still tiny" She is quite short, her son's father is quite short, so the chances are her son will not be a tall man (but who knows!) I'm tall, my OH is tall so it would be unusual and worrying if the DSs were below average height. My eldest in particular is very self aware about it and has started stooping :(

[Rainicorn]

BoysClothes, your DS might be short now, but that may not always be the case. When I first met DH he was 16 and 5'5". He had a growth spurt when he was 17-18 and is now 6'3"

I have three tall children, I'm quite envious of parents with shorter children. Costs me a small fortune in clothes. Ds1 has been in adults clothes for over a year now, ds2 is just about there and although ds3 is 5, he is as tall as an 8 year old so younger children clothes sections are now out the window and he has to wear clothes for older children, which make him look too grown up don't really suit him. I am 5'6" and DS1 is nearly the same height as me, he has just turned 11.

[AgadorSpartacus]

What Sinister fish said ^^

Ds is v tall because DH is v tall. It's hard as a parent to hear him telling me about the pathetic height jibes at school and how smaller kids think it's ok to jump on his back to see who canhang on and how as a large part of his life is spent performing he loses out at auditions due to the height difference between him and his peers.

The people you have described appear to have more to their agenda than their child's height.

[MoreCrackThanHarlem]

I have come across this before.
Also parents of babies and children with competitive teething...'ooooh he's got 4 teeth you know, very advanced!' or 'he got his wisdom teeth in Reception! It must be my amazing parenting!'

Weird

[BeCool]

People ALWAYS comment on how tall the DD's are & how much taller they are than their own DC.

I usually reply with "well I am taller than you so I guess it makes sense - genetics being what they are" and this face >>

[AgadorSpartacus]

Oh and the expectations placed on a tall child too.

My ds best friends mum seems to think that my child will 'protect' hers when they are out together. I hate this. It's unfair and quite honestly bloody unlikely.

Anyone who uses their childs height to win some invisible competition is a bit of a dick.

[MrTumblesBavarianFanbase]

That's exactly it MrsW - he's taller than DD, who is nearly 9 and average height, andpeople ask if they ate twins, or ask which is the older one.

He was bumped up an age group for football "to be fair" so he plays for the Under 9s not the Under 7s... Physically he easily keeps up with older kids as he's very sporty, but he won't start school til September (we live abroad) and I often have to explain that he can't read well yet (plenty of his age-peers can't read at all), or defend his right to be in an under 7s play area with 3yo DS2 (DS1 is very gentle and little kids tend to love him, but parents who don't know him often give him the stink eye assuming he'll be a threat to their pfb - who is usually the one throwing stuff/ climbing the slide the wrong way/ smearing food about).

Then on MN I read that all tall children are "over tall" which is apparently a wierd way of being overweight, and even if a child isn't over weight they must be over fed if they are tall So I feel as though I have to point out that as DH is 6 ft 5, DS' height is genetic, not the result of too many pies...

I don't think mentioning a fact is boasting, if there is a context and reason for it.

[MrTumblesBavarianFanbase]

Are twins, not ate rwins - people never ask that! :o

[Goldenbear]

Where I live I've notice it's the other way around especially with girls until about 7. Small, slight, dots - babies, toddlers, preschoolers and young children. I've noticed parents in this area see at as some badge of honour- its the other extreme as in they've got it right with the diet and their children are not bigger than they should be. DS is and was small and skinny from about 5- no one ever commented. DD is 3.3 and 96cm, she's been hospitalised for asthma a few times and her measurements have been taken for medicine and they tell me she is below average but the number of people at DS's fairly lentil weavery school that tell me she is 'so tall?!' 'big', 'too big for that pushchair' (she's 30lbs) is ridiculous. I think it is purely because their toddlers and children at the school are tiny and this is definitely something to be proud of.

[Katkins1]

I'm 5'4. Daughter is 6 and almost up to my shoulders
She's just very tall. People usually say she's tall, I explain its her dad's genes and we move on. The only superior portends to come from herself who loves the idea of being tall and not being told off!

[queenofthemountain]

I have never ever come across this once, and I have 5 Dc. As a short arse myself (5ft 1) , I do actually think there are some practical benefits to being tall or at least not being short.
For boys I do think culturally it is not great to be short.'Big and strong' are associated with manliness, and I know my 19 yo DS felt sensitive about being shorter than his friends . he didn't grow a millimetre between 15 and 18, but has grown 2 inches in the last year and is about 5ft 7 now.

[PoirotsMoustache]

My DS is tall. People comment on it, and sometimes I will make a point of saying how old he is, as he is often mistaken for an older child, and therefore expected to behave like an older child.

I will respond if someone mentions it, usually along the lines of 'I don't know where he gets it from as I'm short and his father isn't particularly tall'.

I guess I am kind of proud that he's tall, although I couldn't explain why. I certainly don't think he's better than anyone else because of his height though! And he could end up being an average or even a short adult - height (or lack of it) in childhood doesn't necessarily mean the same in adulthood.

[fortyplus]

My two sons are 6'2" adults. I like tall, but that's probably because I'm 5'9" myself. I have male friends starting at about 5'5" - I certainly don't find them inferior in any way to my taller friends, that would be totally ridiculous. But if I could choose, I'd choose tall, so it pleases me that my sons are taller than average. If I'd married a jockey I'd probably be delighted if they'd turned out tiny. Everyone is different but there shouldn't be anything weong in expressing a preference for one physical characteristic over another. My two have rather mousy hair and I used to find it irritating that people go into raptures about blond hair. But I didn't think that they were being 'superior'. OP I think you're over sensitive

[Tangoandcreditcards]

Everyone in my DP's family is under 5'7" (I'm taller than all of them, including DP) and they are beyond excited that 75tb centile 6mo DS is maybe going to be tall. I think they'd feel the same if he had blue eyes and they all had brown, just excited about something new.

However, I think there is a general feeling that tall is good. There was a thread on here a while ago about whether or not you'd go out with someone shorter than you and the overwhelming majority said no.

bumbling 5'4" is actually above average height for a woman in the UK (avg height is 5'3.5" I think). I do think that people seem to think that 5'6" is average off a woman and 5'11" for men, when in fact it's significantly less (5'9" for guys IIRC)

And MrsW that "taller than me, and that's enough" is a watered down version of the same attitude that tall(er) is better. (Not having a go, I just think that preference for taller partners is socially, and perhaps instinctively, ingrained in us all).

[NellyNoodle1]

My ex's mother once asked if my mother had taken me to see a specialist to see why I didn't grow properly (I'm
5'1).

You do notice height comments when you're the short one - as well as people thinking it's hilarious to pick you up etc.

I have now solved the problem by every time someone says 'aren't you tiny' replying 'aren't you fat/ugly etc'. My height had never bothered me - it's not worth the upset there's nothing I can do about it. It does annoy me that it seems to bother other people. DP is 6'4 and often smacking his head off stuff so I'm sure being tall has the same amount of positives/negatives as being short.

Why people have to mention children's physical attributes at all puzzles me. Let's set them up to worry about something they can't change from an early age eh?

[fortyplus]

NellyNoodle1 the reverse is true too - I have a female friend who is 6'2" and attracts constant comments from total strangers: 'What's it like being that tall?', 'It can't be nice being that tall', 'What's the weather like up there' etc.