to not like people swearing in public?

[carlajean]

We had lunch outside a pub today. There were three guys at the only other table, which was very close to ours, and there was a fair amount of 'fucking this' and 'fucking that' going on. It was just me and my partner, no children, but I feel uncomfortable when people do this, and it spoilt what was otherwise a nice meal.
I swear myself, but not in those circumstances.
Perhaps we should have said something- but we didn't because we didn't know how they'd react.
Aibu to not like this, and would you have challenged them?

[AnAwfullyGoodOxymoron]

It's a pub. Yanbu to not like it. I would not challenge anyone re swearing in public unless there were children present.

They are just words.

[ThatBloodyWoman]

I have just said SirChenjin that I think persistent strong swearing in front of children is ott.

So fuck or cunt every 2nd word in front of children isn't really on.

But an overheard conversation between adults with a few fucks thrown in?

Not a big deal, really.

[skolastica]

I never swear, just something I never learned to do or wanted to do. I live in an area where some people swear a lot. Mostly it doesn't bother me. For anyone who worries about children picking it up - mine are grown, and certainly, when around me, don't swear - but I'm fairly certain that amongst their peer group, they swear just enough to show that they belong.

[DrunkenWhore]

YABU, you were in a pub!

I swear like a trooper. There are a few places were I will curb my swearing, around small children, in schools, nurseries, doctors etc, anywhere formal. Everywhere else I'll swear as I like. I do also swear in front of my kids, not intentionally, but it's part of my vocabulary so it slips out often. I never swear AT them though.

[ThatBloodyWoman]

I utterly agree Drunken.

It's swearing at children thats the pits.

[dawndonnaagain]

How kind of you Sirchenjin. The interesting thing is I am none of things listed. However, you keep pressing ahead with your lower middle class mores, it obviously makes you feel better.

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

I agree with Sirchenjin. It doesn't matter what affectations and status people place upon themselves, if you interact with other people they will judge you on what you do and say and 'label' you accordingly. Rightly or wrongly, if you swear then people around you will think of you in a certain way and it isn't likely to be positive.

I don't suppose it matters if you don't take on board what anybody else thinks about you anyway.

[SirChenjin]

How others see you dawn.... and I'm afraid your lower middle class mores cuts no ice with me. Was it supposed to?

[CatKisser]

If you don't know how to modify your language appropriately for the social situation, THAT's what people judge on, IMO.

I don't mind the swearing itself but when you hear a stream of Fs and Cs in an inappropriate setting I just think "God that person is REALLY socially inept!"

[ArgyMargy]

So all you people who think swearing is fine and just words etc. etc. Why on earth do you modify your language for children, doctors (wtf ??) or elderly? Either it's fine or it's not, surely?

[Bowlersarm]

I don't think my DH does, Argy. He doesn't really modify. I don't swear, but I don't mind him doing it ether.

[SirChenjin]

What about other who do mind him swearing Bowlers - or is that just their tough luck?

[Bowlersarm]

Guess so, SirCh. No one has commented. It's just the way he's always been.

[SirChenjin]

No-one would comment - probably scared of getting into a confrontation and being told to fuck off and mind their fucking business

[Bowlersarm]

Well, he's not aggressive in the slightest. But in a pub garden, a public space, I think we would be entitled to have our private conversation without people listening in, quite frankly, and having a view on any language we were using.

[Nanny0gg]

What about other who do mind him swearing Bowlers - or is that just their tough luck?

That does seem to be the consensus these days

But in a pub garden, a public space, I think we would be entitled to have our private conversation

Yep, you're in a public space so your conversation is unlikely to be entirely private.

[IDONTGIVVA]

Londonarch- My husband and I swear regularly, I swear probably less (yet I'm the scot!!!) than him (He's the Londoner) but I am the one that has the limited vocabulary not him! He swears certainly not due to less vocab but due to the fact that occasions/covo's warrant it! People who do not swear don't seem to realize this and that people are not always swearing just because they can.....but because sometimes they should!!

Don't get me wrong doing it just for the sake of doing it especially in front of kids is out of order imo!

[Nanny0gg]

There is no should about swearing. There is no should about using any word. There is always a choice.
Some choose to swear. Some choose to swear wherever they are and whatever their audience.

That (imo) is the problem.

[IDONTGIVVA]

I do modify my language to an extent not because I am embarrassed about the fact I SWEAR! but because there is a time and place for it as there is with all things IMO.

My parents don't swear nor do my in-laws but if the situation warrants it then all siblings/BIL/SIL will all use the language that we deem fit. In that instance it's more of a respect for your elders who don't swear.

All kids now a days swear regularly. I used to try to keep my child from hearing it but then it became all too familiar walking past people in the street, there is nothing you can do about it other than to teach them how to use the words appropriately.

[IDONTGIVVA]

NannyOgg

you don't reckon that sometimes nothing than "FfffffffUCK!!!" will do??

IMO!

[CatKisser]

All kids now a days swear regularly

No, all kids don't. A hell of a lot do but not all. I work in a school in a "posh" village in the North East. Our approach to swearing is "If you want to swear, fine, but if you're stupid enough to get caught by an adult then take the consequences, which are you ringing your mum and repeating it down the phone to her."

It works really well, but I thanked God and all his angels when Gregory's mum's phone went to answerphone. I REALLY didn't want her to hear him singing his appalling version of Lord of the Dance down the phone!

[IDONTGIVVA]

Yes they do just because teachers or parents don't hear them doesn't mean they don't!

They are far smarter/secretive than you/we think! And being in a "posh" school or "religious" school changes nothing believe me.

I am way too old to be comparing my childhood with kids nowadays but that was the first thing we learned "Do not let adults hear you or you will be in soooooooooo much trouble" and by god was that "Trouble" in those days!

[OldLadyKnowsSomething]

I'll admit that I have only glanced through repilies, but what is the general feeling where a grandmother does a lot of childcare, and also swears a lot, but punishes said dcs (physically) for using the same swearwords she uses all the time?

[SirChenjin]

Bowler - you know he's not aggressive, but swearing in public (I'm not talking about the odd swear word by the way, I am talking about the regular use of fuck etc, presume you are too?) shows a complete lack of consideration for those around you and makes you sound aggressive - so the vast majority of people will put 2 and 2 together and decide that hes an aggressive person who isn't going to stop swearing simply because they find it offensive, will probably tell that person to mind their fucking business, snd will avoid the confrontation.

If you behave in a certain way, others treat you in a certain way. ..

[SirChenjin]

And being a public space like a pub garden is probably more reason to think about your language if others can hear you. I'm guessing you wouldn't want to hear someone talking about "fucking pakis or niggers" for example?