Hi Guys,
I need some help with a little dilemma Im facing. So as not to drip feed - the background is:
Together 6 years, 2 children (almost 4yrs & 18mths) Very happy, loved up and definitely committed. We share everything including all our money - our family is very much a 'one pot' when its comes to money and decision making is generally done together. I want to get married. He wants to get married, when we can afford it. I think he thinks I would need an engagement ring worth 2/3k. I would like it, but actually not that bothered as long as I like the ring.
We have been through some very lean times the last 3-4 years, we are in Ireland and he works in construction so his work has been sporadic. However things are picking up - and I am back at work now after being home with the babies for the past 3 years.
I dont want to have a huge wedding but I dont want it to be super tight budget either - not traditionally ceremony. 2 of my sisters are engaged and both are getting married in 2016. I want to get married next year before we consider another baby, also cant expect my family to be able to afford to go to 3 weddings in the one year, so the way I see it is we either get married next year or in 2017 which is too far away (Im 34 as it is...)
So the burning question - I have found a ring I LOVE! Its second hand, have seen receipt for 1,700 I can get it for €600. Its really unusual, a 3 piece set so it includes the wedding band, and to me it represents the past, present & future. My dilemma is whether to show him this ring or not? I dont want to emasculate him (please dont jump on the feminist bandwagon, we are definitely an equal couple in all other respects but I know that he would prefer to do the 'asking') but......a)he will never be able to save enough to buy a new ring without me knowing as we use joint account. b) I doubt he would propose to me without a ring, c) the time restraint means that in order to have a wedding this time next year we would want to be making plans now....
Also I have an idea in my head that if we did get engaged I wouldnt tell anyone straight away, I want to book the date & venue and send out invites, I think this is a quirky way to announce our engagement/wedding, after 2 children and 6 years together I dont think it will comes as any surprise to anyone, and its a bit different than engagement party then 'save the date' then invites ifswim.
So oh wise ones.......AIBU?