AIBU to feel slightly miffed that my friend announced her holiday on Facebook first?

[luckypeach]

Backstory: we do not live near each other anymore but still keep in touch regularly by whatsapp to share news e.g. new job, interview or just general chit chat about our day. Neither of us has had a huge amount of money to spare so something like a holiday is a 'big' deal to us.

Anyway, friend has announced via facebook that she is off to exotic location for a holiday. I am over the moon for her but it feels weird adding to the zillions of comments saying 'lucky you' when it would usually be something she'd have been dying to tell me (or text me) herself first. AIBU? Fully prepared to be told I am. I know she is not obliged to tell me or anything like that, just a bit that it has come out of the blue and she will know I have only found out through FB.

YABU.

I think this is not a big deal, so YABU. Sorry.

YABU. I had to read your thread twice to realise that you were actually in fact talking about a holiday and not a wedding or a new baby. I am a big fan of FB and post on it a lot but am always somewhat baffled by people with viewpoints like yours.

YABU.

YABU.

It's not really that big a deal is it.
Is your friendship the sort where she has to run everything by you first?

Get off FB and start spending time with friends either in person or on the telephone

I'd think it a bit odd but nothing to start a thread about

Seriously?

Seriously?

Yes. YABU.
Just

YABU.

Maybe she couldn't tell you until she booked it? or maybe it doesn't matter in the slightest?

YABU

If this is something to wind you up and annoy you, id love to live your life must be a breeze if you find time and space in it to get upset over something like this

Completely unreasonable.

Unless you're both in Year 7?

yes I know it sounds completely trivial, so fair enough, thank you for your replies so far.

I know its not a huge deal, I suppose I just feel saddened about our relationship changing, feeling distant from each other's lives as well as geographically distant. I am not annoyed about it!

(Of course she doesn't have to run it by me first!)

All I can say is that it is lucky you are fully prepared to be told YABU!

Oh wow. Yes, you are being over sensitive.

Choosing to post on FB about an upcoming holiday, without running it by you first, should have no bearing on your friendship.

x-posts.

She's done nothing wrong here but I completely understand your feelings.

waffly you're not wrong!

its just an ongoing feeling of one-upmanship that I should know better to ignore and not feel put out by anything I read on FB anyway!

Maybe that you don't have money at the moment makes it a hard conversation to have for her without feeling like she is bragging.

yes you are probably right Thom but all the facebook stuff feels a bit like 'bragging' too.

must stop being so over-sensitive then!

Actually I am going to say YANBU, if, if, this isnt about the holiday but the fact that she didnt share news with you first that she normally would have done.

It can feel like you are being phased out or downgraded and that hurts. It doesnt matter if its a holiday or a wedding or a baby, if you would normally get the "OMG!!!!!......." phone call but then start to find things out via a FB status, it makes you wonder if the friendship is changing.

I can see why the OP is upset. It isnt about the holiday at all but about the fact that she wasnt #1 on the call list, she wasnt on the call list at all.

If she normally shares things and is now just posting on facebook instead of chatting, I can see why you'd be upset.

But at the same time, it's not really a big deal to have a superficial conversation on facebook instead of texts, is it? She probably doesn't like having the same conversation twice and repeating herself with different people.