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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nightmare neighbour we rent wwyd

70 replies

BrewsterBabies · 29/07/2014 09:09

Hi there sorry for the long post and I know this is going to sound so petty but I've had enough of this neighbour .
We moved to this house 1 year ago and as soon as we moved in our ndn started constantly knocking telling us she is having this and that done to her property and would knock again to remind me fair enough ok to begin with
. Each time she has something done it requires someone to be down the side of our house up a ladder to her guttering or in our back garden . I did not have a problem with it at first I'd say yea sure that's fine even tho i knew I'd be taking the kids to school and whoever was doing the work would be in the way of my pram but they moved all there stuff each time little but annoying but ok.
Twice this happened in a matter of weeks . She then had railings put up out the front so the workman were in our garden again and parking over our dropped kerb even tho she has a ridicuolous massive drive so I had the hassle if my husband having the hump when he got in coz the builders wanted to argue with him about moving their van even tho it's blocking our property and all of them being in our front garden making it a mess whilst hers looked immaculate .

She then knocks again a few days later when I'm in the bath so kids answer age 10 7 and 3 she starts asking them for my mobile number so she can remind me she's having the bloke up the side of our house again my ds says I don't no it then starts shouting for me just to add they never answer the door but because they knew it was her they could .!! I come down in a towel and said yes do what u have to do . She then knocks the day before he comes again to remind me this is when I tell her she's got to stop knocking now as it's getting to me and that I want a bit of peace from having people in our garden and that we feel we are being pestered . We'll that didn't go down well she went on to tell me I cannot grow my plants up her fence in the back garden . So petty but hear me out . This fence is actually in the boundary of our garden so is legally our landlords but she decided to out a fence panel in it herself so she thinks that part of the garden is hers apparantly the reason she said this is because we fitted some metal trellis along the top all the way round our garden for extra protection from burgulars as our garden backs directly onto the street and not to grow plants up .
Dictating what I can and can't do it my own garden ! Anyway all ok for a few weeks then I get the call from the estate agents
You next door neighbours rung can she ..... I said no without even hearing what she wanted done obviously they have to ask our permission told what has been going on the past few months with her pestering us and not being able to live peacefully and us disturbed so they said ok they will let her know .
Didn't hear anything more about it so I went out with my parents for lunch . Come home and see a van parked over my drive blocking my car in and 2 men down the side of my house where the drain is.
I'm thinking they are trying to get in through the side gate gone running up and said what the bloody hell are u doing only to be told they are from the estate agents the neighbours rung to complain that her drains blocked and is saying it's us that's causing it !!!
They knocked at her house she never answers when she's home even tho she calloed them
Our drain was totally clear so it's not us causing the blockage they tried to tell her that but no answer so they said the office will ring what a fucking cheek she has .

A couple of weeks later I get another call about something she wants doing now and apparantly dues wrote a letter to the landlord asking to because we have said no and put our toto down . I've gone nuts at the agent slammed the phone down and gone to tell her what she is doing has to stop but guess what she wouldn't answer the door .
So I waited till she went out and come back then caught her when she was going in .
I'm not pleased that I shouted at her I did not swear once even tho I wanted to told her everything she has done and that just because we rent don't give her to right to think she can go over our heads to the agent and landlord as they still hav to ask our permission and we have as many rights as someone who owns which she dissagreed with argghhh .in the end I said you obviously gave some form of OCD and are obsessed with having things don't to your house please don't speak to me anymore and you are a busybody and went in . Here's an example of that ... Every Monday morning before the dustpan come she puts out 3traffic cones along the edge of the curb on the oath where her house is to stop the dust man pulling the bins on it and dustcart touching the kerb and stands there watching the poor buggers when they are trying to do their job it's cringing !!

Our landlord rang and wanted to come round to find out what's going on so we had a really good chat all he did was say all I can do is apologise for her behaviour all we care about is you so we will make it incredbally difficult for her now whenever she wants anything don't she has to contact me (landlord) and I have to be present all day watching them to make sure everything is cleared up properly and they are not taking the piss .

After she found that out haven't heard a thing this was 3 months ago now today the bloke who goes up the side of our house has turned up in his van and was looking down the side of our house before he started doing the work so I'm expecting a knock from him .

Should I tell him to tell her to fuck off she knows the rules now he obviously knows all about me from her too as she's a gossip

Just to add this woman is in her early 70s has all her marbles is mobile and out and about so it's not like she's some little old frail lady who needs help and doesn't no any better . She the type that rings up to complain about everything to the council about others and the estate agent about us

Quite a few more things have happened as well which I didn't add but this is the basic story as it's long enough already lol

Sorry for the rant thanks guys xx

[post edited by MNHQ]

OP posts:
RonaldMcDonald · 29/07/2014 12:55

OP

You are behaving in a dreadful manner.

You are quite definitely acting unreasonably. I would dread having a neighbour like you.
( btw it is cringeworthy hth )

PrimalLass · 29/07/2014 13:36

You sound very unreasonable OP.

UncleT · 29/07/2014 13:48

You sound like you fly off the handle an awful lot.

BrewsterBabies · 29/07/2014 16:14

Cor you have all had a field day laying into me today everyone seems to get so offended by the slightest things ageist really! . I do not fly off the handle at all but when I feel my good nature is being taken advantage of I will say something especially when you say no to someone and the person ignores you and still keeps on . There wasn't a good relationship to start with as she wasn't interested in us at all
As for saying our landlord should kick us out and not renew our tenancy and we are causing anti social behaviour well thats not right we pay rent on time look after the place our children are quiet I haven't spoken to the woman for 3months so I'm not causing antisocial behaviour or intimidating her in any way when I do see her I just get on with what I'm doing there's no awkwardness so that's not fair to say that
Tbh it was all just to much in such a short period of time of us being there

I just wanted to get my point acrss to her which started off as me being calm and polite but she just would not listen and was accusing me of things that's when I raised my voice and told her not to speak to me anymore
We'll anyway what's done is done only time will tell if things will get sorted out between us but in the meantime I'm just leaving everything to my ll to deal with

OP posts:
HaroldLloyd · 29/07/2014 16:23

And this is AIBU with everyone behaving themselves Grin

HaroldLloyd · 29/07/2014 16:23

PS, old bag erm, it's not really the slightest thing ageist wise is it? Come on now.

PrimalLass · 29/07/2014 16:49

I think that everyone is just saying that you don't have the right to refuse someone access to the side of their house. And that you haven't really made it clear why it is a problem, other than it annoying you.

UncleT · 29/07/2014 17:00

You did slam the phone down and also admit to shouting at her. That's not just 'saying something'.

wowfudge · 29/07/2014 17:33

UncleT - the OP slammed the phone down on the letting agent. With the NDN she shouted at her, told her she had OCD and was obsessed with having things done to her house!

Quite.

londonrach · 29/07/2014 17:36

Op Aibu mn yes. Op no I'm not. Oh well hopefully we made you think abit about your poor ndn.

EthicalPickle · 29/07/2014 18:27

It does sound irritating but loosing your temper with her won't achieve anything and isn't nice. It's more effective to try and sort these things out amicably

pictish · 29/07/2014 18:57

It does sound like a mild inconvenience, but that's all.
You are being unnecessarily obstructive and unpleasant about it.
I don't quite understand why.

iK8 · 29/07/2014 19:31

I don't understand why you didn't just speak to her nicely about it? Why say "yes that's fine" to lots of requests and then just decide it was too much and give a flat no out of the blue? Can you see how unreasonable that is?

Op I think from what you have written you have behaved very badly. If you wanted to you could salvage this but I get the impression you have decided this woman is in the wrong and you in the right and that is the end of the matter.

Yabvvvvu.

NotOneThingbutAnother · 29/07/2014 20:35

Brewsters you've posted a long story in AIBU and unfortunately now you are paying the price.

I've lived in this house (semi) for 25 years and adjoining house has never asked for access and the house on the other side with whom we share a drive has used the shared area for access maybe 4 times. OP has explained that neighbour has demanded access every few weeks - maybe if we knew the layout we could understand why she has to have so much access, but basically she's being vexatious, and ultimately she doesn't have a "right" of access unless that's in the deeds. Neighbour can choose to go to court to apply for access if she can prove its necessary and even then the judge would only grant it at the OP's convenience!

Did nobody read the bit about the neighbour getting the workmen to park across OP etc and use her garden so as to keep her garden nice and her drive free?!

OP I think the only thing you did wrong was to keep saying yes and then let it escalate. Do everything through the landlord now as you suggest. The way we treat tenants in the UK is outrageous, there is no shame in renting but there is shame in treating your tenants like a commodity wherein if it doesn't suit you then they're out. Thankfully OP it sounds like your landlord has got the measure of this woman so try to keep out of it.

wowfudge · 29/07/2014 21:04

NotOneThing - I for one did read the whole post and acknowledged the OP's frustration over the parking over/on her drive business.

It's not the long post which has gleaned so many negative responses to the OP's actions, it's the nature of those actions and general unpleasantness she has conveyed towards her NDN.

brokenhearted55a · 29/07/2014 23:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oldraver · 29/07/2014 23:14

You talk as though she is harrssing you, she isnt, she is just giving you a heads up of work to be done. Yes the workmen should be more considerate.

You sound barmy

Nanny0gg · 30/07/2014 20:11

I'm glad my neighbours were more accommodating.

They had scaffolding in their garden for over a week whilst we had work done on the roof - just as the weather turned really warm in the spring. And they do like to use their garden.

No problems from them at all and we gave them flowers and wine as a Thank-You.

It's just being good neighbours. You'll be stuffed if you need work doing on your house.

pictish · 30/07/2014 20:15

I wouldn't mind my neighbours wanting access or needing to put scaffolding in my garden for a while.

The rancour the OP has about it is baffling!

tiredandsadmum · 30/07/2014 20:34

To be blunt many workmen are very selfish - park where they want and don't really seem to care about others. I have had real problems over the years from neighbours works. I always take it up politely with the workmen directly and then I do let my neighbours know. It makes no difference. But my attitude about it after 18 years is still much politer than yours. You do sound quite rude

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