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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think he should have stepped up even just this once.

33 replies

oxfordmumma1 · 28/07/2014 18:47

So dd3 aged 22 months is a mummys girl. Partly as dh really had very little to do with her in her early years and me breastfeeding of course. When we go out as a family it is normally me who deals with her.
So on Friday I had a colonoscopy under sedation. Dh grudgingly agreed to take day off. He dropped me off and picked me up. However, he also needed a blood test. So I thought he would take dd2 and dd3 with him to get blood test and than pick me up. But no, he comes to collect me less than an hour after procedure and said I need to have a blood test. Do you want to wait in cs4r with dc. As I had been told I shouldn't be responsible for young dc for 24 hours I declined. Although probably our 8 year old could have alerted someone if anything happened.
Anyway we all traipsed to blood test area. Dd, of course wouldn't sit still. However, it was me who got up when she went exploring. I waited for dh to move but no he just sat there.when I moaned he said well I could be called in. But his was number was nowhere near. After 2nd attempt I actually asked dd to go after her for me. Can't believe I said that.
Aibu to expect a bloody day off parenting following a colonoscopy.

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 31/07/2014 15:22

I commented on your other thread

I'm horrified

He is passive aggressive and nasty - it is a major coincidence that he needs to have a blood test when you need to have an invasive procedure

He is not caring for you and the Breastfeeding is a red herring

I Breastfed my DD for years - my DH and her are bonded (and he works long hours etc)

Is he 'punishing' you for the unplanned pregnancy by having very little to do with her ? I'm sorry if that is painful but that's what it sounds like

notaflamingclue · 31/07/2014 15:23

Your NSDH sounds like a right tool. Doesn't sound as if he gives much of a shit for you or your DC.

On a bit of a tangent, I had a colonoscopy under sedation recently. It hurt like hell and I was 100% ok immediately afterwards. Am I to suppose from this that I wasn't properly sedated?

kickassangel · 31/07/2014 15:30

The not driving thing sounds more like he wanted to keep you at home where you belong than because he cares for you. Sorry, but he sounds very much like you're his cleaner and cook an child minder rather than a person he loves.

oxfordmumma1 · 31/07/2014 15:32

Mine hurt quite alot too at the time. They had to give me more pain relief. How much sedation and pain relief did you have? I felt a bit wobbly for a little while but more with it than I expected.
Thanks all.
This needs sorting one way or another.

OP posts:
EverythingCounts · 31/07/2014 15:38

That was awful behaviour from him. I have blood tests frequently and you can easily drop in and get them done any weekday. He should have done that and he should have got off his arse and chased his kid himself.

OnlyLovers · 31/07/2014 15:40

He sounds like a shit. 'grudgingly agreed' to a day off? Arsehole.

tak1ngchances · 31/07/2014 15:43

I don't think he is comfortable or confident in being a dad. It sounds like whenever he thinks he might have sole care then he finds an excuse/reason to avoid.

Has he ever talked to you about being a dad, what sit means to him, his fears?

oxfordmumma1 · 31/07/2014 15:51

Was more hands on with other two and has had all three when I am working or go out. However, he rarely takes all 3 out on his own.

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