to think he should have stepped up even just this once.

[oxfordmumma1]

So dd3 aged 22 months is a mummys girl. Partly as dh really had very little to do with her in her early years and me breastfeeding of course. When we go out as a family it is normally me who deals with her.
So on Friday I had a colonoscopy under sedation. Dh grudgingly agreed to take day off. He dropped me off and picked me up. However, he also needed a blood test. So I thought he would take dd2 and dd3 with him to get blood test and than pick me up. But no, he comes to collect me less than an hour after procedure and said I need to have a blood test. Do you want to wait in cs4r with dc. As I had been told I shouldn't be responsible for young dc for 24 hours I declined. Although probably our 8 year old could have alerted someone if anything happened.
Anyway we all traipsed to blood test area. Dd, of course wouldn't sit still. However, it was me who got up when she went exploring. I waited for dh to move but no he just sat there.when I moaned he said well I could be called in. But his was number was nowhere near. After 2nd attempt I actually asked dd to go after her for me. Can't believe I said that.
Aibu to expect a bloody day off parenting following a colonoscopy.

[oxfordmumma1]

Was more hands on with other two and has had all three when I am working or go out. However, he rarely takes all 3 out on his own.

[tak1ngchances]

I don't think he is comfortable or confident in being a dad. It sounds like whenever he thinks he might have sole care then he finds an excuse/reason to avoid.

Has he ever talked to you about being a dad, what sit means to him, his fears?

[OnlyLovers]

He sounds like a shit. 'grudgingly agreed' to a day off? Arsehole.

[EverythingCounts]

That was awful behaviour from him. I have blood tests frequently and you can easily drop in and get them done any weekday. He should have done that and he should have got off his arse and chased his kid himself.

[oxfordmumma1]

Mine hurt quite alot too at the time. They had to give me more pain relief. How much sedation and pain relief did you have? I felt a bit wobbly for a little while but more with it than I expected.
Thanks all.
This needs sorting one way or another.

[kickassangel]

The not driving thing sounds more like he wanted to keep you at home where you belong than because he cares for you. Sorry, but he sounds very much like you're his cleaner and cook an child minder rather than a person he loves.

[notaflamingclue]

Your NSDH sounds like a right tool. Doesn't sound as if he gives much of a shit for you or your DC.

On a bit of a tangent, I had a colonoscopy under sedation recently. It hurt like hell and I was 100% ok immediately afterwards. Am I to suppose from this that I wasn't properly sedated?

[rubyslippers]

I commented on your other thread

I'm horrified

He is passive aggressive and nasty - it is a major coincidence that he needs to have a blood test when you need to have an invasive procedure

He is not caring for you and the Breastfeeding is a red herring

I Breastfed my DD for years - my DH and her are bonded (and he works long hours etc)

Is he 'punishing' you for the unplanned pregnancy by having very little to do with her ? I'm sorry if that is painful but that's what it sounds like

[ikeaismylocal]

YANBU.

It has nothing to do with you breastfeeding, I breastfed (still breastfeed) my 19 month old and dp and ds have a very very close bond, if ds wakes up and dp is not next to him he shouts for pappa and then uses dp's real name. Don't let him fob you off, for goodness sake I'm sure even if his number was called he could have brought dd back to you and then gone in what an idiot.

[oxfordmumma1]

Well he claims it is because of breastfeeding. I feel though it is due to him having little involvement in the early days. Works long hours with a long commute.
She also wasn't planned and tbh it took him longer to adjust to new family dynamic. Wrong but that's how it was.

[kentishgirl]

So dd3 aged 22 months is a mummys girl.

Partly as dh really had very little to do with her in her early years - why is this?

and me breastfeeding of course. - makes no difference at all to the role of the other parent. Why are you allowing this as an excuse?

[KnackeredMuchly]

You need a break up.

[StillFrigginRexManningDay]

I have not read your other threads but based on this your husband is a grade A arsehole.

[oxfordmumma1]

I think he just didn't realize how big a procedure it was.
I have had blood test before and just take little one with me. (Fortunately she slept last time) .
I suppose he isn't used to it. Need to have a big discussion as things can't continue as they are,
Thank you

[Wibblypiglikesbananas]

You don't need a break, you need a divorce! The way he treated you was appalling!

[oxfordmumma1]

Thank you for replies. Serious discussion definately needed. I feel fine now but the one opportunity I had to relax a little was taken away.
It was bizarre really. He was happy for me to run around after 22 month old dd within an hour of colonoscopy but wasalso saying I sshouldn't drive for more than 24 hours.
Funny also how the even of my colonoscopy coincided with his medical condition flaring up.
Just feel like I need a break.

[Staryyeyedsurprise]

OP to my ropey memory this is at least the third thread in a relatively short space of time regarding you feeling unsupported by your husband. I think you need to talk to him. Something's not right, either with perception, communication or the relationship.

FWIW YANBU on this.

[Castlemilk]

Next time, have a DH-ectomy.

Have it under local so you can immediately throw a 'FREE AT LAST - AU REVOIR MANCHILD!' party.

He's a knob. Hope you get shot soon.

[Fairylea]

He sounds absolutely horrendous.

When I had a colonoscopy I got home and literally just about passed out on the sofa. And slept for 12 hours. There was no way I could have gone to the doctors and supervised children!

I'm really angry for you.

[LynetteScavo]

Poor you.

In your shoes I would be .

[TheRealAmandaClarke]

YANBU
I hope you're well.
I'll do his next blood test if you like

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

Is your DH always this much of a selfish unthinking tool?

[Happy36]

Hope you are feeling better after your colonoscopy.

I haven't read your other thread but based on this one I'd say you would be reasonable to sit down with your partner to tell him that you felt he didn't fulfil his responsibilities this time and could behave differently to provide a more helpful role in the family in any similar situation in future.

Take care.

[LuisSuarezTeeth]

I remember your other thread.

He's a tool.

[PleaseJustShootMeNow]

YANBU your partner sounds like a selfish arse.