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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Seriously talking to me cousin about her baby name choice

84 replies

Festinalente · 27/07/2014 05:16

This is my first post, if I get anything wrong I'm incredibly sorry.

For a bit of background, my cousin and I are in our teens, great friends, yet total opposites.

She is having a baby any day now and is set on naming her 'Nevaeh', when she told me I just smiled and nodded my head thinking she was either kidding me or would change her mind as usual.

Am I being unreasonable to ask her to consider changing the name?

Luckily enough she is using a classic middle name under my persuasion, so the baby will always have that to rely on.

Thank you for reading my post.

OP posts:

rinabean · 27/07/2014 11:28

Mumof3xox she's the same age as her, she's not an adult judging her teenage cousin

Mumof3xox · 27/07/2014 11:31

Yes I read that, I still think she sounds more disaproving of cousins choice to have a baby than of the name tbh

SiennaBlake · 27/07/2014 11:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

shockinglybadteacher · 27/07/2014 11:36

YWBU OP, unless you can find another name that instantly appeals to her.

I don't like it (really because of the pronunciation problem) but it's not the worst name in the world - I'm still laughing at "Yendor" . If your cousin hasn't got the best taste in names in the world, there's a danger she could pick a worse one!

shockinglybadteacher · 27/07/2014 11:38

Sienna, it could happen! (looks at own family...)

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 27/07/2014 11:40

Teenage parents? Check.
Unusual name choice? Check.
Vaguely-hidden disapproval over the age? Check.
Boyfriend was a dealer, but he's stopped now? Check.
Requested a c-section? Check.

Sorry OP... you were doing well, but lost me at the point where you suggested WWI themed names.

SiennaBlake · 27/07/2014 11:52

I was thinking more along the lines of Moomin's thinking, shockingly.

shockinglybadteacher · 27/07/2014 11:55

It's better than brands of alcohol

I quite liked the idea. When I was doing history in school, would have been well up for it. (Although I realise could just be me)

Mrsjayy · 27/07/2014 12:00

So you signed up to a forum to post about a name you think is silly , okaay then

wafflyversatile · 27/07/2014 12:21

Nivea would be quite a nice name.

Neevah and Nehvayah actually sound quite nice to me.

I also don't get the 'heaven backwards' bit. Makes me think of schoolgirl satanism or something. 'If you spell it backwards it means the opposite!!! mwahaha'

AscoyneDAscoyne · 27/07/2014 12:49

Name threads make me laugh, it seems that no matter how fucking awful the potential name is we absolutely must not voice our opinion.

I think it depends on the relationship we have with our friends and family. When I was pregnant my dsis often took the piss out of my some of my name choices and thank god she did, isn't that how most families are? If it was somebody I was really close to I wouldn't be on here agonising, I would just tell them!

Instead of worrying about offending the parents why not worry about the name these poor kids are going to be saddled with for the rest of their lives? Having said that, Nevaeh isn't the worst name I've heard on here.

Of course once the kids born nothing you can do except gush about what a lovely name they've chosen

thornrose · 27/07/2014 12:51

we absolutely must not voice our opinion really? The name threads I have seen have very, very strong opinions, generally shouted, let alone voiced!

thornrose · 27/07/2014 12:52

Oh no, you meant in RL Ascoyne duh!

AllMimsyWereTheBorogoves · 27/07/2014 12:58

Do we have to be so laid back and super cool that we can't say that having a baby at 15 (which is below the age of consent, btw) is a perfectly valid life choice? I'll stick my head above the parapet and say that of course it happens and of course lots of young women who have babies in their mid-teens go on to be really good mothers and to make good lives for themselves and their children - but in an ideal world I would rather they waited till they were older and had completed school.

By the way, those of you hinting with such subtlety that you don't think the OP is genuine - report and let MN investigate. That's what they've told us to do.

AllMimsyWereTheBorogoves · 27/07/2014 12:59

Aargh! 'That we can't say that having a baby at 15 is not a great life choice' is what I meant to say. Preview, preview, preview.

DogCalledRudis · 27/07/2014 13:04

Say that you don't like it, then leave it.

Bluebelljumpsoverthemoon · 27/07/2014 13:08

It's a horrible name and I think every parent should hear the genuine reactions people have to a name before they choose it for their child. The child is the one who's going to have to live with it, we shouldn't be over sensitive to parents, it's not all about them and sometimes they need to be reminded of that.

Lally112 · 27/07/2014 13:16

its her baby - her choice, if the kid doesn't like it theres always deed poll.

FlossyMoo · 27/07/2014 13:18

Sorry Blue but I completely disagree.

You will always find people who love/hate a name so you will never win and the baby will have no name at all if your logic is followed.

I don't know whether you have children but if you do did you go around and conduct a survey before you named your child or did you just pick one you liked?

If you expressed such disgust at my choice of names our friendship would be quickly over as your lack of minding our own business and harshness is not an attribute I look for in friendships.

GatoradeMeBitch · 27/07/2014 13:34

The Saccone Joly's have a dog named that I think - they pronounce it Nev-ay-ah. I actually really like it!

jamdonut · 27/07/2014 13:34

In a few years time, when her child is at school,will she be posting on here complaining is she being unreasonable that people should pronounce or spell her child's name correctly???? A name like that is asking for trouble!

Having said that - if it is pronounced Ne-vay-ah - I think that is quite pretty.

icanmakeyouicecream · 27/07/2014 13:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

singersgirl · 27/07/2014 14:16

Whatever the situation, the OP's cousin sounds very different from the OP - who has chose a user name which is a Latin quote from Dr Faustus.

MNHQ

EllenMumsnet · 27/07/2014 14:55

Hi all. Just checking in following a few reports on this thread and to say hi to the OP, who is posting for the first time, and may be young, but, who is posting for advice.

As AllMimsyWereTheBorogoves points out, please report if you have any concerns on that score and we'll look into it. to AllMimsy

Also, a friendly reminder of our guidelines and link to the vair interesting discussion about AIBU and how it might work better: AIBU (in case you've been off the planet on holiday).

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 27/07/2014 15:13

Mimsy thank you for the friendly reminder but I did report the OP and say that I thought it seemed suspect and goady. If it checks out for MNHQ, fine and my apologies, OP.

However it does sound like you disapprove more of the fact that your cousin is having a baby, rather than the name she's chosen - which is fine, as much as I hate stigma against teenage parents, I'll acknowledge that 15 is far from the ideal age to have a child. But if you are disapproving, at least be honest about it.

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