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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Seriously talking to me cousin about her baby name choice

84 replies

Festinalente · 27/07/2014 05:16

This is my first post, if I get anything wrong I'm incredibly sorry.

For a bit of background, my cousin and I are in our teens, great friends, yet total opposites.

She is having a baby any day now and is set on naming her 'Nevaeh', when she told me I just smiled and nodded my head thinking she was either kidding me or would change her mind as usual.

Am I being unreasonable to ask her to consider changing the name?

Luckily enough she is using a classic middle name under my persuasion, so the baby will always have that to rely on.

Thank you for reading my post.

OP posts:
JonSnowsPout · 27/07/2014 08:20

This reply has been deleted

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redfairy · 27/07/2014 08:24

YABU to try to talk her out of it. Her baby, her choice.
Personally, I've never heard the name before, but think it's awful.

nooka · 27/07/2014 08:33

Is it really Nev-ay-ah? That sounds even worse to me. I'm in west coast Canada, maybe it's pronounced differently here? Or maybe the couple made the pronunciation up? I guess as it's not a real name/word you can say it however you like really, but Nev-ay-ah sounds like it has one too many syllables phonetically.

BlueLaceAgate · 27/07/2014 08:38

Ffs, a teenage first time poster asks for advice and gets these kinds of responses?
All the threads I've read about baby names I don't think I've come across such personal nastiness.

You don't sound "wanky" OP. How unkind. This must be what that MNHQ thread was referring to.

I really don't like the name Neveah, sounds like something a teenage girl would choose. I'm so glad I didn't go with some of the names I thought about for my children. But mine all have classic names and I wonder if I could have been more adventurous.
But it is her baby and she's got a classic middle name so can use that if she wants when she's older.

Thanks - to counteract the meanness.

x2boys · 27/07/2014 08:51

There are lots and lots of babies named nevaeh whose mothers appear on the Maury show it isn't at all like. Niamh which is a lovely Irish Name .

crashbandicoot · 27/07/2014 08:57

jonsnow - that was very harsh. perhaps you could have worded it better.

FrankSaysNo · 27/07/2014 09:03

Yendor. Thats Rodney backwards. Yes I have a friend called Yendor, although she changed the spelling when she was older to Yenda so no one made the connection. Her parents wanted a boy Hmm.

Off the wall names will always provoke interest, comment, reaction. along with the misspelt ones funky spelling.

AllMimsyWereTheBorogoves · 27/07/2014 09:04

I think it's an awful name.

  1. From seeing it written down it's not at all clear how to pronounce it. There are at least two possibilities on this thread alone.
  2. From hearing it said it's not clear how to spell it.
  3. It doesn't (to my ear) have a pleasant sound.
  4. I just don't get why anybody would want to name their child 'Heaven backwards'. Why? What's the point in that? What next - Evol? Suoegrog? Lufituaeb?

However, I suppose people have been saying this sort of stuff about all sorts of names for millennia and often the name becomes established anyway. Good luck to your cousin!

thornrose · 27/07/2014 09:10

I think you just have to stand back and let her get on with it. You sound like a lovely friend though and not a bit wanky!

JonSnow you couldn't sound more mean.

PicardyThird · 27/07/2014 09:25

JonSnow, can I refer you to the long thread at the top of the section in which MNers are discussing gratuitous meanness and unpleasantness in AIBU? People don't like it.

OP, I'm going to buck the trend and say YANBU. If you manage to persuade your cousin to change her mind you will be doing this child a huge favour. There are so many beautiful names out of there.

WeAreEternal · 27/07/2014 09:33

I have a friend who's 9yr old is called Nevaeh, pronounced nee-va.

She goes by the nickname Neve, which I think is lovely.

The name Nevaeh always reminds me of the movie Wall-E and they way Wall-e says Eve.

FlossyMoo · 27/07/2014 09:41

YABU.

It is none of your business.

Branleuse · 27/07/2014 09:46

Its not my favourite name, but its pretty unoffensive, and its her choice to make.

HouseofEliot · 27/07/2014 09:53

It's a lovely name. There are 5 at our school all pronounced ne vay ah.
Much nicer than some of the awful names on here. Life would be boring if everyone chose the same names.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 27/07/2014 09:59

It's not a good name but it doesn't sound like she was asking for your opinion. Keep quiet and hope she has a boy?!

That said, I think you could warn her that she/child is in for a lifetime of misspellings/mispronounciations which will be a pain.

VSeth · 27/07/2014 10:01

I met a little boy called Barnaby yesterday. Each to their own etc

Yanbu to not like the name but yabu if you mention it.

Original poster
Festinalente · 27/07/2014 10:01

I think it's being pronounced Nev-ay-ah now, she has changed the pronunciation throughout her pregnancy as at one point it was Nev-a, then Neve-a.

The father is involved kinda, my family doesn't like him because he is considerably older than my cousin and I (we're 15 he's late teens I think) and deals but he has quit now.

The original middle name was between the family name she likes now and another name backwards, I just said 'choose family name, it's great to keep it in the family, ect.'

In my family it's tradition to have several names and choose one to go by, she's requested a C sect and it's happening on the 4th, so I'm jokingly suggesting WW1 themed names but unfortunately she doesn't see the appeal of adding on Franz Ferdinand to the name.

I'm still on the fence, honestly.

OP posts:
Original poster
Festinalente · 27/07/2014 10:39

I like the Nivea Creme suggestion Grin.

I hope she doesn't have a boy, I've just bought some clothes for the baby as she was having a hard time finding yellow stuff, in addition the name she wanted to use was made up by her boyfriend.

OP posts:
pukkabo · 27/07/2014 10:45

Not useful but just can't stop laughing at Yendor franksaysno Grin. Oh we wanted Rodney but had a girl so Yendor it is. Brilliant.

PeoplesFrontOfJudea · 27/07/2014 10:48

It wouldn't be my first choice either, OP, but an "iffy" name doesn't automatically mean a bad parent and so leave her to it. She will face enough challenges & disapproval having a baby a 15/16, as it is.

PeoplesFrontOfJudea · 27/07/2014 10:49

at not a

Original poster
Festinalente · 27/07/2014 10:54

Several of her friends are pregnant and she lives in her own world, she has been planning to get pregnant for years and it's more unusual to not have children by 18 than it isn't.

I'm not concerned on a discriminatory front.

OP posts:
Mumof3xox · 27/07/2014 11:07

You seem to focus largely on her age and tbh sound most disapproving

SaucyJack · 27/07/2014 11:10

Not a fan personally. Sounds like a birth mark to me.

But I wouldn't say anything. I don't like it when people laugh at my DDs' names, so I try not to criticise back.

PhaedraIsMyName · 27/07/2014 11:20

It's an awful name but beyond telling her if she asks your opinion nothing you can do.

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