To think they should have cleared up, even a bit?

[hackneylady]

We had friends around for dinner tonight, and right at the end of the main course, my partner had an accident and sliced her hand (long story involving shaky chair and a radiator thermostat with no proper cap).

We decided to go to hospital for stitches so had to leave. It was obviously a shame for the evening to end but what's bothering me is that our friends knew we wouldn't get home till late (I'm just in, after 4 hours in A and E and I'm exhausted!) but went off without clearing up. I think one of them did say, 'oh do you want us to do something' and I think I was a bit English in return and said something like 'no worries', but if it were me, I just would have got stuck in.

They're very close friends and we're around each others houses all the time so everyone was completely at home.

I was just a bit flabbergasted to see everyone pick up their belongings and go as we tried to close windows, etc to get ourselves out to the door to hospital.

But maybe I'm BU?

Well no, as I said earlier, the only circumstances in which I wouldn't clear up are when I thought the host actually wanted me out of the house. Perhaps the OP really did give that impression - but she doesn't seem to think so.

The key here is that OP describes them as good friends. My good friends would recognise that getting a bleeding loved one to hospital can be worrying and stressful, and would simply do all they could to help. As I would for them.

I don't actually agree that the OP should have immediately said yes to the offer of help. I think it is a bizarre but longstanding quirk of our society that we tend to say "please don't put yourself out" etc. if asked, but would gladly accept help if given!

I couldn't stand someone friend or family faffing about trying to tidy.its not appropriate
Its fussy, busy bum syndrome and id find it intrusive,esp. if they just launched in
If i went to friend or family id offer help.but id not spontaneously get stuck and.and definitely not if told not to,no worries by host

Some people just aren't that fussed about clearing up OP...I'm not. I often leave washing up till' the next day because I really don't care enough about it.

My mate horrifies me by tidying up in a drunken fashion when we're still bloody eating!

She also rushes about doing "stuff" when other people are trying to have a coffee or wine or something and you just think "For God's sake leave it!" as you HAVE to help or it looks rude!

ScottishMummy fussy busy bum syndrome is EXACTLY what it is! Thanks for naming it! My MIL has it...this syndrome and it is so annoying!

The house won't melt if it's not in prime condition for a night.

Absolutely Scottish. When others "help" it can be months before you find the corkscrew. (obviously after you've replaced it)

YANBU. TheyANBU.