to talk sh*t whilst drunk and expect dh not to be annoyed?

[crashbandicoot]

backstory:

me and dh have been having a difficult time of late. I have been suffering from depression etc. tonight we actually managed to have a pleasant night out at a gig/jazz club but walking home I thought of the song "get your motor running" and said "wouldn't it be fun if we got a motorbike and we could take off whenever we wanted!" and he said "I have No interest in getting a motorbike".

However I was only really "imagineering" IYKWIM? and I said "just humour me will you?" because i said I have been depressed and sometimes it is fun to think outside the box etc... I don't really even want a motor bike if you see, it was just the idea that was exhilarating and cheered me up.. does that even make sense?

But he keeps saying that he "will not go along with things he doesn't agree with just to humour me" and then he said that we are "fundamentally incompatible" - (we have been going out for 14 years and married for 4! surely he would have noticed this before!!)

anyway AIBU or is he????

kitsmummy - that is an interesting thought. this is why i doubt myself. maybe it is my and i should understand where he is coming from better.

he's so stressed at the moment and that isn't helping things.

Please don't grow up! At 29 and dp 43 we constantly imagine strange trips and silly scenarios!

We can be incredibly immature in our humor and laugh all the time!

Stressful times are made easier when you can laugh together.

We both left difficult marriages (before we even met to make that clear!) and both started again from scratch.

We now have a toddler and one on the way, we're very happy. OP, it's not too late to find a new partner and have children if that's what you want to do.

update: dh has told me that he is stressed and all he could hear was another thing to be added to his to do list!! like i was saying that we should buy a motorbike there and then!!

tbh he constantly stressed because he owns two flats with tenants in them.

*he is

Ok, if he is stressed then I have some sympathy for him. Nothing worse than being stressed and having someone cheerfully wittering on about fun things to do. But it's not fair of him to take it out on you.

tbh he constantly stressed because he owns two flats with tenants in them.

Being a landlord is easy in my experience.

I know because I have been one.
Letting is easy.
Managing is easy, I did myself.

When I was a landlord it really was the least of my problems.

Back then I had (in no particular order):
A baby
A 4yo DSD.
Court cases re residency for DSD
A full time job.
Massive childcare bills
My father in intensive care for weeks.
and NO family support.

If BTL is sooo damn stressful, I suggest the reality of a newborn buba will send the poor wee lamb over the edge!!!

thanks all. we have both calmed down and watched breaking bad tonight (we are very late to it)

we are certainly going through a difficult patch and everything has been thrown up in the air. neither of us are perfect and we need to both decide if we can be happy together and if we should continue given our combination of compatible and incompatible traits. i don't know what the outcome will be but I suppose it is also going to be harder with age gap relationships - i don't have anything else to compare it too however so I will just need to use my own judgement I suppose (and all the helpful advice that has been given). thanks again.

sister I take my hat off to you for managing all those things and coming through the other side.

Just for you Crash.

Hi OP, like you I have a fantastic imagination but my Dh not so much. He often describes me as hanging of the edge of reality by just a fingernail for security. I am sure we could be described as fundamentally incompatible. I like to think we are complementary. He is my rock and when the chips are down I love his rationality. Equally we recently took a huge risk packed up our family and moved countries. Best thing we ever did and dh said he would never have been able to do this before he met me.

Its all about perspective and what works for you. Don't judge your life on a drunken conversation.

thanks Homebird and Chilli - both lovely comments!

I am really going to change my life for the better - one way or another!!