To be annoyed by this and think it is unfair?

[cheeseandfickle]

I am still friends with a group of women that I met at baby group when my youngest child was little.

We are all still friends and all still have regular nights out. One member of the group is quite dominant, very vocal, and somewhat of a boaster. Lots of the others seem to hang on her every word and be in awe of the clothes she is wearing or the holiday she is going on. Recently her husband got a new car and lots of them listened open mouthed and in awe as she told a long story about how he got her the wrong colour, and how she'd moaned at him until he changed it.

I am not a boaster. I am fairly quiet and generally happy to listen to the louder group members, although of course I do speak too when we're out!

We all went out for a meal last night, and during the meal I mentioned that we have booked a holiday for next month. It wasn't in a bragging sense but just an update on me type of sense. I talked about it for about 2 minutes and then we moved on to another topic.

This morning I have received a facebook message from one of the other women (not the boaster) saying that she is just giving me some friendly advice but that she is advising me not to mention my holiday again as it's unfair on other group members that cannot afford a holiday this year, and she thinks I may have upset one or two others by talking about it.

I have not replied to the message yet but to be honest I am absolutely gobsmacked by it, not to mention very pissed off. Basically she is saying that it is ok for some people to boast all the time, but that the rest of us should just sit there and listen to it all and never update with any news of our own. I also feel cross that the one or two others that I have apparently upset haven't got the balls to message me themselves to say it!

AIBU to be totally pissed off and to be considering not meeting up with these women again?

[Viviennemary]

I wouldn't say don't meet up with them again but look for some new friends. I agree it's probably just the person sending you an e-mail trying to stir things up. Do what waffly said. There's often a bit of jealousy with bigger groups of friends and trying to play one person off against the other. It only takes one.

[Merrylegs]

I would have replied 'sorry, I think you must have meant this message for boasty brenda. #awks'

[Wonc]

It seems quite strange.

I am not going on holiday any time soon, but I am very happy for my friends who are. They are not forbidden to talk about it ffs.

[pudcat]

How ridiculous. I would not want to be part of this group. So are you not allowed to talk about a new dress, a new film, a meal out, or anything else in case it upsets someone else? Soon there will be no conversations to be heard anywhere as people will be too busy analysing what they are going to say. Is it racist, is it sexist, am I boasting, is it discriminatory against minorities. E.G. don't talk about your children in case it upsets a childless person and so on.

[Timeforabiscuit]

Was it bossy boots who messaged you?

In which case no one was remotely offended, she just wants to be centre stage all.the.time.

Your reply was fantastic, I'd just swan off now and not give it a second thought.

She will reply BTW (as its attention), but she'll be stirring up some half imagined slight.

[Timeforabiscuit]

Ooopps not the boaster, in that case dump the group and meet up with the nice ones - life's too short.

[saintlyjimjams]

I haven't been on holiday since 2003 - I still talk to people about their holidays. Very odd.

[cheeseandpineapple]

Good reply OP.

[EthicalPickle]

That's a really good reply. I can't stand that type of nonsense.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Good one op, they sound very childish.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

Great reply.

Agree it's probably just her who has got the hump.

[sarahandFuck]

I don't believe that any of them are actually upset.

The person who sent the message sounds like a trouble-causer just stirring things up.

Your reply sounds spot on.

[WanderingAway]

Your response was spot on. Not sure if she will reply though as I think she is the one who is jealous.

[apermanentheadache]

This person sounds about 12. Why not contact the nice ones asking if they feel like doing something individually with you instead? I couldn't be arsed with a return to teendom at this late stage in my life!

[ithoughtofitfirst]

....... eh?

I would have just completely ignored the message to see if she ever had the balls to bring it up.

[LemonBreeland]

She does sound like a bit of a stirrer. It will be interesting to see what her response is. Especially as she is probably talking shite. Could it be her thar is pissed off that she can't afford a holiday

[wiifitaddict1]

Yes do let us know if she replies.

[deakymom]

fgs i didnt have a holiday for over 15 years i never begrudged my friends having one! might have called them jammy sods but it never really upset me its just a holiday!

[TiredFeet]

Life's to short to bother with people like that. They sound ghastly

I am only getting a cold and damp holiday in the uk in the autumn this year, I have still been pleased for my friends and happy to hear about their more exotic holidays

[Delphiniumsblue]

You did the best thing. Perhaps you have just outgrown this group, it all seems rather childish.

[Trickydecision]

Possibly the Boaster resented you stealing a tiny bit of her limelight but rather than look jealous by saying anything herself, bore down on one of her hangers on to do it for her.
Of course it is normal conversation to mention a holiday.

[tobysmum77]

I reckon the boaster can't afford a holiday after her husband wasted money on 2 cars. seriously they sound just awful. Do yourself a favour.

[Tryharder]

I cannot afford a holiday this summer. However I am looking forward to hearing all about my friends holiday when she gets back from the US.

What rubbish.

[Tinkerball]

They do sound awful, it's not just the double standards but the fact you are expected to listen to boaster. Not my idea of fun!

[insancerre]

Ditch them
They sound very childish