She sometimes comes in either to 'drop something off' (never urgent) or 'borrow' something (without asking). She knows we are not in (although has on occasion woken my partner who is asleep after working late) or waits until we are on holiday. I have asked her before not to do it some years ago (and to ring the bell before letting herself in when we ARE there!). She had a paddy but it blew over and she continued to do it. I have now asked her again not to do it when it is not planned or expected. She looks after our children once a week and OF COURSE she can come in with them, that is not in question - I made that very clear. She has flipped out - said she will never come in the house again, thrown our keys in the door and said she cannot look after the children for the 3 days arranged this summer holiday. She says she is going to move away and said I am over controlling. She does not seem to care that she is throwing away her time with her grandchildren. Have I been unreasonable? Or is her reaction a bit mad??!
Part of me feels relieved (a. to have stood up to her and b. to have our keys back!) and part of me feels so sad for our girls, even though they know her mood can be unpredictable. Mostly just feel hugely angry that she can be so toddler-like, having a tantrum because someone has given her a boundary. In her mind it's always everyone else's fault. Grrr. Other than that I'm having a lovely summer holiday with my beautiful family :-)