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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want wee on the carpet

38 replies

perrymason · 24/07/2014 21:55

my 75 years old minlaw takes a bucket up to the loft room when she stays as she is nervous about steep stairs in the middle of the night. i would obv prefer if she didn't but do get it. I give her a towel to put it on to catch any splashes so that i can wash it after.
H finds my distaste of her doing this and the towel 'hilarious' (in a passive aggressive way) and thinks no-one else would have a problem with it and/or bother with a towel.
so aibu or is he?

OP posts:
ilovepowerhoop · 24/07/2014 22:01

could you get her a cheap commode instead? Means she wouldnt have to squat so far and less risk of splashing

ilovepowerhoop · 24/07/2014 22:02

www.betterlifehealthcare.com/view_product.php?prodID=9344 - like this?

LoveMyBoots · 24/07/2014 22:02

Can't you swap rooms with her & you sleep in the loft room when she stays with you?

startwig1982 · 24/07/2014 22:05

I can understand why she wants a bucket but I'd find a portable toilet or swap rooms.

PedlarsSpanner · 24/07/2014 22:05

Yes I would swap rooms

negrilbaby · 24/07/2014 22:06

Your poor MIL Sad.
I'm sure she would prefer not to have to squat on a bucket in the middle of the night! How humiliating for her.
Is there nowhere else for her to sleep? Or do what ilovepowerhoop suggests and get a commode for her.

LittleBearPad · 24/07/2014 22:07

Can't you swap rooms so she's not in the attic. Poor woman.

Original poster
perrymason · 24/07/2014 22:08

yes we do usually but sometimes due to having to get up for work early\not wanting to change sheets for one night etc she goes up stairs.
thanks for the suggestion will def think about that.
sounds like maybe h has a point..... annoyingly

OP posts:
coolaschmoola · 24/07/2014 22:11

If I had a 75 year old staying in my house who was that worried about steep steps they were feeling they had to use a bucket to wee in my first response wouldn't be that it was gross, it would be to put them in a more appropriate room!

I'm quite stunned that you didn't do that from the minute the bucket idea was raised, I wouldn't have let it get past the suggestion stage in my house.

coolaschmoola · 24/07/2014 22:13

And yes, even for one night. I'd rather change the sheets than subject someone to having to piss in a bucket to feel safe.

Original poster
perrymason · 24/07/2014 22:16

ok thanks it sounds like we are both BU and need to rethink whole situation.
im glad i asked.

OP posts:
Lozzie12 · 24/07/2014 23:05

You can hire commodes from Red Cross for her visits!

WaitMonkey · 24/07/2014 23:56

You make your mil pee in a bucket, rather than having her in your room and changing the sheets. Shock Shock Shock Poor woman, how humiliating for her.

MyFairyKing · 25/07/2014 00:02

"If I had a 75 year old staying in my house who was that worried about steep steps they were feeling they had to use a bucket to wee in my first response wouldn't be that it was gross, it would be to put them in a more appropriate room!"

This. With bells on.

Berryglitter · 25/07/2014 01:18

I could never let mil do that, ever. Especially at 75 years old. I wouldn't be sat worrying about wee on my carpet because I'd have enough respect to let her stay in an appropriate room with safe access to a toilet.

MildDrPepperAddiction · 25/07/2014 04:42

Yanbu to not want wee on carpet. YABU to let her sleep where she has no toilet access.

HicDraconis · 25/07/2014 05:01

I would move her from the loft room. My grandmother used to sleep in my room (at the top of the stairs) when she came to stay. She got up in the night for the loo, fell downstairs and died in ED a few hours later.

I would also hate the idea that my elderly MiL had to squat over a bucket in the night, it's appalling she feels she has to do that. A towel would be the last of my thoughts, I'd have installed a commode at the very least.

Moving her room so that she has access to a bathroom should she need one is much easier though. Changing sheets for one night is easy enough, you put your old sheets back on afterwards if you're that fussed about laundry.

Icelollycraving · 25/07/2014 05:26

When my mum stays she is given our room as it has ensuite for this reason. She is a guest in your home.be hospitable. Poor woman.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 25/07/2014 07:16

YABU for the reasons set out above. Poor MIL.

FunkyBoldRibena · 25/07/2014 07:22

Have a word with yourself love. Goodness me.

Hurr1cane · 25/07/2014 07:46

You can buy cheap camping toilets that are a lot nicer than having to pee in a bucket. I got a cheap one for DS that comes complete with toilet roll holder so he doesn't have to make it all the way up the stairs when we start toilet training. (He is 8 but have severe needs) it was only about £30

whois · 25/07/2014 07:48

Poor MIL :-(

Maybe she would find a travel john easier? Or get her a camping toilet bucket and some of the waste bags.

WaitMonkey · 25/07/2014 07:55

She doesn't need a camping toilet though. She just needs to sleep on the same floor as the bathroom. Hmm

fluffyraggies · 25/07/2014 08:00

It would be nice if DH took more notice of HIS OWN MOTHER's needs, rather than passive aggressive hilarity as his wife's attempts to manage the situation.

I do hope this isn't going to be one of those threads when, after the OP has said said yes, you're all right, posters still keep piling in with Hmm faces and snippy comments.

erin99 · 25/07/2014 08:04

I don't agree with your DH in the slightest, but please find a way to avoid it completely. Surely it's easier to change the sheets than faff about with a bucket of wee? (Or does she deal with the bucket herself in the morning? If so all the more reason for you to take the trouble to change the sheets so she doesn't have to.)