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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that all the fat bashing threads should have their own topic so that i can hide them?

125 replies

gymboywalton · 24/07/2014 15:33

how many hand wringing threads do we need?

how did we get so fat? oh i can't believe how many fat people there are! fat people should pay more tax and it goes on and on and on and on......

it's dull ffs!!! find something else to be shocked by!

OP posts:
Thenapoleonofcrime · 24/07/2014 16:42

I can't go on these threads anymore, they drive me crazy. If you believe the stats, then 50% of women and nearly 60% of adult men are overweight or obese, but mysteriously everyone on the thread slagging off fatter people is always 8 stone 2 pounds and has been for 100 years. I just don't believe it. I'd say that most of the mums at my children's school look lovely, but are carrying a few extra pounds, as am I. I sometimes wonder if people think it's other people that are fat but not them!

Secondly, even if I was slim, I wouldn't go on threads to demonstrate my superb mastery of lifestyle and eating and make everyone else feel bad. I was also once thin. Very slim, used to get comments all the time on my great figure. I didn't go round feeling better than everyone else as I knew it was mostly luck- I just came out thinner than other people, I didn't do much to maintain this (the odd night clubbing, didn't eat hugely) and I had friends who were pretty much similar in lifestyle who were much larger. I am now not so lucky, I'm on medication that makes you fatter, but I'm so darn glad to be not ill I don't mind. I don't want to go round every day beating myself up as I don't look like celebs aged 40. There's a lot to be said for being a self-confident woman in her forties or fifties (or older) and being slightly rotund of middle is really neither here nor there.

Thirdly, shaming people makes no difference to their weight. If fat-blaming and shaming worked, we would all be stick thin.

Finally, very few posters (there are some exceptions) ever want to discuss the obesogenic environment in which we live, but would rather go on about wobbly individuals on the beach. If everyone's pretty much getting to be at least overweight (even if you aren't, there may be people in your extended family or friends who are) then shouldn't that make us reflect on the quality of food we are all eating and start to get angry about that?

My concern isn't with tutting over fat children, its that basic decent standard food is now not available at a reasonable price in the UK- studies have shown for example, that a chicken now is not nearly as nutritious and is far more fatty than a chicken would have been forty years ago when our parents grew up (or we ate as children). Vegetables rot quickly within days instead of drying out, meat is filled with water and sugar, it's so hard to buy good quality protein. If you stored apples like we used to store apples from the tree, they would all rot within about two weeks, not last a winter. Even with super-human will to resist the constant presentation of snacks/chocolate/food every single place you look (and who has that?) it is hard to stay a healthy weight in this environment, eating frankly sub-standard food, and that's why I can't be bothered being judgmental of those that don't.

If a whole nation gets fat, doesn't it make more sense to wonder what it is about that nation that makes us like that, rather than point fingers at individuals?

BabyMarmoset · 24/07/2014 16:53

what napoleon said...

but less eloquently and with a couple of quickly googled stats Grin

GodDamnBatman · 24/07/2014 17:01

Yeah, I have nothing against fat people for the same reason I have nothing against smoking. It's none of my business. As long as your fat isn't clogging up my arteries, I'm apathetic.

But let's stop encouraging it by saying "big is beautiful". It's not. We don't have "smoking is beautiful" or "alcoholism is beautiful". It is a health risk. But, people don't need to have their weight rubbed in their face every breathing moment of the day either.

They should do studies to figure out what's going on though. People are fatter, and are gradually getting fatter. Part of this could be that junk food is so readily available and fresh food is time consuming and inconvenient to cook. It's also a huge problem of people hearing "diet and exercise" and deciding it means "Eat what I want so long as I go on a walk". You can't out exercise a bad diet. Not to mention that fat shaming makes people self conscious about going out and exercising or making them feel cruddy enough to turn to comfort food. It's a complex issue that does need addressing.

But.. Really, acting like being within a certain weight give you a moral high ground is stupid. There's no morality in the number on the scale, and I say this as someone who is a healthy weight.

BigBoobiedBertha · 24/07/2014 17:41

There are loads of studies on obesity, effects of fat on the body, diet etc, etc. The whole thing has been studied to the nth degree.

The problem is that is a very complex, that the studies don't always agree and, although they recognise they are fat, people don't actually listen to the advice. That maybe because it appears confusing (it can be if you compare two apparently similar studies with contradictory conclusions), because they themselves are fit and healthy (not all fat people are doomed to die an early death or to be chronically ill), because they have emotional problems that need to be addressed first, because they don't believe they can afford the diet they think they need..... the list of reasons why the research doesn't have much effect is endless.

There is no one solution that will help everybody because the reasons they are fat vary from person to person and not everybody can work it out.

motherinferior · 24/07/2014 17:45

Oh god those competitive non-eating threads do my bloody head in too. And not in a good way.

Laymizzrarb · 24/07/2014 17:49

Shonajay. How do you know that the woman you saw was not overweight as a result of treatment for a serious disease? Either way, nothing gives you the right to judge her, or people caring for her. Do you propose asking others patients whether they smoked, or led unhealthy lives that may have contributed to an illness?

BumpNGrind · 24/07/2014 18:16

Bertha, unfortunately IME being overweight is linked to an early grave. God knows how much I wish that wasn't true. Yes we can probably all cite someone who smoked like a chimney, drank like a fish, eat like a king and lived until they were 105, but its wrong to think of that being anything other than a lucky exception.

CaptainTrollolololol · 24/07/2014 18:17

Yanbu but you know this thread is going to go the same way right?

FidelineAndBombazine · 24/07/2014 18:18

It is the new way to troll, imo.

This.

Viviennemary · 24/07/2014 18:20

It's gone a bit over the top in this last few days. Lots of fat threads. I need to lose weight so don't object to being reminded that being overweight is not a good thing.

NoodleOodle · 24/07/2014 18:48

Yanbu

I hate all the fat bashing threads, they hurt my head.

FidelineAndBombazine · 24/07/2014 18:50

It's gone a bit over the top in this last few days. Lots of fat threads. I need to lose weight so don't object to being reminded that being overweight is not a good thing

I like your silver lining way of thinking. But it is not what is being expressed is it?

DoJo · 24/07/2014 18:56

My radical idea about he current trend towards adult obesity is non-scientifically based on my own experience which is that I spent most of my formative years being told that pasta, bread, rice etc were 'staple' foods.

Now, as I am no longer a teenager, I have to completely re-evaluate my eating habits, because in order to lose weight, or maintain a healthy weight, bread has to be treated like a treat, pasta is no longer a 'five times a week' easy dinner, rice has been substituted largely for 'cauliflower rice' in order to keep my calorie intake down and I have realised that the guideline 2000 calories a day for women will keep me fat and unhappy.

It is hard to completely change the way you think about foods, particularly when you have a relatively 'healthy' diet which doesn't include vast numbers of biscuits or cake, or crisps or any of the other foods which we all know are likely to lead us to being overweight. Gradually the number of foods which are switching sides from 'reasonably healthy meal' to 'treat to be enjoyed only occasionally' means that the number of meals in my repertoire is diminishing significantly, especially with an increase in the number of food allergies which I seem to be acquiring and my shopping bills are increasing to accommodate more fresh food in order to replace the cheap staples. I don't mind this in itself, but it's hard to remind myself that all the foods I grew up on and enjoyed are off limits, especially considering that eating just 100 calories a day or every other day over the amount which keeps my weight stable and healthy will eventually leave me stones and stones overweight.

FidelineAndBombazine · 24/07/2014 19:07

Forget the obesity 'crisis' Jo I can't see that here.

I can see a fat bashing crisis.

ouryve · 24/07/2014 19:12

If I had a large piece of Cake every time someone started a fat thread, I'd be more than a little overweight (and today, I'd probably feel quite sick).

There is a valid and important discussion to be had, but it's a far more complex issue than some people seem to think it is.

Andallmyhopeisgone · 24/07/2014 19:24

YANBU, there are people on here who are trying to recover from anorexia or have people close to them who are. I also wish the competitive under eating threads would stop popping up in chat, there may be an 'obesity crisis' but many of us do not need to lose weight.

Andallmyhopeisgone · 24/07/2014 19:31

And there seems to be this misconception that most people are overweight, or you would think so the way it's banged on about every day by the media, the government, on here etc, etc. Can't remember the statistics but if 30% are overweight then that means 70% of us are not and do not need this guilt trip shoved at us all the time. No one needs it, overweight or not.

mulberrylover · 24/07/2014 19:34

I honestly don't understand why people can't mind their own business.

I'm overweight- I know I am and I know it's my choice. It's also damn hard for me to loose weight because of my PCOS and the other shit that is attached to it. I'm not making excuses- I know I emotionally eat to cope with things- but it's my choice. I'm also trying to loose weight and i've lost nearly 2 stone in six months- "oh that's not much at your size". Well try fucking suffering with the shit in my life and my health problems and THEN tell me "oh that isn't much at your size"

I don't like people giving me dirty looks in Tesco when i'm buying chocolate- I give them back. But I also give them to the people who insist on nosing into the lives of people buying alcohol or cigarettes.

Mind your own. I personally believe it's better to have a beautiful interior than a beautiful exterior. Maybe that is just me though.

writtenguarantee · 24/07/2014 19:35

YABU. don't read them if you don't like them.

Catmint · 24/07/2014 19:38

Yanbu, it is so dull to have it constantly thrust under one's nose. It's like those people who have to debate and declaim every mouthful they eat, as if anyone else gives 2 hoots.

Bore off, hand wringers.

mulberrylover · 24/07/2014 19:38

It is of course linked to an early grave- however:

My grandmother lived to 89 (nearly 90) and must of been 25 stone for the 21 years I knew her. She had two heart attacks before her death- but her death was unrelated to her weight and 89 years isn't a bad innings.

My grandfather is still alive at kicking at 88- and he smoked 30 a day until 20 years ago. Likewise my other grandmother who is six months younger.

Let people live their lives how they want to- what they do doesn't make you happy and what you do doesn't make them happy so live and let live!

Mintyy · 24/07/2014 19:38

Yanbu op but there are loads of topics that are overdone on Mumsnet. Its partly cos there are so many posters now.

I don't believe for one moment that having endless discussions about the obesity crisis on Mumsnet is going to making one iota of difference to the statistics, so why do people want to go over and over old ground?

FidelineAndBombazine · 24/07/2014 19:39

Is this a thread about threads

Mintyy · 24/07/2014 19:40

Obesity is linked to an early grave, being merely overweight actually has rather good implications for health.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 24/07/2014 19:40

We can still see the fat-bashing titles, though, writtenguarantee - if it has its own topic, we can hide it, and not even have to see the titles.

I know I am obese. I don't need to have my face rubbed in it by insensitive posters here or anywhere else.