to ask for help with an 11 year old who can't entertain himself ...

[kitnkaboodle]

It's the first day of his holidays today and he has to be the only kid in the world who is in tears over it He is overwhelmed by the idea of all those weeks leisure time.
He is the first to admit that he can never think of ideas to entertain himself. This issue is that I work at home and there will be some days/mornings where I simply have to shut myself away and work and can't be on hand to entertain him/think of ideas. This morning he has fiddled around for an hour or so on computer/tablet and then had a meltdown because he is bored. (he's no stranger to computer games, but doesn't enjoy playing them for hours on end)
He has an older brother who is quite happy at home in the holidays (breaks up today) and has no trouble amusing himself. They are a bit at each other's throats at the moment, so unlikely to want to do anything together.
All these suggestions were rejected by him this morning:

• call on a friend/his cousin up the road (no - too shy to be the one to go and call round. I've texted their mums to say please feel free to call on us)
• read (no - he's downloaded a book and 'it's boring')
• do computer animation on my laptop
• music practice (which he actually enjoys usually - I know it sounds deathly ...)
• draw/write/make a cartoon strip/write some music/make something with lego robotics
• skype friends in the next village to see if they want to play on the green there - I will happily take him and drop him there for an hour
• download a film which I will pay for

... all rejected

I will be taking time off to go on days out and short trips away, and my partner will be looking after him on some days, but we have no long holidays planned (who can afford it??)

Is there a good website somewhere with holiday activity ideas that don't require parental involvement?

Help!!

Not saying they should be entertained , as I said in my earlier post , I am not my childrens entertainment system and I expect them to entertain themselves .I was responding to an earlier poster saying she kicked them out for the whole day and that they should be entirely organising their own social lives , and just commenting that not all children are confident enough to do this .

I tend to go to work v early in hi days leaving them asleep and they know that by the time I come back at lunchtime they should be up and dressed etc .My battle then is to separate them from the xbox/ computer .None of my have contemporaries in the village and rely on me to transport them to friends , activities etc

My call-to-arms worked and a friend (of mine) up the road invited him round to theirs for general outdoor mayhem. So that worked! Tho' I had to pretend it was a huge coincidence that she's texted. He was none the wiser

No, our kids don't organise their own social get-togethers either. Most social getting-together round here involves parents having to drive kids around so it's not as easy as all that

And he and his brother like to keep apart at the moment - it's best that way just now

YeGods - great idea. He is easily motivated by money and I want to do a boot sale some time these hols, so getting him to make (or even sort out) stuff to sell is a great idea I'll keep up my sleeve.

If he just needs some structure give him a project to work on over the summer. Can be anything - something that he's interested in obviously! Illustrate a book, plan a journey to another country and find out all about life there, field study of all the creatures in the garden, local history, learn a musical . . .

In all seriousness, ask him what he would like to do. Get him to write out the things he loves doing, and maybe get a few pointers from there? At 11 he should be starting to get a little idea of what he likes to do, I.e games, sports, hanging with friends...

Find some extra chores for him to do. He'll find something entertaining immediately

Why is letting him go to a holiday club unnecessary expense? If you can't afford it then fine but otherwise let him have some enjoyment there

Set him a challenge - www.50things.org.uk/media/73917/english_a4_list_poster_final.pdf

Remember how the summers used to seem endless when you were a kid ?
its because we were bored stupid..
only a couple of kids programmes on the tv - we didnt even have a telephone for years...
Nobody has raindrop races on windows because its fascinating.
I remember doing such exciting things as moving around the garden with the shade to see if i could tan just one leg...
erm..weaving / making a garden sized spiders web out of old cotton. it took days ! and days to get rid of too
knitting a 12ft scarf...OMG I could have eaten my own brain with a blunt spoon for a bit of relief..
now however people comment " oh your amazing - you can always think of something to do" and its true..but I don’t find things for the kids to do now they’re a bit older, they need to solve their own problems and develop their own creativity, and take time to find out what they’re interested in..I may structure their time a little...
so in advance I'll let them know..Mondays a round the house day and they will need to not get under my feet.
Tuesday I need to go shopping in town - so I can drop you and one friend off for swimming at this time and pick you up at this time...phone your friends and find someone free.
Wednesday morning is chores and then you get two hours on a gadget but the rest of the day is your own
and so on
so they know they only need to find some things to do themselves..otherwise its a bit overwhelming...

darkness at your one tanned leg, your pointless spiderweb and your blunt spoon!

darkness, I hear you. We didn't have a stereo or radio so we used to put the test card on and try to dance to the music. Yes, we put on a musical in the front garden one year, but I also spent a lot of time face-down on the lawn trying to tear blades of grass in two. These things lost their charm by the time I was 11. I was chronically lonely and always desperate to get back to school.

My mom was a teacher and was around in the holidays, but she never played with us or arranged activities. I'm not criticising her, it just wasn't the culture then.

As a parent now I find it very hard to tolerate the dc's complaints of being bored. I wish I could just grit my teeth and leave them to it, but I usually end up pulling out something for them to do...

Heh Darkness, that really made me laugh. I needed that this morning, so thank you

I think there's a balance to be. No, of course they don't have to be completely ignored or never attended to at all. But aiming for something like 50/50 planned or directed activities and the rest to be figured out by the kids seems a better solution to me. Then again, if balance was easy to achieve I think we'd all be perfect parents...

And I meant to say there's a balance to be had.

I always think that boredom is good. Boredom is the mother of invention. Leave it a few days and he'll be entertaining himself. Just don't let him near the playstation or computer!

No...necessity is the Mother of invention! The Devil makes work for idle hands don't you know!