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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that he should have stayed home?

67 replies

curiousgeorgie · 24/07/2014 08:36

Last night I put my neck out in my sleep. For anyone who hasn't ever done this, it's excruciating and it spasms for ages and in my case, leaves me unable to move without agonising pain (or sometimes just not at all.)

This has happened before and so I have a prescription of diazepam, tramadol and naproxen to take which helps. Except I have none at the moment.

DH was sleeping in the spare room because my 3 year old is having a bad sleeping phase at the moment and I text him early this morning to say I've really hurt myself could he please come in...

He either ignored it or wasn't up yet, but eventually he popped his head in the room to say he was going to work...

I said something along the lines of 'are you bloody kidding me? I can't even get up?!'

We also have a 13 month old who was asleep in her room.

So he left. And DD2 screamed for almost an hour while I tried to get up and get to her. I still can't get her out of her bed. My 3 year old has severe hypermobility and I need to carry her down the stairs and help her get up / down furniture etc all day.

This is impossible. I am pissed off.

OP posts:
nannynoss · 24/07/2014 09:15

Where are you OP? Someone on here might be local and be able to help somehow? Make sorting out help your priority for now, you can strangle DH later!!

curiousgeorgie · 24/07/2014 09:16

Beck&Call - it's okay, I don't have any left anyway.

OP posts:
HolgerDanske · 24/07/2014 09:17

Ok if he's a decent guy over all then I guess he must not have realised just how bad it was.

Poor you.

Is there any way you can call his work and get him to come home? It's not safe for you not to be able to properly attend to your little ones...

curiousgeorgie · 24/07/2014 09:17

Now I've got them downstairs between me and my 3 year old I'm sure we can keep DD2 happy enough for a while.

My younger brother may be able to help me when he wakes up (he's 18, so possibly not soon!!) I'll leave him a message.

OP posts:
Finola1step · 24/07/2014 09:24

From your posts, it sounds like it is actually unsafe for you to be on your own with such young dc today.

Does he know that your mum can't help out today? Is he assuming that she will step in like last time?

If he is fully aware that you are on your own then you have no choice. Call him. Tell him he has to come home. You need your prescription and he needs to look after the dc so that you are all safe.

PintOfTea · 24/07/2014 09:24

That's awful. I would be beyond angry.

So sorry you're suffering today Flowers. Do you have a kind neighbour who would get some painkillers/shove the gate for you?

ElizaPickford · 24/07/2014 09:27

Sympathies- I how you get hold of him and get hhm to come back.

DuchessFanny · 24/07/2014 09:27

I've had this, it is indeed agony and you just can't do anything ! I'm surprised you've managed to get down the stairs !
How are you feeling now ? Any luck with your DH or younger brother ?

ElizaPickford · 24/07/2014 09:28

Stupid phone. Hope you get hold of him!

Finola1step · 24/07/2014 09:28

X post. Keep calling him.

BlinkingHeck · 24/07/2014 10:03

Are you on Facebook can you put out an appeal for help?

curiousgeorgie · 24/07/2014 10:06

It's okay, my brother called me back. He's going to pop over to put my baby down for her nap at 11 and play with DD1 for a while.

He's brilliant.

OP posts:
HolgerDanske · 24/07/2014 10:10

Awww let him know i think he's a great little brother/uncle.

Wishing you a speedy recovery!

Tinkerball · 24/07/2014 10:14

Jinsei I'm not sure how the OP could have stopped her DH leaving given she couldn't move or get out if bed.

quietbatperson · 24/07/2014 10:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

weatherall · 24/07/2014 10:21

What an arse!

Why does he not give a f* about you?

Or his DCs?

If he doesn't have childcare to go to work then he needs to call into work. Or does he think having a penis makes him above making that call?

Frontier · 24/07/2014 10:29

This we thing just seems really odd. There's no way i old hv text dh in the next room if i was in that much pain, it would just be a reflex to call out.

dh might have stayed home but if there were options like family or neighbours he's more likely to call them and then leave for work.

Id feel far less guilty about asking an 18 to get out of bed to care for his sis and nieces than i would about asking dh to let work down .i don't understand why dbro couldn't be disturbed but dh should miss work.

If you really had no help then he should stay or arrange some but that wasn't the case

Pinkrose1 · 24/07/2014 10:31

The neck thing is awful. It's taken 60 mg dihydrocodeine, paracetamol and ibuprofen and an hour or two with a hot water bottle to even allow me to move.

It was awful to leave you with 2 kids depending on you. I would be disgusted with him too.

curiousgeorgie · 24/07/2014 10:48

Frontier - it's a reflex! She's a terrible terrible sleeper. We live in whispers. And also, I was in absolute agony and it took more to shout than it did for me to move my hand to the bedside table.

My 18 year old brother is a very mature 18 and we do lots of stuff as a family, holidays etc so although I wouldn't usually ask him, he's very capable and they love him..

OP posts:
DuchessFanny · 24/07/2014 11:03

So pleased your DB can help out !

DuchessFanny · 24/07/2014 11:03

Oops ! Meant to ask how you're feeling now ?

NatashaBee · 24/07/2014 11:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Frontier · 24/07/2014 11:53

Yes op, that's my point. dbro obv local, willing and able to help - there was no need for dh to stay home.

Would you have been so keen for dp to skipwork if he would have lost pay or would you have tried a bit harder to find a sensible alternative - the one you came up with eventually anyway?

Of course he should have stayed if you really were without help but you're not

curiousgeorgie · 24/07/2014 11:58

Frontier, he didn't know my brother was available. I didn't know. I asked just in case.

OP posts:
rinabean · 24/07/2014 12:03

Frontier what is your problem?

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