Priest telling boys how to pee at school?

[Downamongtherednecks]

Tween ds is at a private school, not UK. Most staff are female. There were incidents of the boys’ loos being left with pee around the lavatory bowl, so a male member of staff (priest) took the boys into the loos (in groups) to tell them that this was unacceptable and to suggest that they aim better and that they should perhaps practice more (!).
This was not discussed at all with parents.
AIBU to think this was not an acceptable thing for the school to do? It seems far too private and something surely better handled by parents. Priest has form for sexism so it is possible that may be one reason I instinctively don’t like it. DH (robustly boys’ private-school educated) says this was fine, it's a boy/male teacher thing, and he can’t see a problem with it. Happy to be told I am being biased against the sexist priest. No intention of taking it up with school btw, as dc are leaving anyway. AIBU?

[NigellasGuest]

YANBU
I think it is inappropriate and should be discussed altogether in the classroom and not in separate little groups in the toilet with the priest. Really a bit weird. And it's not good that this priest is notoriously sexist either

[whois]

I don't think missing the loo is confined solely to pre-teen boys, given some of the threads I have seen on here about some people's DHs!

Yeah well maybe if it had been mad an issue of earlier rather than thinking "boys will be boys" then it might not be so common in DHs!

It's fucking rats for anyone over the age of about 5 to piss on the floor and not clear it up.

[Dontlaugh]

I don't see sexism myself, but I do see CP issues, in that anybody, regardless of profession or gender, needs to ensure they are following child protection best practice when implementing sensitive training/education issues (such as this). At the least, that would involve informing parents and also having a second adult present.
Again, perhaps I'm sensitive due to nationality. The revelations are ongoing and truly unrelenting, as they should be.

[ApocalypseThen]

It is, and frankly I think the pigs of parents who haven't successfully potty trained teenagers should be apologising to the priest for putting him in a position where this is the only way for him to protect the dignity in work of the cleaning staff.

It's a pure disgrace.

[Dontlaugh]

Ooh "downamong", where ya from??

[Nomama]

Nigella, the priest has been labelled a sexist, not a paedophile.

It really doesn't seem weird to me... the nearest adult male available gets the job!

[justcallmethefixer]

Gosh I wish some one had done this with the men I work with. I am stuck in the awkward position of being the facilities manager and only female, with a complaint that the male loo stinks cos of the piss on the floor with stone carpet type flooring so not so easily wipe able. These males are all 40+
I am going to have to have a specialist cleaner in and put down a plastic mat. Feels like I am treating my colleagues ( some senior) like a toddler

[ApocalypseThen]

Being Irish isn't a trump card here, I am too, and I think the fact that the lads were in groups means that pretending to imagine there could have been anything untoward is a bit precious.

[SWIMTHECHANNEL]

I am in awe of the priest's cornflakes suggestion. So much better than a ping pong ball.

[PhaedraIsMyName]

What was sexist about this? The priest isn't saying all boys have revolting toilet habits-he was specifically addressing a group of boys who clearly do.

[JustDontWantToSay]

I haven't read a single reply but my good God - I'm shocked. Not remotely acceptable but more to to the point if it worries you as his mother then it's not ok.

[Downamongtherednecks]

dontlaugh Malahide... Maybe we are a bit more sensitive. justcallme are you planning on taking the men into the cubicle to discuss it ?

[Nomama]

As a mature student in a shared house I did. I waited til everyone was in and then invited the 3 boys/men to follow me... showed them the yellow stream and told them that they needed to sort it out between them.

I added that if it didn't stop I would be telling the landlord and every single visitor we had why they couldn't use the downstairs loo! I walked away without listening to anything they had to say.

It stopped.

[PhaedraIsMyName]

Not only am I supporting an Irish Catholic priest I'm now feeling sorry for the poor man who is now being accused of being a sexist paedophile.

[ithoughtofitfirst]

Hmm. A mixed bag.

[Sirzy]

From a child protection POV then there should have probably been 2 members of staff present - as much to protect the staff member as anything else.

But other than that I don't see an issue. I have had issues with young people I work with reporting toilets left in a mess because males apparently couldn't aim - and have discussed the issue with them. If I felt taking them into the toilet to show them the mess then I would have (with another adult with me obviously)

[MildDrPepperAddiction]

YABU. Teach your children not to piss on the floor.

The fact he is a priest has nothing to do with this issue. YABVU in the regard.

[ApocalypseThen]

Well if the priest was taking lads in one by one and forcing them to wee so he could find the culprit, I'd see the problem. But this is just silly. In fairness, he's done the boys and their parents a favour. The parents clearly aren't able to teach their sons how not to make a filthy, anti social pariah of themselves, they should be grateful that someone cared enough to try.

[GodDamnBatman]

Yes, generally it helps to show kids the mess while talking to them about it so they can't deny it and you can show them how bad it is.

Honestly, I see nothing wrong with it. At that age, if they're missing the toilet, it's laziness. If it's a medical problem, they need to sit.

[justcallmethefixer]

Downsmong after this thread I am considering it, but maybe a ping pong ball in the bowl is all I need?

[wigglesrock]

I'm a cleaner and have cleaned in schools before. On 3 occasions I've spoken to a member of staff about the piss on the floor, in the sink, in the bin ! and groups of boys were brought into the toilets before the end of the day & shown the state of the place. A teacher brought them in - that's exactly what's happened here. The priest is a member of staff - he's doing his job.

[phantomnamechanger]

It is no different at all to dragging them all back into the dinner hall after a particularly messy lunchtime, and bollocking them about the state of the floor and how its not fair on the poor dinner ladies who have to clear it up.

They HAD to be in situ, to be made to face the mess, in order to take it seriously.
They have probably been asked nicely before, this was a last resort.

The way some of you are going on, you'd think he had
a) wiped their noses in it
b) demanded they all get their willies out and show him their technique!

[Downamongtherednecks]

Sorry, to answer the sexism thing. The priest has previously fallen out with lots of the mothers after saying we "yap, yap, yap" in the parking lot . I only mentioned it (Catholic guilt) to say that I was aware that I already dislike the man.

[turdfairynomore]

The boys in my class (age 4/5) brought a boat from water tray into urinal and were propelling backwards and forwards by peeing on it!! Scientific or not-I had "words". And i'm neither male nor a priest!!