Tween ds is at a private school, not UK. Most staff are female. There were incidents of the boys’ loos being left with pee around the lavatory bowl, so a male member of staff (priest) took the boys into the loos (in groups) to tell them that this was unacceptable and to suggest that they aim better and that they should perhaps practice more (!).
This was not discussed at all with parents.
AIBU to think this was not an acceptable thing for the school to do? It seems far too private and something surely better handled by parents. Priest has form for sexism so it is possible that may be one reason I instinctively don’t like it. DH (robustly boys’ private-school educated) says this was fine, it's a boy/male teacher thing, and he can’t see a problem with it. Happy to be told I am being biased against the sexist priest. No intention of taking it up with school btw, as dc are leaving anyway. AIBU?
AIBU?
Priest telling boys how to pee at school?
Downamongtherednecks · 23/07/2014 21:10
I see peeing as a lot more private an issue than others appear to
Err, no. We all see peeing as something private, because you expose your genitals. Nobody was peeing, though - they were shown pee left on a toilet floor. Surely you see the difference? 
I don't want dd lectured in a loo either!
If that's where the pee is, how else are the teachers supposed to show the children what they're referring to?
I don't understand why he needed to take them into a cubicle, show them pee on the floor, and then discuss it with them in that setting?
I would not be happy if dd were taken into a loo and shown how to dispose of sanitary supplies in a bin either, even though obviously that is something I want her to learn.
When I was in secondary in Ireland in the late 70s and early 80s there was an ongoing problem one year with some girls leaving used STs and tampons strewn around in one particular bathroom.
The school was divided into areas, with the classes from each separate year having their homerooms in particular areas, and each area had a boys' loo and a girls' loo. The disgraceful loo happened to be in the area that my year's homeroom was in. The loo was located near one of the exits and was used by pretty much every girl in the school. Nevertheless the girls in my year were all marched in to see the mess, marched out, and read the riot act by the Principal who was a man (not a priest; it was not a religious school). He didn't do any shaming of anyone and he didn't say anything to indicate he thought there was anything distasteful about periods, etc. What he focused on was respect for the cleaning crew and by extension respect for anyone else employed to do menial jobs, and how arrogant it was to leave a mess like that for someone else to clean up even if they were paid to clean.
Names were picked out of a hat, latex gloves from the biology lab were distributed, and the offending items were picked up by those unlucky girls whose names had been picked. Next time it happened more names were picked. Gradually the problem came to an end.
The school cleaners (a crew of women some of whom had children and grandchildren in the school) had refused to clean biohazards and tbh I do not blame them. Neither did any of the parents, even those whose daughters had done their turn cleaning.
I don't think anyone, least of all lowly school cleaners, is paid enough to deal with that sort of mess children and teens (boys and girls alike) are capable of leaving in a school loo.
I don't think missing the loo is confined solely to pre-teen boys, given some of the threads I have seen on here about some people's DHs!
Maybe if some priest had taken those DHs aside when they were schoolboys and told them how to pee into the loo no women who clean the bathrooms after them would be complaining?
DS is ...not terribly guilty of peeing like a puppy
So he sometimes misses the toilet????
This attitude of acceptance of sheer contempt towards the person who will clean it all up gives me The Rage.
Do you seriously put up with this from a preteen boy?
Sexist? Guilty until proven innocent?
No. Just realistic. Sex abuse is mainly committed by men. Children at boarding school are particularly vulnerable and child sex abuse is rife in prep schools - there is yet to come a scandal in the future on the same, or greater, scale than there has been about the Catholic Church recently. Allowing a lone man to take little boys in small groups off to talk about penises is simply creating an opportunity for abuse that is clearly not necessary, and the fact that he wanted to do this is worrying.
The disdain/dismissal/disregard for child safeguarding on this thread is deeply worrying. Maybe it is naivety on the part of women who have had no involvement with male boarding schools which is still 
for the little boys concerned. OP's gut reaction of dislike of the priest is also not to be as lightly dismissed as others have done. There is a lot in gut instinct when it comes to child protection.
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